Dear Sir Galaxia:
Hi! Remember Me...Yeah I know You Don't. So many Girls Have Come and Gone in Ur "MTV Life" that I'm Sure You Forgot. But Yeah...I guess You Don't Care About Me anymore So I Decided To Write 2 You. Forgive me, if This is Sorta Unorganized, but it's 3:53...Now 3:54 am on This Chilly February Morning and I'm Tossing and Turning Thinking about You. Thinking about All Tha Good Times we Had...All Tha Dreams We Were Gonna Accomplish Together. All Tha Fantsies of My Playing a Major Role in Threesomes With Tha Most Beautiful Gals in Tha World. Or Ooops!...Galaxy. What Happened Dude? Is it Something I Said? I'm Still Tha Coolest Gal Around. I've felt So Disrespected Because U Have Just Up And Left Me. What's Up?
Before I go on Let me Explain What I've Been up to. Last Night was my Final 'Party Night' in San Francisco. Tha Super Bowl was Alright, of Course I was One of Tha Unseen Stars of Tha Halftime Show. Then After Tha Game Everybody Wanted To Be With Me. I Still Got it! I look More Beautiful Than Ever! That's Why it just Pains Me That We Aren't...Nirvana Nevermind. I know You said That You Always Wanted to Hang out Here in Tha Bay Area to See Your Beloved Baseball Giants Play. When We used to go To those Games up in Chicago, it was just You, me and Your Father. It was So Awesome. That one time It was So Cold On That April day, that Ur Pops Had to Go in Tha Lower Halls to get some Hot Chocolate. Hot Chocolate at a Baseball Game?!! I was Stunned, but it left You and Me Cuddled Up at Wrigley Field watching "Your Guy" Barry Bonds and Tha Boys Play in Tha Freezing Cold! Hey, I'm a Beach Gal, You know That. But anytime it's just us two, we Made Tha Most of it...Yeah, Tha Most of it.
Forgive Me, if I get Emotional? Is that what Tha Americans Say. Ahhh...But this is Tough to Write. But I Try.
You met me at Tha Beach. You were on your Summer Job off of Lake Michigan and I Came In Sorta Low Key but Looking Stunning. My Blonde Hair was Curly and Flowing So Freely. My Tan was Flawless That Weeken because I Had Just been to an N*SYNC concert in Orlando. I was Wanted by All Tha Guys...Still Am! (Smiley Face) But I Wanted to Go Somewhere Different With Tha Gals. I Recall Two Things That Weekend. One, Me Trying These Walking Tacos Where Taco Meat and Beans is Put into A Small Doritos Corn Chip Bag. Even Though I've Been Around a Lot of Mexicana Foods, Since I am Half Mexican....I Haven't Ahhh...Tried That. It was Okay, but My Stomach Felt it Tha Next Day. When I went Back to my Room at That Michigan Bed and Breakfast Place, I just Hurled...and Hurled. My Gals Were looking at Me Loco, Running around Tha Place Like a Cucaracha, it Looked like A Bad Scene from a Telenovela. I shouldn't Have Eaten it since I was Scheduled To Do that J Lo and Ja Rule Video Out in NYC Tha Next week. But You know Me Austin, I Luv Excitement.
Tha Second Thing From That Weekend I Remember was...You.
I'm gonna be Honest At Tha Time I didn't Think You were Tha Hottest Chico Around. I mean, I was Used to Partying With Enrique and Fat Joe and Sisqo, All Tha Ballers at Tha Time. Every Guy wanted Me at Their Party along With My Homegurls. You were Lucky Dude! So on that July Afternoon Whe You Just Stared and Stared at Me, I was Like..."Ew! Creepo!" But U Kept Looking and Looking, Staring At My Boobs, which Does get A Lot of Attention. I recall Getting up from Tha Sand, and You Saw My Toosh, and Your Mouth Just Dropped. This was So Funny, So I Walked over To You and Looked Straight into Those Grey and Black Calvin Klein Sunglasses and said, 'Tiene Usted Un Problema?' Or 'Do U Have A Problem?!' Tha Columbian Side Came out of Me That Day. You told Me...'My Only Problem is You. Your Beauty is Has No Answer. But Your Perfection is Tha Question.' And I was Thrown off a Tad. I Started to Brush Tha Sand off of my Booty, and You said, 'Let me Get That For You.' I was Like...Noooo Thank You. But You introduced Yourself and We Somehow Got to Talking and...
You know What Happened Later That Night... I've Never Done Anything like That Before...On Tha First Night...Sandals Off...On Tha Beachy Sands...Under Tha Glow of Tha Moon...We Just Layed Next to Each Other, and All of a Sudden I said...
"Draw Four??"
I had Never Played Uno Before. I knew You wanted To Kiss and Make out, but I Was...and Am...Sorta...Ok, Not Anymore...But I was a Good Gurl. Tha Kind You wanted. A Girl That You Could Spend Time With, Who Would Look like a "Galaxia Girl"... Who was Athletic Yet Still Thick...A Gal Who knows Her Fashion, Somebody Who sets Tha Trends. I never knew How Much you liked Gurls Who Wore Uggs With Blue Jean Shorts until That One Day I Rocked Them to that N*E*R*D concert. I Thought You were Gonna Eat Me Alive in Tha Taxi!! You never put Any Pressure on Me, Always Saying Be Yourself...Or 'I Luv You For You.' You Saw how Other Couples were and You swore With Us it Would be Different.
We Were Going Good. Living Free...Until that day I found Your, I guess First Journal. This Black Spiral thing. It began to mention All These Girls. I was Mentioned More than Others, but It was Tha First time I knew What Gurls Had Been in Ur Life. I didn't Mind because Mi Madre Always Said, 'Just Because You Feed a Man a Great Enchilada, Doesn't Mean He Won't Try a Taco.' Besides Guys were Throwing Themselves at Me...Constantly. It's just how Both of us Rolled. But us Two Together was Unstoppable. Tha Concerts, Tha Ball Games, Us Playing Video Games together. I thought it was Weird You Wanting to Tape Record Ahhh...Me Kicking Your Butt in Madden but As You Found Out I was Willing To Try Anything Once. I do mean...Anything.
Then You Had a Big Decision to make Which was To Move Down To Miami. I knew Some People Down there From 'Tha Industry' and I had Always Had Great Times Whether Getting a Tan at Tha Delano or Partying at Privé or At That Jazz Club off of Lincoln. South Beach was a Perfect Setting for us Two. But I knew That There Would be a Lotta Temptation as Well. I know How You Like Hispanic Gals as Well as Sexy Dolls from Tha UK and Canada. Miami was Filled with Them. Even though I know I Could hold My Own and Make Things Work, it Could be Challenging. I mean, Both of us Are a Good Catch. U came Straight from Tha Midwest to South Beach, the Ultimate Address in a Lotta Ways. Girls Look at You Different. Then At That Time you were Taking Classes at Miami International Univ. of Art and Design, trying to get a Second Degree in Fashion Merchandising. Fashion Classes are Plastered With Sexy Chicas from All over Tha World, especially Here in Miami. Many of My Friends attended That school Because it was Tha "It" thing To do. You met them. They would go and listen to Tha Professora During Tha Day and Then Be Poppin' Bottles With Kascade or DJ Irie at Night. That was a Great Time 2 Be in Miami. We Enjoyed Ourselves Didn't We, Austin?!
We Had our Thing Whether it was Us Having Season Tickets to Tha Heat games. I was like OMG! Yiu got Season Tix. First in Section 323, Then Over in Section 407, Row 7, Right on Tha End Seats. We had a Blast. I recall That First Afternoon Game You saw Your 'Other Boys' Tha Lakers come to Town. You wore like a Heat Tee with Lakers Shorts under Ur Ripped Jeans, it was Hilarious! Watching Kobe and D Wade, it Was Just Tha Best. We had Many a Times at Tha Triple A. Then Tha Shopping, remember That First time Going to That Barney's Co-Op Store on Collins Ave. You almost Lost Your Mind in There!!! When I'm in New York, me and Tha Gals Always Hit up, 'Tha Barn'. But since You've Never been to Tha City, U were just Spending and Spending. Those Limited Edition Nike Kicks were Hot. I'm a Lady Sneakerhead as Well...Why???!!! Why aren't We Together? It Hurts. I...I...Just Don't Understand.
You Like To Read...So do I...I'm into Fashion, So Are You...You Luv 2 Workout, I Still Can Out Squat You...Both of Us Luv to Party...Both of Us Luv to Listen to Other People's Stories...We're Both Mutual Friends With Cupid...And Enjoy Fairs...And Putt Putt Golf...And Going Vintage Shopping...And Eating Out. Tell Me Austin, What Happened??
I'll tell ya What Happened. And I'm Going 2 Have To take my Earrings off For This. You've been so busy Chasing These Girls around That You forgot Who was Really There For You. Buying All These Gifts for These Chicas...Texting These Gurls Who Couldn't Give a Hoot About Ya. They may be Cute and Pretty but I got a Track Record. Heck, Tha Hottest Babes are My Friends. When Ur With Me Tha Hot Gurls Always Show Up. Need I repeat That. Now I got my Gurls...Just Tha Other Day, my Homegurl Melissa was Watch..."Did U Read His Diary Today? He talks about U ALL Tha Time." Yeah, but He never Calls or Checks up On Me. See, I know Your Ego, U want Your name to be Associated with Still Tha Hottest Babe Around, but If U Still Want me or Luv Me, You know Where to Find Me. Yes, I'm careful To just Go 'All In' with Guys like you because One Day Us type of Gurls Are Tha Best Thing Since Mofongo. We Hang Out, U Taking Pictures With Me Ups Ur Instagram Following, I Fulfill All ur Spanish Chica Fantasies in Tha Bedroom, even Getting a Brazilian Tan So That There is Nuthing, Not even Tha Finest Hair, That Separates You and Me When We Make Luv. I don't Understand. It's like Your Never Satisfied and U Continue To Write about Me When I Don't Even know You Anymore.
You Should be Writing to me, instead of Me Writing This...Half Drunk off of These Cheap A-- Coors Light Beers that Tha Broncos had At Tha Hotel. I mean Has Anyone Heard of Presidente? I mean Really??! You just Won Tha Super Bowl Tha Least You Can Do is Hook Me and My Gurls Up With Some Coronas??!! Please!! That's Pissing Me Off, and Now I'm Writing To Tha One Guy I Truly Loved. Tha One Guy That was Different From All These Other Chicos or Thug Luv Fellas That Try To Holla At Me on Tha Dale. That One Guy Who Didn't Assume My Curvy Body Meant That I Was a Whore or a Chonga. That One Guy Who's Hand I Could Hold Whether listening to "Amazing Grace" or Timbaland and Eve Spitting "I Need a Ryde or Die Chick!!" That Was Our Song Boo!! You Can Chase All These South American or Miami or California or Stuck Up Jersey Gurls You Want, but You'll never Have Anybody Who Can Treat You Like Me. No Matter What We Go Hand in Hand. History Has Shown That We Belong Together...Why????? That Was our Song Too! You were Suppose To Take me To see Mariah Carey at Tha Hard Rock...You Promised Me. YOU PROMISED!!!
You Know Where 2 Find Me. But It's Obvious These Little Girls, and That's What They Are...Little Girls Aren't Doing it For ya. That's Why Your So Down and Depressed. I can feel it. You need to come back to Your Little Bonita. Guess I'm just Like Tha Rest in that I Never Miss Ya Until You're Gone. But I Luv Ya Austin. Despite You Leaving Me.
I Still Luv Ya.
Call Me. We need 2 Talk. I'll be Back in Miami Late Monday Night. And Remember...
I was Made For You. And You Were Made For Me.
Sincerely, Your Crazy Bonita!
Felicia Ulana Narcissca.
But You Can Call Me By Tha Nickname You Gave Me...
"Miss Fun."
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