Ok. I just got done eating a Post-Workout Meal and I ain't Gonna Lie...It Might Be a Early Night.
No Party, No YouTube...Just a Few Words Here Then My Mind Is Going Into a Drowsy Flight.
Something Is In Tha Air This Evening, I have No Idea What, But With This I Will Not Fight.
We're Going 2 Let Our Diary Just Do What it Do...And Become Blind and Invisible 2 This Awesome Sight.
You Know Life is Gonna Try You Hard...To See How Bad You Want 2 Be Great.
There Are Moments Where U Have 2 Choose Biggie or 2Pac...It Could Be Tha Difference Between a Short or An Overnight Stay Date!
But One Must Push On When Life Gets Boring, When Work Seems As Stale as Day Old Bread, When Nobody Wants 2 Grow Around You and Thinks Tha World Revolves Only Around This Florida State.
You Can Feel A Tad Isolated, Like a Island Everyone Talks about, but No One Ever Visits...You Can Seem Boxed In But Those Goofy Sisters Named Destiny and Fate.
Sometimes Even With Love It Could Be Like, 'Is This All That's Out Here?' Tha Same Old, Same Old...South Beach Club to Brickell Bar.
Doesn't Anybody Else Want a Little More Excitement...A Trip 2 Tha Zoo...A Saturday Where U Museum Hop...A Drive 2 Palm Beach or Daytona...Who Cares it's Far.
Just Something Different...That's What All of Us are Looking For...What Separates You From Everyone Else Who Only Wants My Body, My Cash or That I Have a Bomb Diggity Car.
Something is Leading Me 2 Write 2 Night, So I Will...
Hold on. Just Got a Text Right Now, that One of My Favorite College Professors Just Passed Away. Professor Lubbert. He Made Such An Impact Whether Teaching Business Courses. His Tests a Were MURDER! Like it Literally Took 3 Hours to Finish. Quick Story...So I was a Pretty Good or Decent Student in College. But "Lubs" Test Were a Killa. For Some Reason I didn't Study or Something...No Bueno Whatsoever! So Basically I Knew I Was Gonna Flunk This Test, either Too Much Partying or Lack of Effort or Just Figured I Had One Test to waste. So Everyone knew that his test Were Hard, and took a Minimum of 2 Hours and Like 20 Minutes to Complete. His Tests were So Bad that we Had to Spread Out in Tha Library. So Since I knew That I 'Bombed' Out on this One, I literally Sat in One of Tha Library Cubes for 2 Hours and like 30 Minutes to Try To Time it Right before I Turned In my Exam! Cuz you can't Finish Before Tha Smartest Person in Class. But it Can't take You 4 Hours Either, Or It'll Look Like You Flunk...Even Though U Did!!! It was D-Day With His Tests and Exams. But he was So Supportive and Was There For Me and My Teammates At Our Basketball Games. Home and Away. Cool Dude.
Which Leads Me Directly To Today...
I'm on a Flat Out Mission to Live Each Day 2 Tha Max, Cuz You just Never Know. There has been a Lot of Things That has Tested My Patience in Ways I didn't even knew It Could reach. From Career Choices to Who I'm Dating To Life in General, Sometimes I feel like I'm in A Different Era or Speed. But I've never felt better and it's Time 2 Really Live. We might Say...Oh, I'll Call Such and Such On Friday...Or We Can Hang Out Next Week...Dude, Life Can Change in an Instant.
Ok This is Gonna Be a Hella Personal Story, but I don't Care.
So a While Back...Can't Believe I'm Telling This Story, Nobody Better Not Say a Word...I Mean A WORD!!! So Some Time ago, I was Doing a Workout. It was Like Pro Athlete Level With Push Ups on Weighted Balls, Ab Work, Pull Ups...I was Getting it In! Big Time. Nuthing out of Tha Usual Though. So I Get Home to Tha Old Place Off of Jefferson Ave. here in Tha Beach and Ate or What not and Took a Shower. It was Kind of Warm but Whatever. I really considered Myself in "Game Shape" like my Cardio was Right, I was Fit Like D Wade and All Tha Balling All-Stars. Every once in a awhile I like 2 Change My Body Just to Keep life Fresh. That Season it was About being Ultra 'Fit' and I was.
So Anyway, I lay down go to sleep. But Then I wake up in Tha Middle of Tha Night...in A Horrible State. My Stomach was Killing Me Softly Like Lauryn Hill. It was Brutal...So I Grab Some Pepto-Bismol Drunk That But It Didn't Work. Ok. So I lay back down and Begin Tossing and Turning, This Was Like 1am in Tha Morning. So I was Touching My Tummy, but Then I felt Something Different Below My Adonis Belt...Like My Freaking Balls Were Swollen! Let Me Do This Before I Go On...
* Galaxia Advisory: Tha Following May Contain Language Not Suitable For Children or Adults Under The Experience Of 12. Parental Discretion is Strongly Advised! *
Tha Last Thing I need Right Now is Tha FCC to be on My Case...
So Yeah, My Balls Were Growing By Tha Moment. Which A) Stunk Cuz I Had No Idea What Was Going On. I kept Saying I had Big Kahunas...And Just Like Tony Robbins Would Say...'You Speak it Into Existence' I guess...Then B) I Couldn't Think About Gurls Cuz...U Know...I mean U Know...I didn't Want My Carrot To Reach Its Full Peak!! I Was Hurting, but Not Knowing What To Do.
I Knew That I need To Try To Ice My Genitals Down. But I knew I had No Ice Cubes or Ice Package. So in Tha Pitch Dark of My Place, I Limp Over To My Fridge. I opened it Up and Noticed This 16 Oz. Bottle of Orange Gatorade. I Take a Peek 2 See If Anybody was Looking, Then I Grabbed it Out Tha Fridge, Closed Tha Door...Limped Back Over To My Bed Where I Plopped Down...Dropped My Shorts...And It Still Might've Been Tha Best Head Job I Ever Received!!! I know it was Tha Cheapest! I know That For Sure. Ha ha!! So I'm Laying in Bed, Face To Tha Ceiling, Shorts Down With A Ex-Cold Gatorade Bottle Sitting and Massaging on My Balls...Just Contemplating This Just Can't Be Life Right Now!!! I'm in Tip Top Shape, Whhyyyyy Meeee?!!
So I Call Up North To My Mom and Dad...One Hand on Tha Phone, Tha Other Down Below...As If Mom or Dad was Gonna Catch a Red Eye Flight at Two O'Clock in Tha Morning. Basically they was Like...Be Like Wyclef...'Someone Please Call 911?!!' So I did...At First I Forgot Tha Number (Smile!)
Then I Called and Said I needed Some Help....Of course She Asked Why...Think I Told Her My Nuts Were Swollen or Something Along That Line...She Said 'They're On Their Way.' Next Thing I know it, I hear That Siren cuz Tha Fire Station was Right Up Tha Street.
So I'm Bent Over in Pain Trying 2 Get My Keys. And On Everything I knew...I knew it was Tha Wee Hours of Tha Night but I just Prayed That Perez Hilton didn't Have His Hounds Snooping Around Tha Neighborhood Cuz I Looked Hooooorible!!? I'm a Fashion Guy, but I totally Looked Like I just Came Outta Rehab. Mismatched Outfit...Shoes With Ghetto Socks...It Was Rough. So I limped Out to Tha Ambulance/Fire Rescue and They Start to Ask me Questions and I see Some Gurls Back There Too. They ask me What's Up I tell them...My Tummy is In Crazy Pain, and My Balls Are About 2 Bounce. They Ask me Beep Near Like 10 questions Before They Pulled Off. I Was in so much pain I Was Gonna Start To Signify And Spell out Words and Letters by Using My Hands To Show Tha Number of Tha Letter. "A" would Have been an Easy "1"...But "Z"...Oh My!
They Whisk Me Away To Mount Sinai, and As We were Zipping Through These South Beach Streets I thought...That Every Big Time Celebrity Has Been Whisked Away to Tha Emergency Room at zone anime or Another, so I Took This As A Good Omen That I'm Gonna Hit Tha Big Top One Day! I was Honored. We Get To Mount Sinai....I wait in Tha Emergncy Room for a Bit. Kinda Rare Right?!! Then I heard Tha Voice of God and He Said...'Austin Williams!' I limped Over and They Took Me Inside to Tha Back.
Man...I had No Idea All Tha Craziness That Happens At Tha Hospital Late Night Style. I go in and Too my Left, I just See This Guy on a Stretcher Still Wearing His Leather Jacket, just A Moaning And A Groaning...'Ahhh....Ahhhhh....Ahhhhh!!' It was Like a Movie. They Tossed Me Into This Room and Gave me A Pill or Something to Ease Tha Swelling. I was in there for Awhile and Thought They Forgot About Tha Kid. Finally A Mamacita said 'Let's Go' they were Gonna Take Some Tests on Me. They Put Me On This Stretcher Bed, and I'm Being Whipped and Flung Through Tha Emergency Room like an Old Episode of Doogie Howser!! All I saw Was Ceiling Tiles Speeding By and All This Commotion in Tha ER. It was a Real Life Movie, and I was Tha B-List Star. They get me to this Room, and Homeboy is Like We're Gonna Take Some Tests. There Were Too Nurses in There As Well. They asked if I had Sex that Night...I have Heard of Women literally Putting Guys in Tha Hospital cuz...Well Tha Power of Tha Pooh-Nanny is Real, Lets just Say That!! No Sex That Night. But They were Gonna Exam My Genital Area. And They Needed To Put Some Of This Clear Gel on My 'Stuff' for Tha Ultrasound. If Those Gurls Would've...Never Mind. Trust me, if Those Gurls Would've Applied That Gel to My Stuff, Oh Boy! I Would've Seen a Why Mount Sinai Always Ranks Number # 1 in Customer Care!!! Ha ha ha!! But they Didn't, and Doc Stuck Tha Gel on This Joystick of A Thing. So All Three of Us Are Looking At My "Johnson" on Tha This Ultrasound Big Screen. Doc was Doing Play-By-Play...'You Here, That's Fluid...if It Moves Here and Not There...That's a Score!!!' I was like, 'This is Tha Most Embrassing Moment of My Life! Hands Down!
After All That, they gave me Some Horse Aspirin or Something. I don't know if it was Even Legal by Tha FDA, but I took them Mugs and Tha Swelling Went Down. No more Calvin Klein Undies Though. Now Just Emporio Armani and Versace and Diesel, I guess. It's not that I'm Super 'Rich Boy'...Well, maybe I am, but Those Brands Truly Fit Me Best.
That's it. My Life is Wild! Hope U Are Ready, Cuz Tha Stories Never Stop!
Live Each Day 2 Tha Fullest Cuz Like My Pops Always Said...
Anything Can Change In Tha Blink Of An Eye!
Smooches!
Galaxia!
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