So There Once was A Man, Who Lived in This New York City Studio Flat.
Everything In His Life Was Weird...He Even Had A Rainbow Tattooed On His Cat!
On His Walls Were Posters of Tha Joker, Bozo and Krusty...His Version of Tha Rat Pack.
Today Felt Different Though...Unlike Tha Other Days Whose Numbers Are By Tha Stack.
He Woke Up and Read a Few Funnies in Tha Comic Section...Peanuts is First, Followed By Tha Cute Little Strip, Love is.
Looking Away From His Bowl of Fruit Loops, Wondering If One Day He'll Have Any Kids.
He Knows It'll Be Tough, Always On Tha Road...Guess That's Tha Nature Of Tha Biz.
He Was Never Normal, Not Even As a Tiny Lad...Blowing Up Balloons and Making Disney's Mouse Couple...Mr. And Ms..
All Would Gather Around At Recess, To See What's Next...A Needed Break From Tha Addition and Subtract.
In Class He Would Just Giggle For No Reason...After Tha Teacher Told Him To Shoosh, He Would Just Toss a Dry Eraser At Her Back.
He Was Tha Class "You Know What", As if Destiny Already Inked Him To A Contract.
But Something Was In Tha Air Like No Other, Tha Fullness of Joy and Laughter Was No Something He Lacked.
He Got Up From His Custom High Seat, And Walked His Apartment, Running Tha Floor Ragged Like A Hubby Anticipating Tha Birth Of His First.
He Noticed A Pack Of Cigarettes Sitting on Tha Counter, He Hadn't Smoke One Since He Was In Tha Studio One Day, And Enjoyed Every Thill of Witnessing His Favorite Group Rehearse.
Tha Insane Clown Posse Was Iike Tha Beatles to Him, So On That Day He Smoked, He Dranked...A Tad Too Much Cuz He Puked In Their Tour Manager's Purse.
She Wasn't Too Happy About it, But Later Slept With Him at a Local Motel 6 Hotel, Citing That She Has a Fetish For Costumed Men, With a Masters in A Comedy Course.
HeckuvaNight...Heckuva Toosh Too...Sometimes Wearing Big Red Shoes Can Make Women Swoon In Fantasy.
Ludacris Made a Song About That, and This Gent Calls It His 'Guaranteed Get Laid' Soundtrack, He Tried Others To No Avail, Like That Remix With ODB and Mariah Carey.
Seems So Long Ago...Now He's Puffing Away Like Tha Magic Dragon, Wondering What Truly Has Happened To Me?
Was It Something He Ate? Did Tha Leftover Cotton Candy have Some Hocus Pocus Inside? He Never gets Along With Magicians Cuz They Always Want 2 Still Tha Angles of Tha TV.
Cigarette in Hand He Popped in An Old Bozo Episode in His VCR, Hitting Tracking on Tha Remote, This Episode Was Quite Old, like 1986.
That's When He Was A Huge Mets Fan, They Won Tha Series That Year With Strawberry and Gooden Both Looking Like MVP Picks.
Back Then "Tha Donald" was Actually a Cool Guy, Oprah Was Hitting Tha Scene Getting Housewives Wound Up, Marriages Were Breaking Up Because Of Dirty Dishes and Tha Size of Some Guys...
Crack Was OOC Outta Control , and Tha New York Streets Were Filled With Hip Hop B-Boys and B-Girls...There was A Rat Problem As Well...And Mice, And Roaches and Ticks.
But Yet and Still Those Were Tha Goid Ol' Days, and As He Took Tha Last Puff, A Decision Had Been Made.
Tha Thrill Was Gone, He Felt So Outdated...Kids are all into IPads and PlayStations...They Got No Time For Fun Stuff Like Saturday's At Tha Arcade.
To See Someone Like Him, Standing with a Smile Uttering, "Hello Kiddies!", Would Be Tha Equivalent of Finding a Sane Driver in Tha County of Miami-Dade.
His Time Was Over...It Happens To Everyone His Mind Said...U Reach a Point Where U Aren't Smarter Than a Kid in Tha Fifth Grade.
So He Grabbed an Old Bag From Kay Bee Toys, and Piled Up His Former Life, One By One Dumping it Into This Plastic Thing.
His White Makeup, His Elaborate Costume, Something Jean Paul Galtier Made Especially For Him...He Was So Amazed At His Talent After He Performed for Tha Saudi King.
This Guys Life Was Special, U Better Believe...Never Asking For Money, Tha Only Repayment Being a Laugh and a Lollipop Ring.
He Always Believed That Tha Best Things in Life Are Free...He Wanted A World Where Everybody Felt Like a Kid...On an Instant Ready To Move, Dance and Sing.
His Shoes Were Next, They Almost Didn't Fit...He was a Size 16, To His Grave That He Would Sworn.
What Followed Next Was His Most Treasured Piece, Something That He Has Had Literally Since Tha Day He was Born.
Yeah, Tha Doctor Slapped Him Tha Moment He 'Popped', Always Relaying This Message To His Folks Whenever He Got a Bad Grade in Class...Blaming This And How Girls Would Flirt With Him With Candy Corn.
Yeah This Was His Baby, Tha One Thing That Would Guarantee Everybody's Attention...No Other Than His Funky Red Horn.
"Honk Honk!...Psssssst." A Sign of Tha Times When Even Ur Best Buddy Has Ran Outta Air.
No More Trains...No More Youth Fairs...No More Hecklers at Stoplights Yelling, 'Hey Dummy, Why Don't You Get a Real Career!'
This Was Hit, Time To Let Tha Bossman Know...He Grabbed His Bag Full of Goodies, Headed Down To Tha Big Office Right off of Times Square.
All Tha Big Decisions Go Down in Tha Modern Of an Office...He Missed Tha Golden Days When Tha Headquarters Was in Upstate New York...U'll Walk in, Catch a Sabers Game and Grab a Cold Beer.
Traffic Was Unusually Empty, Perhaps an Open Sign To Hang 'Em Up...He Parked, Then Hopped on Tha Metro Sub For Tha Last Time in This Manner.
There was A Man Mooning another Man By Tha Exit Door, Two Teenage Girls Re-Watching Madonna And Britney's Famous Kiss...With One Of Them Saying, 'I'll Do You if u Were a Tad More Tanner.'
He Knew Tha 90s Were in Style, but Not to This Exhaust, Cuz He Swore Sitting Accross From Him was A Young Lad Who Was an Exact Resemblance To MC Hammer.
He Looked His Way, And Tha Kiddo Gave a "2 Legit 2 Quit" Motion With His Hands, After His Made a Slicing Motion Toward His Neck, He Grabbed His Bag Tighter, Wondering if He was in a Gang...Like Tha Bronx Side Panthers.
His Stop Came, and He Rushed Out So, Even Bumping Into A Gourgeous Woman Who Had A Look Like She was Straight Out a Barney's Magazine.
She Smiled But Kept Going, If He Was "In Costume" Tha Woulda Made From Quite A YouTube Worthy Scene.
But This Was His New Life, Tha Life of Being Anonymous, Strangers Treating You Like U Put Sauce on a Well Seasoned Steak...Oh, Tha Words Can Be So Mean.
He Made it To Ground Level, and It was Now or Never...He Chose Now, And He Began To Walk With Tha Swagger of Those Old Patrick Ewing New York Knicks Teams.
A Funny Thing Happened Though, Right as He Was About to Open Tha Door, He Notices A Small Boy Outside Their Crying.
He Was Balling Out Of Control, Like That Warriors Squad From Tha Golden State, Tears Rushed Down His Freckled Face As If Someone Was Dying.
Tha Kid Looked Up, Sniffling Until Tha Mucus Could Take No More, and With His Big Eyes Spoke Ever So Softly...'Life Ain't Fun No More! I Got Nobody To Trust, So What's Tha Use In Trying.
For Christmas I Never Get What I Want...On My Birthday, Other Kids Get a Burger King Crown and A Whopper, All I Get Are An Old Pair of Pony Shoes, In Which I Ain't Even Got No Laces For Tying.'
Tha Gent Looked At His Watch, For Tha Office Will Be Closing Soon Today, Barnum and Bailey is At Madison Square Garden Tonight and That's Treated Like a National Holiday.
He Knew What He Came To Do, But This Young Kid Was at Tha End of His Rope...Ready To Give Up Before His Life Began Its Way.
So Tha Guy, Begins to reach Into His Bag...Pulls Out His 'Former Me' and Then Kicks Off His Shoes onto Tha Sidewalk Clay.
Piece By Piece He Puts His Outfit Back On...Tha Pants, Tha Suspenders, Tha Striped Shirt That He Found At Tommy Hilfiger's Store, Back When They Had a Sample Sale Day.
Tha Kid Looked on Awe as He Put His Size 16 Clumps on His Feet, He Pulled Out His Red Horn, but Something Was Missing...This He Could Taste.
Then He Realized That His Look Was Far From Complete, For He Was Him...But In This Profession Tha Power Always Lies in Tha Disguise of Tha Face.
He Grabbed His White Makeup Shadow, Red Lipstick To Complement, But No Mirror Was Around, And Without This Tha Job Would Look Like it was Completed By a Wacko Case.
Tha Kid With Joy Said..."Right There!!!" And I'll guess It'll Have To Do, So Tha Gent Went Over To Tha Passenger Window of a New Alfa Romeo...Tha Kind U'll See Kendall, Kourtney or Khloe Fight Over Who Gets 2 First Race.
After Tha Facial Scribble Job He Grabbed Three Balls, And Tossed Them Freely Up to Tha Clouds...Until They Became a Routine Juggle.
Tha Kiddo Clapped With Excitement For He's Never Seen This Before, His Whole Life Has been Filled With Disappointment, Just An All And Out Struggle.
But He Was Getting a Special Treat, Right Here in Times Square, He Was Witnessing One Of Tha Great Artists Of Our Time...And His Joy Could Not Be Tamed With Any Muzzle.
Red Ball Up...Blue Ball Mid Air...Green Ball Caught Behind His Back...A Mastery Learned From Tha Best of Tha Best...Like Watching Einstein Solve One Of Those New York Times Crossword Puzzles.
A Crowd Began To Gather But His Focus Was On Tha Young Lad...Watching His Deer Eyes as if Energy Was Being Transmitted NASA Style.
Next, He Took a Magic Wand, Put it in His Coat, And Turned it Into a Bouquet of Roses....That Trick He Stole After One Of Tha Magicians on His Tour Decided With His Ex...That They Should Get Naked and Wild.
More and More People Began to Gather...Cell Phones Were Now Being Held Up as This Street Corner Exhibition Was Being Displayed...One That Everyone Present Will Put in Their Memory File.
Tha Final Trick Was 'Viewer's Choice', So He Bent Over To Tha Lad, Asked Him What He Wanted 2 See...He Responded and Tha Guy Only Gave a Sly Smile.
So Always Wanting To Put in A Show, He Grabbed His Chin, Like Any Great Entertainer...As If He Had No Clue on What To Do Next.
He Then Shouted, "Ladies and Gentlemen For My Final Trick I Want All Around To Close Their Eyes, And Put Down Your Phones, I want Silence...No Talk or Text.
I Will Perform Tha Request of This Young Lad, and After it Is Performed Please Don't Look So Perplexed.
Tha Next Voice You Will Hear Will be This Youngster Counting To Three, At Three You Can Open Your Eyes and This Special Event Will Be Over...And U All Can Go Accross Tha Street to Get Some Rex-Mex!"
Tha Boy Began To Count With His Eyes Closed....'One!'...Tha Gent Then Grabbed His Stuff...'Two!'....And Ran Down Tha Subway Shoot...'Three!!!'
Everyone Felt Slighted Wondering What Had Happened...A 'Ha ha Ha!' Peeped Out Tha Kiddo's Mouth, While Tha Gent Walked Away With So Much Glee.
He Didn't Quit That Day, and He Later Retired Into Tha Hall of Fame, But That Day Was Tha Moment He Wanted All To See.
A Little Kid in Such Despair Was Able To Be Just That...A Kid...He Thought That is Tha Power That He No Longer Wants to Flee.
Tha Crowd Broke Up, Went Their Ways, Except This Little Girl, Who Stayed Behind To Asks Tha Lad Tha Question on Everyone's Mind...'What Was His Dream Request? His Final Jab'
Tha Boy Said it was Easy, But Two Fold...He Wanted All Tha Clowns in His Life To Disappear and How That Would Make Him So Glad.
Tha Girl Looked Befuddled And Then Slowly said...'And Tha Other?' Knowing That This Little Fellow Probably Wasn't Tha Highest Bulb On Tha Tree When it Came To Common Sense or Even Math.
Tha Boy Said I Wanted What Everybody wants in Life...To Get Exactly What They Want...And To Plain and Simply...Laugh!
From Their Tha Boy Had A New Outlook On Life, Succeeding In School, Always Thinking About That Day...Tha Day When He Cried His Heart Out, and Life Looked So Down.
He Realized That This Was a Life Changing Event, Like Tha First Time U Go To Tha Met Ball, and Are Amiss So Many Celebrities, Muses and Well Tailored Gowns.
Tha Gent Passed Away On April Fools Day of Last Year, But I Tell You What His Legend Lives On As We Speak...Just Tha Mentioning of This Story Erases Every Single Frown.
Ur Reading My Heart With This Diary, and Many Have Looked At Me Strange For My Eclectic Ways...But Never, Ever Forget..."Laughter, Fun and Luv" Are Tha Keys 2 Life...
And Never, Ever...Ever...Underestimate Tha Sexiness...
That Lies in Being...
A Clown.
No comments:
Post a Comment