Once Again, here I Lay...It's been a Worldwind of Sorts.
My Life is Getting More Wild By Tha Minute...Feel like I'm on A Outer Space Transport.
I Can Go Sooooo Many Different Directions 2night...From Success 2 Motivation 2 Being a Dunce in Cupid's Court.
Just Gonna Lay back and Be Free...Whatever Comes Out Just Comes Out...Hope Nuthing Gets Tha Button of Abort.
Being Patient...Oh...I Feel like I Should Stop Cuz How I Hare That Term.
That "P" Word Can Seem So Outta Date, Almost Like This New 'It' Thing...Tha Return of Tha 80s Perm.
How Much Longer Must One Endure or Wait...Anticipation of Tha Flight Of Tha Butterfly While Inching Away like A Worm.
So Sick of Tired of Pulling Tha Ticket at Tha Deli of Succcess...Being Forced 2 Wait Over And Over Again Until It's Ur Turn.
It's So Difficult, To Wait...Especially When just like A Library Book U Feel So Overdue.
Like You've Graduated Cum Laude From Tha School of Hard Knocks, Reading Every Book, Learning That There's More 2 Luv Than Eating A Gurl's Susie Q.
Waiting To Be 'Normal' like Everybody Else, Not Having 2 Deal With Tha Expectations of a Leader...Whether 100% or If U Have Tha Flu.
This Want To Feel like Everything Has Been Worth It...Tha Sacrifices, Tha Rejections of Sorts, Tha Nights Wondering What More Can One Do.
Trust Me, I've Layed Awake At Night Staring at My Ceiling of Stars Many A Evenings, Just Wondering, 'Why Does it Have 2 Be So Hard?'
What Did I Do in Tha Past 2 Bring So Much...'You're Close But Not Quite' into My Life...Knowing U Don't Raise Tha Bar, U ARE Tha Bar.
Thinking After Scouring UTube Videos and Vintage Autobiographies Wondering If Ur Tough Journey is On Course With Every Other Big Time Superstar.
Tha Lessons You are Gathering Seem Like a Course Especially and Only Made For You...Hoping Its Worth Driving This Ride So Far.
Let's Just be Honest...I'm Tha Most Egotistical and Opportunistic Person U Might Ever Meet...Always Striving High, Wanting Tha Galaxy 2 Feel Our Energy of Fun.
But Boy...Let Me Tell U Son...There Have Been Some Moments Where It Has Just 'Stunk'...Where U Feel Like Ur Tha Only One.
Moments Where U Didn't Want 2 Get Out of Bed...Feeling Like Striving 2 Be Successful Just is a Load of Crap...Like A Sloppy Joe Without Tha Bun.
Or When U Constantly Feel like Gurls Just Want 2 Use You as This 'Boy Toy'...It's Crazy 2 Tha Point of Wanting 2 Put a Cap 2 Ur Head Using a Water Gun.
So Even With Patience...After So Many Experiences, So Many 'Let Downs'...There's a Thought like...This is So Unfair.
Why Am I Trying 2 Be Such a Gentleman Holding Doors and Returning Texts in a Timely Manner, When I Can Be a Total Jerk or Prick and Not Get Such a Weird 'Ur Such a Nice Guy' Stare.
Maybe U Shouldn't Try 2 Be Tha Best...Not Try 2 Take Care of Ur Body...Not Try 2 Be Somebody's Dream Come True...Not Even Really or Truly Care.
Others Seem 2 Be Getting More, By Doing Less...I'm busting My Derrière In Tha Lab, While Tha Party is Jumping off and Sexy Cindy Is Taking Her Bra off After Choosing Dare.
In This Microwave Society It's Seems Like Tha Saying, 'Good Things Come 2 Those Who Wait' is As Ancient As Tha Pyramids and Cleopatra's Necklace of Pearl.
Nobody Wants 2 Have 2 Wait For Anything Anymore...Traffic, Fast Food...A Chia Pet or Tha Results From a Perfect Bicep Curl.
We Have 2 See Tha Results RIGHT NOW...Folks Stalking People If a Text Doesn't Get a Response in Two Minutes...Like 'Hello!'...It Takes a Few Licks until U Reach That Tootsie Roll Pop Swirl.
No Longer Do We Cherish 'Tha Process' or 'Tha Learning Curve'...But let Me a Tell You if U Want 2 Be a Master At Ur Craft it's Gonna Take Some...No A LOT Of Colorguard Twirls.
Let's just let everything out here...
I'm a Pretty Confident Guy thinking that I can do anything and get anyone (Wink, Wink!) that we desire. But Every so often I get Humbled like never before and I'm stuck with 'MUD' backwards on my Face. I recall Tha First time I went Roller Skating. Down here in Miami. I was kicking it with a Homegurl and I was geeked up like A Teacher Just said Tha Final Exam Will Be Extra Hard. I've always Wanted 2 Skate...Even up North in Indiana, I'll be at Tha Beach Seeing Guys on skates. There was this One Girl who Used 2 Skate Around in Tha Hottest Bikini. "Rollerblade Gurl" is What we Called her. Perfect Tan, Blond Hair Just a Flowing. She Would Always pull out That 'Hot Pink' or 'Highlight Yellow' Bikini Top when She Knew Events or a Big Day at tha Beach was at hand. But She Could Work Those Skates For Real. Then Me Being a 'Pseudo' Cali Dude...I Had 2 Learn. Just Had To.
So we go out to This place down South Here in Miami and It reminded me of those Old School Roller Rinks. Like from Tha 70s or Something. Arcade Room, Music, Big Roller Rink.So When We Got There, and it was a Slow Night too...We Pick out our Skates and Then head 2 Tha Rink. Now they Had a Big Rink and Then a Small Rink Within For Kids or Early Beginners. I get to Tha Edge of Tha Rink and I'm Seeing These Grown Folks Moving and A Stone Groovin'...I'm thinking, 'I'm a Star Athlete, I can Do This!' Then I See Some Shortys or Kids Come Bouncing Along, Spinning Backwards and forwards...So I know I Can Hang Now. If they Can Do it, So Can Me. I wait along the lip of Tha Rink waiting for My Chance...I was a Big Roller Derby Guy back in Tha Day (Embrassing Admission of Tha Night! Hey, I'm a Midwestern Lad, OK?!! Geez...) But Them Gurls Could Move...And Fight. Hopefully I wouldn't Have 2 Toss No Mayweather Blows on This Nite. After a Several Minutes it was Like We Say in Tha Hood...'Ain't Nuthing 2 It But To Do It!' And With That I Took my First Steps into Tha Skating World.
Man....All H-E-Double Hockey Sticks Broke Out!!
I Could Skate Worth a Crap. Like it was BAAAAAADDDD!! Then to Make it Worse I Kept Falling. My Homegurl is Whisking Away In Pure Bliss and In Trying 2 Stay Up. I Could See These Kids Looking Like Get This Guy Outta Here. So Homegurl Came to Help me and Like Balance Me on Her Shoulder and Then let me Go...FLOP!!! I Would Get up...FLOP!!! I was About 2 Cry because I'm not Supposed or Thought I'm Not Suppose 2 Fail at Anything. Like When U think Tha World is In Ur Hands, Ur Ego Can Get Outta Whack and U can forget Tha Steps to Success.Then Tha Worse...My a Friend was like let's go to Tha Smaller Rink. Whahhh???!!! Austino Galaxia Don't Go Small! But I did that night. I tried to go like in 5 Feet Increments...But Still...FLOP!!! I would Fall and Fall and Fall...My Butt Actually Got Hurt Cuz I Fell So Much and Hard. It was So Horrible That we just Had 2 Leave. Had to.
As I was unlacing my Skates, I just felt So Down and Embarrassed. This Was Not Supposed 2 Happen. This 'Fun' Night Turned into Literally One of Tha Worst Experiences of My Life. I even Vowed Never 2 Cut my Hair That Short in that Style EVER Again just cuz of Tha Nightmarish Memories. But I thought about How Good I am in other things and how it didn't Transfer over to this. I was Hurt Y'all. Crying was an option.
But it was a Life Lesson on Patience, Hard Work and Not Being Discouraged when Ur Efforts Don't Show Immediate Returns. This Diary and My Life in Gerneral are filled with 'I Wanna Quit' moments. Whether involving A Job Not Hiring You (Tha William Morris Agency is Still on my Motivational Hit List, They Messed Up!) or Involving Relationships in Luv and...Just This Feeling That You're in a Bar Room Brawl Not only With Urself but With Life.
Tha Means Determine Tha Destination.
So When Trials or Disappointments Come Ur Way, They Are Ultra Tough, Believe U Me, but they are a Way of Preparing U For What U want or For Something Greater...Like Has Anybody Really Wanted Somebody Like...Bad?!! You did everything You could 2 Get Them 2 Notice You but Nuthing Worked. Like NUTHING!!! So Many Others Are Flirting With You but You want Her...or Him 2 Notice. Then After Tha Escapade You Find Out That They Weren't Who u thought They Were. And after that...'No, I'm not Interested' or 'I don't Want You' response...BTW, ur good if u get that cuz I just got Silence with No Yes or No, leaving Me 2 Wonder Why or How Could You Not Want M...Anyways, after That Stuff, U feel different. Or Better...At Least I do, cuz They Became Ur a Motivation and Prep Class For Something and Somebody Better. Treat Everyone With Respect Cuz U Never Know Who's Gonna Use You As Motivation To Become Tha Best Version Of Themselves.
But You HAVE to go through those moments. One of my Favorite Songs is By No Doubt Called 'Waiting Room'. Prince actually help write that song and was on that track singing. But if you use That time in Tha 'Waiting Room' Successfully and not Pouting or In A Constant Comparison 2 Others, Once You leave That Area and Utilize That Period To Study Greatness and Become One Within Yourself...Nuthing Can Stop You.
There's No Such Thing as a Failure. Just Moments That Prepare and Get You to what You Want. You May Wonder Why Life, Mother Nature, Father Time, Cupid, and Even God Seems 2 Be Picking on You but You Must Endure. Finding Tha Perfect Formula Takes Time. Greatness Brewed Takes Time. So We Can't Be Discouraged When U Feel like Nobody Notices You at Tha Gig...Or When Literally ALL of Ur Friends are Married, Most With Kids and Ur Still Wondering When U Can Meet Somebody Real Who U Can Share a First Kiss With. It Can be Frustrating but just Hang in There. Remember...
Life Has a Way of Saving Tha Best for Last.
And I Said it once, and I'll say it Again...Always Remember...
He or She Who Laughs Last...
Laughs Best!
Cheers and Toodles!!
Galaxia.
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