Luv's Dreammare!

OMG! OMG! I'm Running So Late...This Is What I've been waiting For and I'm Messing Up My Chance.

I Totally Feel like That Kid At Tha Junior High Prom, where Nobody Wanted To Juke...So my Science Teacher Mr. Loman feeling Sorry for Me Took Me 2 Tha Middle of Tha Floor 2 Dance!

Does Anybody Know How Embrassing That is...Tha Same Guy Who Fondles Frogs For a Living Is Dipping And Twisting Me...I didn't Know if I was on Dancing With Tha Stars or a Crossaint From France!

But Yeah, that's How my Life Has Been...So Quiet on Tha Luv Side...Like None of Tha Gurls take a Look at Me...Not Even a Glance.

I remember Having This Crush on this Gurl Earlier This Year...I don't Speak 2 Much Spanish But She was Cool and Let Me Share Her Twix Bar.

Yeah, I'm Only in Fourth Grade but To Have a Gurl who's nice and Knows Tha Theme Sing to Dora Tha Explorer, I was in Luv With Her, Her Accent and Her Mini-Golf Game...Always Under Par.

But I never Had a Gurlfriend...Heck, I never even Hugged a Gurl Before...Grandma Edna Gives me those Hugs with Wet Kisses...Yuk! Left me with a Permanent Scar.

Yet as Rich Homie Quan Says...This Gurl Got Me 'Feeling Some Type of Way'...I'm only 10 Years Young...I Have No Idea when My Cousins Say...'It's Easy...U Just Put Your Pickle In Her Jar!'

So One Day After Recess, I got Tha Courage to Approach Her...She was on Tha Swings with Her Friends...They were Singing And Doing Moves I'd Only Seen on Shakira's Hips.

I Was Walking My Way to Her, and on my way, my Glasses began to Fog up...Next thing I know it I Hit some Elevated Pavement and...Boom!! Face Down I Tripped.

Everybody was Laughing at Me, even Biggggg Thomas who Always Smells like BK Jr. Whoppers...I tried To Play it off Like Mayo...But This Miracle Wasn't Whipped.

I looked up Only 2 See My Dream Gurl Shaking Her Head in What She just saw...I felt Like I Had So Much Nacho Cheese on My Face...Cuz Now I was Tha School's Dip.

Everyday reminding Me of what Transpired Just Past Tha Monkey Bars...I felt like It was on Constant Repeat...Like When My Uncle Used to Pop in that Tape of Kim and Some Guy Named Ray J..

He would always Have Me Leave Tha Room to Go play My Ninjas or Bouncing Balls and Jacks...I Have No Idea What He Was Watching, I do recall hearing Something like, 'Give it 2 Me Baby!'

Anyway...That Has Ruined My Entire Year...Until Today...Which is Tha First Day of This Kid's Class or Seminole...Or Seminear...Oh, it's a Seminar...That's a Big Word but I'm Class Champ in Jeopardy!

To Be Honest I'd Rather be Playing FIFA, That just came out 2Day on Tha Xbox...But this is Tha apart where I Hate Being a Kid...Being Forced 2 Listen 2 Mommy and Daddy.

See My Dad...I gotta Look For my Shoes...My Dad Met My Mommy on Some kind of MTV Spring Break...It was Up In Daytona Beach...I like it there...So much Fun.

My Dad Said That Tha Red Hot Chili Peppers just hit tha Stage after Some a Guy Name Coolio, who I've Never a Heard of...Sounds So Whack! But there was Mom...With Her Friends in Tha Sun.

He told me he walked straight up to her and kissed her, which Was Kind of Dangerous because Mom Said Daddy Never knew that in Her Bathing Top was a Two Shooter Gun!

Now Whenever Something Good Happens in our House they Both go, 'Bang! Bang!'...It was cool, but  I'm totally over it...Dad was going 'Bang! Bang' Tha Other Day over Finding in Tha Couch a Stick of Wrigley's chewing gum!

There's my Shoes...and Now I'm Out...Hold up let me tell...'HEY MOM!...MOM!!!! MOMMMM!' Nobody in their Right mind would Guess that My Irish Mom is Listens to that Future and Drake Mixtape!

'HEY MOM!!  I'M GOING TO THAT LOVE CLASS NOW...I SAID I'M GOING TO THAT LUV CLASS NOW!! I WILL...LUV YOU.' I Hope there are some Sixth Graders in Her Who Look Greaaat!

Maybe Miley Cyrus will be in Here...Tha way She Twerks is Sooo Hot...I like that Woman from Scandal too...She's Like Old...But if u Can Make Tha President Luv you...You're Hot First Date.

I have Tha Shortest Walk to this Youth Center in Tha History of Life...One Time I Broke into at tha Center One Night and Stole This Gurl Rhianna's Birthday Cake.

It was Gooooood...Ok, we are in here...That Funny, there's Nobody in Here...This Starting 2 Look like a Scene From Despicable Me...But I'm alone.

I see a Light from a Classroom...Let me Walk Down a Bit...Here's a Sign that says: Kid's Luv Seminar...Guess I'll go in...(Creeeek)... Who's this Guy Sitting and Talking on Tha Phone?

Excuse Me Sir...'So Yeah I Had her Tan Legs up in Tha air and Then I reached for Two Twinkies and'...Sir....Sir...EXCUSE ME SIR!!! Is This Tha Right place? My mind was on Roam.

'Let me Call you back, this little Nitwit Finally arrived...Alright...Peace Out! Don't You ever scream at me again Little Charlie, or I'll put Tha Smackdown right upside Your Dome!'

Sorry, but is this Tha class for Luv and Dating for Kids? And if so, What is Your Name?

'My name isn't important.'...Yes it is...'No, it isn't.'...Yes, it is...'No, it isn't!!'...No, it isn't...'YES...IT...(Kid's Laughter)...Just Sit Down and Shut Up, No More Silly Games!'

Sorry...'You better be...Ok, let me Call out Names for Attendance...Jenny Lopez...Jenny...No Jenny...Sean or Puffy or Diddy...No Puffy....Benjamin Afflack...Chris Ju...Oops! Wrong Class...I'm Going Insane!

Romeo Cassanova Amore'....Ew! Ew! That's me! That's Me! HERE!!...'Would you settle Down, this Isn't a Casting Call for Rugrats Live on Broadway! Relax, I see you and your Vanilla Ice Mane!'

Who's Vanilla Ice?...'I see this is Gonna be a Long Class...Anyway I'm her to teach you all Tha Tricks, Schemes, and Ways to get Tha Whatever You want Outta Any girl at any age!'

Uhhh...But I just to go to the Movies and Grab some Ice Cream...'With Sprinkles!'...Huh...'Gurls always Luv Sprinkles'...Oh, ok...But Hotel Transylvania 2 Comes out and I wanna Go with Paige.

'Boys asking Boys to Tha Movies at Your Age, Man, this Generation is Somethi...'...What Do You Mean, Paige is a Gurl??!...'Oh, I must've Mixed This with a scene from Degrassi...Let me set Tha Stage.

So you're a Loser with Gurls, Nobody wants to Dance with you at Tha School Dance but a Creepy Science Teacher and...'(Sniff, Sniff!)...'Please say ur Not Crying...I should Send u to the Time-Out Cage.'

Sorry...but...How Did you know?...'Listen, Every Man Fails Before He Falls in Love. Give me a Few Seconds and I'm gonna Have Paige Eating Out The Palm of Your Hand.'

Awesome, but She Only Likes M&M's...The Crispy Blue ones...She Hates Skittles...The Other Day She Tweeted, "Me No and a Frowny Face"...So I hope Skittles isn't part of Tha Plan.

'It's not, so right now I'm gonna write down the 2 things I want you to always remember...These Principles will Make you Tha Man!'

Ok. But do you have any Peanut Butter and Jelly Cracker Sandwiches? Right now I'm in Tha Mood for some Peter Pan.

'No.'...Darn...'Principle Number One...This I told You...Women Always Want Sprinkles...So You Always Give Them Sprinkles. No Matter What. Easy Enough?!'

Yessir...'Say for Instance, Your Gurl, Paige...She's all Giggly, Her Mom is walking right behind you at Tha Mall...She asks for and wants Ice Cream, What Do You Give her?? Mr. Tough Stuff!'

I give her Chocolate...Chips???... 'No...Noo...Noooo! Listen...Do you mind if I bring an Electric Cigarette...Right now, I need a Puff.'

That's Fine...As long as You Don't Bring out Any of That Snoop Dogg Junk...My Mom will Kill me if She Smells Weed on Tha Bottom of my Overall Cuffs.

'Got a Story, so I met this Broad...(Puff!)...At a Club one night, a Real Beautiful Romanian Gurl...Cream of Tha Crop...We Kissed and Then I...'

What is that thing you just did with your tongue?? Ewwww...'Trust me Kid, it works. So after She got a Taste of My Fraggle Rock, she asked me...Well, first I asked her For some Ice Cream...Then I...'

Let me guess, she gave you sprinkles...'No...she actually let me taste her Ice Cream!'...Eh, I'm not Sure I should be Hearing all this, I'm still learning how to Add & Subtract... And you're Telling me How 2 Divide and Multiply!!

'Let's just move on...But Always Remember Women and Gurls Especially Always Luv Sprinkles...Share with a Smile and Watch Tha Birdies Fly.

Secondly, and Lastly...Females are Never right, No Matter What...(Puff! Puff!)...Don't Argue over Who Gets to Eat the Elmer's Glue First...If she wants first Dibs...Just Sniff Some Paint while She does Her Thang!'

You're Weird, Sir...'I'm Weird?!! You're with me taking a Luv Class for Kiddos...Making miss Empire's Season Premiere on Fox and I'm weird for trying 2 Get u a Lil School Crush Fling!'

Yep...'Well, watch how crazy it is when I walk out this Door!' ...(Slam!!!)...Whah??!!  I was just joking. Sir...Sir...Now What am I Supposed 2 Do I'm never Gonna Get Tha Gurl...Maybe Tha Luv Blues will Be My Song of Sing.

All Tha Other Kids on Tha Playground are Having a Good Time...But My Rousey Has Never a Stepped into My Rin...

(Huff! Huff! Huff!...Gulp!...Huff! Huff!)

What just happened? So much Fear of Confuse?

I must've feel asleep or something...Lazy Abuse.

I felt like I was This Snotty Nosed Kid...With No Amor Fuse.

Walking Around Looking For Tha Answers...Given Bogus Clues.

Who was that guy? Not Cupid...Him I did Not Choose.

Nothing he said is what I believe...His thoughts will grant me Boos.

Why do I always have these Nightmares?...They're Like Old News.

Wondering if My Name will Be on Tha Mile High Club by Tha Plane Pit Crews.

It's crazy...Yet so Weird...Like My Siamese Twins Coming in Twos.

Half Dream...Half Nightmare...Before I lay Have 2 Stop Sipping Cuckoo Stew.

Should I tell anybody about this...Feeling a Good but Also Tha Blues.

That Gurl in That Story...Was She a Future Wifey..or Just a Muse?

Luv is Always Showing me signs of Don't and Do's.

Bart said, 'Don't Have a Cow, Man!'...Then why do I Hear Tha Moo's.

Just relax, I always get what I want My Swagger is Of Tha Fighters of Foo.

U Can be Talking bout Tha Rock Band or Mike Jones...With Me it's never, 'Who'.

I'm gonna Do This Thing Right, Like Coach Wooden Mentoring Mr. Kareem...or Lew.

Making Sure That A Gal Can Say...'Tha Best I Ever Knew.'

Sorry, Bout This a Diary of Mine...Master Like Courses at Luv U.

But I See Exactly Who I Want, and Nuthin Can Stop me...No Case 2 Sue.

Forgive Me But I'm in My 'Studio' Right Now...Like ScHoolboy...Q.

This Isn't Arrogance But I've Studied Every Light of Luv...Every Single Hue.

Finally Tha Time Is Right...Funny How Time Flew.

Feeling on Probation...Like Tha Orangemen of Syra...Cuse.

Now I'm Holding anything Back...Tha Modern Day PePe Le Pew.

Words are Nice But Actions Are What Gets...Through.

I Wanna Stop but When I Think About This Gurl...A Bubbling Heart Brews.

Sexually, Physically, Spiritually...Both our souls Shall Renew.

First I'll Look in Her Eyes and See How Our Magnetism...Grew.

Rubbing Her Hair, Blowing in Her Hair How Tha Little Boy Blue...Once...Blew.

Then On Every Cervice of Her Body...Sending her 2 That Planet...To...Plu.

My Emotions are Boiling Over 2night...Feeling Like a Freakfest Zoo.

God Might be Mad at Tha Genesis of This...But it's a Revelation...Too.

See...My Life is 'Fun & Luv'...This Galaxy Stretches Further Than Peru.

This Is Tha Greatest Luv Story Ever Told...Something Tha Angels Drew.

A Superintendent on My Side...While I'm In Tha Position of Lieu.

Time 2 stop...This is Two Posts 2night...Ur Riding In Luv's Canoe.

There's No Shame in Going Overboard...

Cuz This Nightmare Has Turned Into a Dream...

Where I'm About 2 Hear Tha Three Words I've Yearned 2 Hear...

I Luv You.

Galaxia!

2 Finger Kiss From My Lips To Yours.