Come On Diary...Give Me Something Good 2night....
How Would we Live If we Knew Every Single Thing we did Was...Gold?!
Somehow I have a Feeling That our Swagger Would Be on That Platinum Movado Bold.
Knowing That Perfect Timing was our BFF...Turning Into a CW TV Series Where New Fun Episodes Weekly Unfold.
Understanding That Uncan Do Whatever and it'll Work out...Never Contemplating What Haters are Gonna Tear Down Your a Soul.
Starting 2 Feel This...
I can Raise My Hands Eiffel Tower High to Tha Number of times I held Back Cuz of What Others Thought.
Seeing that Person that EVERYBODY Hates or Can't Stand, But U Got Tha Hots For Them...Maintaining Ur Secret like a Priest In Tha Confessional Temple Loft.
Or Not Attempting 2 Answer Every Question in Class...U Know Tha Answers but are afraid That at Lunchtime Your Table is Gonna Turn into Tha One Tha Cool Kids Formally a Sought.
Coming Home Kicking Yourself Like, 'I Shoulda' or 'Why Didn't I Read Tha Signs?'...Hating that Everything Clicks Now like Tha Color Black and a Sexy Dame of Goth.
It Stinks. And Tha Funny thing is...Tha People Who u were Trying 2 Impress One Way or Tha Other Didn't Really Care.
That Baby Gurl That U Consider Weird For Liking...Ends up With Tha Hottest a Dude in School...That's Me By Tha Way (Wink!)...And U Wish u Hadda Chose Truth Instead of Dare.
Or U Later Find out With Ur Co-Workers that They were Thinking Tha Same Thing u were Thinking...No One Spoke Up...and No Everybody Has a Less Hours 2 Share.
Putting Urself Out Here and There Takes Courage...Which Isn't Tha Absence Of...But Tha Ability 2 Overcome Ur Fear.
When I Started This Diary...Or When I release our Wackiness Into a Tha Galaxy I Wondered...What if People See Not Tha Fake But Tha Real Me?
What if They Find Out Some of My Most Tearful and Disappointing Moments that Shouldn't Be a Shared Via Facebook, Email or TV?
Perhaps I should Hold Back on Who I Really Am...I mean U Can't Have a Luv of Fun...A Luv of DoG Backwards and Have this Huge Part of u That is Super Freaky.
That's Not Gonna Work....That's Not Tha 'In' Thing Nowadays...Be Like Everybody Else and Just Throw a Few Pics of Bert Hugging On Ernie...A Cat Doing Tha Splits Over Tha Grand Canyon and Be Like Tha Beatles and Let it Be.
But That Wouldn't Be Me.
We Talking about Life but In a This a Luv and Dating Game...After all I've Been Through We've Decided That u Either Gonna Want None or All of Me...That sounds like a Sex and The City Line!
Meaning I'm not gonna Put up all these Barriers a Which Us Miamians Put Up...Look Everybody Has a Past...Everybody a Except Gloria Estéfan Has Been Hurt..And Guess what...U End Up Fine.
If U Like 2 Listen to 2 Chainz Or Rock Out 2 Some Alice in Chains or LMAFO Before U go Out...That's Awesome! Don't Fake Tha Funk Just So U can End Up with a Miami Dolphins player or a Video Vixen Dime.
Just Be Yourself Because U Might be Surprised At Who Has Experienced or Who Likes Tha Same Things That U Do...Tha Key 2 Finding a Diamond is 2 Believe There's Actually One Inside Tha Mine.
I'm a Pretty Flexible Guy...And Ladies I'm Not just Talking About Yoga and Pilates Either! But When it comes 2 Having Fun, My Swag is on Krusty Tha Clown Level and That's With or Without Tha Beer.
But There Have Been Too Many Moments Where I've Tried to Change Who I Am or Believe a That a Luv & Fun is All About....Just 2 Try 2 Impress Somebody so I can get a Bedroom Glance or Glare.
I recall that One Time Going 2 A Party saying 2 Myself...'I'm on Chill Mode 2night...I've drunk Way too much lately...Got a Workout Tommorrow...This is a Dry Party For Me. Just Follow Tha Camp rules like Yogi Tha Bear.'
Then All of a Suddenly U See That Gurl Who Is Looking So Curvaceous Offering You Some Vodka with that...'Pretty Please!' Pout of Tha Lips...And I get My Sip on cuz I hope Later on I can Get a Taste of Her Pear!!
I'm not Talking Bout Drinking or Not Drinking Cuz U Have 2 Enjoy Life...I mean if Jesus can Drink Some Wine, then I think Every once in a While We too can Enjoy Laughs, Dance and a Nice Bottle.
What I'm Saying is Adjusting who you are for Tha Possibility of Tha Unknown...Nnot knowing that Who U Just Might be Tha Type of Person they Want...Someone Nerdy 2 Them is Tha Equivalent of Being a Ford Model.
We look at What Car a Guy Drives or This Gurl Dresses So Chongalicious & then Make Assumptions That they are Ballin' like Jim Jones or Only Date Folks Who Live on Full Throttle.
Adjusting Our Rap...Or Not Even Approaching Somebody Cuz u think They Are 'Out Of Your League'...No Such Thing BTW...Giving Urself a 'F' like Ur In Class on Welcome Back Kotter.
Maybe it's that I've been burned too Many Times or It Might be This Ear Wax Cleansing That's Bubbling in My ear as I Write this...But if I'm Gonna Go Out...It's With My 'A' Game.
Almost Done, but I gotta Say This...Gurls U Can Go & Do Ur Hair or Grab U a Chocolate Flavored Rice Cake as U watch Tha Little Women:LA Marathon on now...This is Guy Talk...One Sorta Insane.
Fellas...It ain't Nothing Worst in Tha World than Seeing an Absolutely Beautiful Gurl in Tha Gym...At a Bar...or In Your Easy Bake Oven Class...and Walking up 2 Her With a Line Soooo Lame!
83% of Tha Time Tha Gurl knows That U Noticed Her...Sees You Coming a New York City Block away...and U start out Tha Convo like..."That Trump Guy Huh?!!"... She's like W-T-After E-Before G...U @Least Coulda Spit a Lyrical Line From T-Pain!
And Texting is Even Worse...When it's After 7pm and a Gurl Texts U...'I'm so Bored'....That is Tha Universal Sign to Turn this Text Session into a Freakfest or For u 2 Hop ur Booty over cuz She wants to Do Something Face 2 Face.
But Tha Mistakes That Some of Us a Guys make is We Reply...'Eye Know. I'm Bored Too.'...See Right after that Second 'Oh' in "Too" Dries in Tha Digital World, She's Making Plans with Another Guy 2 Take Ur Place.
I say all these things Cuz I've Missed Many a Bust Downs...I mean, I mean...Very Classy Dinners of Fine Dine and Drink Cuz I Was Blind 2 That Moments Exquisite Taste.
Feeling So Stupid that This Super Hottie Wanted 2 Be With Me but My Lack of Preparation Prevented me From Even Getting 2 First Base.
I Really Feel like telling Another Story But Something is Telling Me Not to...Whatever...
Ok, This is Super Embrassing so let's just Speak real Without any Rhyme. Pinkie Promise.
I remember Tha first gal that I really...really actually asked out. I was in school, actually in College. High School was off Tha charts, but I never really dated HARD! I knew all Tha Gurls in my Class...Many of Tha Super Hot And Cool ones Above me too. I probably Shoulda Had a Baby by 2nd Semester 11th Grade! But anyways, College you're more open, on your own...If I want 2 date a Gurl who has Pink Hair and her arm is in a Tatted Sleeve I can. Nobody back home can know...Yada Yada...We can keep it real 2night right? Cool. I enjoy Tha company of a Plethora types of girls....Shapes, Sizes, Personalities, Freak-O-Meter...it doesn't matter. That's probably why I've been cool with so many Gurls and Women cuz they know with me, they can just be themselves. I'm all about Fun...Can talk and Relate to Gurls in Ways other Guys might not be able too. We've seen a lot...
But I saw this Gurl who just looked so Upscale. How she dressed, her smile, she Had a Sexy little Cindy Crawford Mole on her face. Her body was small but attractive to us as well. She knew how 2 Work her Boobs and Casual Heels. Tha moment I saw her she caught my attention. She was a Mexican Beauty...The First of Many that will Later enter my Life. I had 2 Have her.
I didn't have her in class, just saw her all Tha time passing on campus. She would always Have her friend with Her so I was like, 'Jumping Jack Flash!' How in Lil Wayne's World am I gonna be able to even Approach Her. Even see her cuz I don't know her schedule. Then I would have to Have some kind Of Wing Man to Distract Her Friend so I could Grab a Moment or Two with Her. It was like a Game of Battleship with this Gurl...I had Blueprints, Bratz Dolls Interacting Role Play...This 'Ish was Serious! So we would pass each other and I'll just exchange a 'Hi' and she would respond back with Tha same. I would go back 2 Tha Dorm and Smile for Hours..."OMG! SHE SAID HI!!!! I CAN'T BELIEVE IT! CAN'T BELIEVE IT!!' Not really, but I knew my Nikes were in Tha Door.
So one day I was just like, I'm just gonna go for it. 'Beep it!!' I've seen Steve Urkel and Carlton Banks work Their magic Numerous times so I'll well versed in Pimpology 101 Thank You!! I knew where and what time I usually see her after this one class. So when u are on a mission like I was U didn't Give a Darn what Tha Professor was talking about cuz In 50 minutes when this Propaganda is over With Tha Real Fireworks are Gonna Fly!! So class ended and I had my boyz...Yes with a 'Z'...With me. I saw her walking and my heart began to beat just a little faster but it was Now or Never...She was approaching...Approaching....Oh! Here she comes, She's walking fast...Say Something...Quick...Quick!!!
"Excuse Me...Excuse Me!"
Now being a Minor League Vet but Technically a Major League Rookie to all this I really didn't what was gonna happen. I've never just stopped a Gurl who looked like her just Cold in her steps. I ratted off How I've seen her...What's your name?...Can I get Them Digits? And within 2 1/2 minutes tops I got her number and I thought not too bad Gumshoe for a First Time!
So here we go...Tha Dreaded first phone call. I shouldn't known that Doom lurked around Tha corner cuz she told me She could only talk after 10pm. And My Grandpa...Roy C. Martin specifically told me...
"If Tha only time you can meet somebody is at Nighttime...Then u need 2 Leave Them Alone!!!"
Which is Mad true cuz if u Really want 2 Talk or meet up with Somebody, YOU WILL MAKE TIME! Secondly, Tha Phone Reception inside My Dorm and Tha Service I Had was Absolutely Whack on Steroids! I had 2 Go outside...Tha phone kept braking help, so She could Barely hear Me...Then on top of that, Tha Conversation Was Bloody Horrible. It probably was me. I didn't know what to say..,it was late...My 'Rap' wasn't at Tha Tupac and Biggie level it is 2day. And it took just that One Call, That One Bad Impression to Jack Everything Up.
I learned A Lot of things, but I say that cuz And Gurls can Concur...A Doll is gonna have to really, really like you or have nobody on 'Her' roster to keep Giving u Chances to Make up for a Bad 1st Impression. Yes, U may be Nervous to be Yourself or Try 2 Hard but just be Confident in Who you are...What Things You Dig or Don't Dig...Gurls like Guys who are just Themselves. If anybody is Gonna Luv or Hate you then Let them Luv or Hate Tha Real You! U always Strive to improve To A Better Version of Yourself, but if a Person doesn't want 2 be with who u are at your Core...Then no matter how much money they have, or how cute they are, or how perfect their 'Toosh' is u gotta let them go and Make Room for That right Person. But give them Tha Best Version of You so Both Parties can Examine if it's a Click or Not.
Period.
Oh.....it's 8:51pm and I still gotta Eat and Get in a Stretch Session before I lie me Down 2 Sleep. Just a Goofy Kid with a Crazy life, who all About Luv, Laughs and Having Fun. U can take away my South Beach Lifestyle, my Versace and Alexander Wang and Whatever and That's Who I am. And with that you can Either...
Luv Me or Hate Me!
But I Prefer u Luv me!
And I think u will.
Galaxia!
Smooches!!
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