Marathon Daddy.

I usually Don't Write While I'm Eating...Chomping Down on a Late Night Post Workout Meal of Chicken With Black Beans and Brown Rice.

But I just can't Hold this in Any Longer...And I'm Gonna Write This Without Any Filter and Without Thinking Twice.

There is So much Surrounding My Orbit Right Now...Fame...Doubt...Is This Even Worth it Anymore?...Should We Go Blond or Brunette? Or Dabble in Some Asian Spice.

Everyday I Felt Like..."Let's just get This Over With."...Looking at Tha Clock 8am on Monday Morning...Wishing it was 10 O'Clock Friday Night...Dreaming of Eating Tha Entire Pie...So Tired of Being Sold By Tha Slice.

Now listen, this is Gonna Get Really Raw 2nite...I'm in This Ultra Rare Position of Being on Tha Cusp of Ultra Celebrity...And Perhaps on Tha Thin line of A Mental Breakdown...So I'm gonna Tell it like it is.

So Where Do I Begin?...

In my Fridge Now, I Have Two Jars of Mt. Olive Sweet Relish...With No Sugar Added Of Course...Getting a Pimple Would Probably Be Tha Last Straw To Push Me over Tha Edge!

This Week I Had a Taste For Some Pickle Flavor...So I Tried 2 Twist Each of Tha Jar Tops Open...2 No Avail...Thinking I need 2 Get a Hammer Of Sledge.

Tried With All My Might...With My Hands, With Paper and Cloth Towels...Perhaps Zap or Nitro From Tha Ol' American Gladiators Shows Could Get it...Honestly I Think Nuthing Can Make This Top Hedge.

As I was Squinting and Trying 2 Maximize Me Strength...All I Could Do is Make an "O-Face", in a Relief Yet Disgust...Thinking How Symbolic These Attempts Were...Like An Evil Joke Was Being Played on Me...By My Late Homie Heath Ledge.

No Matter How Hard U Try...It was Like U Can't Get What U Want...I Sat Down in My Chair Thinking About Tha Effort in Every Try.

This Entire Week has Been Super Weird U Know...For Tha First Time I Felt Pressure...I Felt "Old"...I Felt Like a Mickey D's Who Has Sold its Final Fry.

Felt So Alone, U know...Like Nobody Is With Me on This Journey...I believe That Life is Fun and A Beach...But Dark Clouds Hovered Over Me...With Sesame Street 'Sunny Days' Saying "Bye-Bye."

Tha Closer U get 2 Where U Wanna Be, Tha More Obstacles Seem 2 Multiply...So u Question Why Am I Going Through This? I Just Want a Fun and Simple Life...2 Be Honest Tha Frustration Makes U Wanna Cry.

Cuz...U Feel like You're One of Tha Best...Some People See That...But it's Those Who Don't, in Which U Wanna Shove Ur Future Success in Their Face.

Just To be like...'U Didn't Want 2 Hire Me? Ok.' Or 'U Tell me U Couldn't Even Have Lunch With a Fun Dude Like Me? I'll Show You.' U want it So Bad, Especially When Ur Tongue Feels Tha Taste.

Then When Things Are Happening 2 You, U Feel like Nobody Can Relate...All Ur Buddies are in Relationships With Wives and Kids...Have Jobs...I'm living A Kid's Life Flipping a Coin Between Smart Minds or A Thick Waist.

U Question God like..."When Will This All End? Haven't I Gone Through Enough of This?" ...Wishing U Had a Road Runner Life...But Feeling like Ur Stuck being Wile E. Coyote...Always in Pursuit With a Never Ending Chase.

When u Pursue Ur Goals and Dreams, There are Obviously Gonna be Obstacles...But After Seasons upon Seasons in Tha Lab, U Wonder if Tha Sacrifices and Belief Will Actually Pay off.

Some Areas of My Life are Mad Cool...Dream like...While Other Areas I feel like Life Is Giving Me a Royal Vaseline  Screw Job and My Pants are Down While Tha only Thing Being Told 2 Me is...'Please Turn Ur Head and Cough!'

I Hate even Writing This Cuz It's Ever So Emotional, and I'm putting Myself out Here As if I'm a Loser or Getting Depressed or A Tragedy Unfolding With No Happy Ending as My Soul Drops From Tha 'Anything is Possible' Loft.

But my Goal was 2 Capture a Star Has He Goes into A Rare Galaxy...So I must Write Tha Good With Tha Pseudo Bad...Everybody Loves being a Butterfly but Nobody Talks About Tha Stages of a Caterpillar Inching His Life in a Way Seeming Sloth.

I'm Cool With My Luv Life...Then again I'm ABSOLUTELY Not...Questions to Why These Dames Have 

Come into my Life...And Why 7th Graders are in 'Teenage Luv' While I'm Going Down Cupid's "To Never Do" List Day after Day.

Like I Keep Saying, I'm not Lusting or Thirsty after Gurls or Sex, or a Relationship...It's just that My Heart has Been Disappointed and Smashed So much, That I Wonder if My Vegas Odds Would be Better if I was Gay?!

I've had a Smart Spot Since a Small Kiddo of Luv Stories...Luv Songz...How Couples Met...And I just Can't Figure out How Someone So Unique and Open Has Been in Luv's Jail for So Long...With Cupid offering No Parole or a Bail 2 Pay.

9 outta 10 Gurls Like Me...Really Looove Me...They Know That I'm All About Fun Times...Whether Dancing or a Nice Joke or Convo...But Time after Time I'm Running into that "One" Who is Caked Up With Her Man...Who Doesn't See Tha Fun Opprotunity in Front of Her...Or is Just Too Conceited in Her Ways.

After Going Through So Many Experiences And For So Long, it's just Like What Type of Gurls or Luv Can Warrant All That I've Been Through? Cuz it Doesn't Make Sense.

I see Folks Walking and Holding Hands, and I Wonder How Did They Meet? For Five Seconds How Did They Get Another Person 2 Be With Them With An Atmosphere Minus Tense.

While Despite People Telling me I'm Cool...or Even 'Hot'...I have 2 Go Through Tha Corporate and Ratchet Run of Tha Mills of Ladies Who Are Scared To Hop over Luv's Fence.

It's like They Would Literally Rather be Stuck in Weeds and Uncut Grass With Killer Brazilian Mosquitos, Than 2 Have a Life Of Laughs, Luxury and True Happiness...They Looking for a Superman, but In Reality I am...I Just Choose 2 Have Tha Humble Swag and Look of Clark Kent.

Lately I feel like I'm not Even in Tha Right Position or Right Places to Get Tha Gal or Even Lifestyle I Desire.

I'm an Energy Guy...Try 2 Be Positive because I know That One Person can Change Tha World...But it can feel So Alone...Like a Diamond Stuck in a Garbage Can...And Since it's Chilly, Folks Have been Setting Tha Can on Fire.

You feel like You've Run Outta Options...That You don't Have a Too many "MVP" Seasons of Excellence Left and That Pouring Ur All into This Game of Life Has Left U Bitter and Tired.

Thinking Others Have it Good Not 2 Go Through This...That Following Ur Heart, Soul and DoG Backwards...Has U Thinking Ur Tha Charles Barkley or Tony Gonzalez of Life...Great Careers...But Never Cutting that Championship Parade Ticker Tape Wire.

So as We are 8 Minutes Before Midnight on This Friday Night,  I Gotta Think of Something...Tha Great Ones Never Quit...But I need A Severe Adjust.

My Clothes Suddenly Look 'Ew!' Guess Cuz They Represent a Period of Rejection...Many have Tags on Them...Tha Armani, Tha Diesel, Tha Hugo Boss, If they are Holding me Back, Then Getting Rid of Them I must.

Half Tha Time, I Don't Even look at Brand Names like I used To...I'll Return Tom Ford or Versace if I Want like Someone Returning a Pair of Hanes Socks...Isn't what Motivates Me Anymore...I'm Yearning For This 'Luv and Fun' Pizza Pie...Tha Money and Things are just Tha Crust.

I Think Tha Thing That is Tough, but What I must Do is 2 Remain in 'Ready Mode' At All Times...Be Ready 2 Hop Right into This Super Bowl...Mental Toughness is Tha Key For Fighting off Any Rust.

We All Have Things Happen 2 Us that Can Lead U 2 Question if Life is Fair or If Trying 2 Do Things Tha Right Way...Eventually Going 2 Pay Off in Tha Long Run.

U Understand That it's a Marathon But U've Been Jogging For So Long That You Can No Longer Decipher Tha Difference Between Tha Magic City Moon and Tha South Beach Sun.

On This Path it Seems like Others Have Supporters Holding Up Signs, Passing Them Water in Tha Heat...All Acts Showing They Have Love Ones.

Ur Sorta Feeling E.T. running This Race...With Tha only Screams You Hear Come From Within...That Small, Still Voice That Says...'Keep Going! Keep Pushing! You're Almost Done!'

Tha Sweat Is Dripping From Your Forehead As With Your Soul, As You are Thinking Of What it Took Just To Be in Tip Top Shape 2 Run This Race.

All Those Nights Running in Tha Storming Rain...All Those Nights U Chose Rest over Party...Wanting 2 Leave No Stone Unturned...Unlocking Every File in This Success Briefcase.

Meditating Day and Night...Eating Foods That Give U Tha Nutrients of Endurance, Energy...Every Moment Doing Something...For Not One Second Did U Waste.

Now Here U Are, Trying 2 Push On When All Hope Seems But Lost...When it Seems Like They've Won, They Got Tha Last Laugh...That ur just a Kid Who Doesn't Have Enough 'Playa Lines', Enough 'Fakeness'...Enough Pull To Make a Gal go From Shorts and UGG Boots to Frederick's of Hollywood Lace.

But As U Get Closer U begin To See Tha Names and Faces...How They Never Gave u A Chance...How This Person Picked Them Over You...How They ignored a Innocent Text Cuz They were Busy or Thought u Too Not Important Enough.

Ur Legs Gather Speed as Their Faces Become More Clear...As Tha Rejection Letters Via Mail are in More Focus...Ur Soul Starts 2 Soar Like Those Gurls of Powerpuff.

U know Ur Tha Best...But They've Never Given U A Shot 2 Prove it...Feeling Like a Homer Simpson Attending Tha Ultimate Party Yet Nobody Is Willing 2 Pour U A Red Cup Of Duff.

How Can They Not See "It"? How Can They Walk Away Without Even Saying, 'Bye'...Ur Being Left 2 Complete This Marathon Alone...And Just like Miami itself, When it began It was a Battle of Who's Cute...Now it's a Turn into a Battle of Who's Tough.

There's a Clock Running in Ur Head Saying, 'This is It'...Repeating Phrases From Tha King of Pop isn't Nuthing New, For Everything U've Been Through Recently Has Made U Wanna 'Scream'.

U Continue 2 Run and U See This Extremely Cute, Long Legged Gurl Standing on Tha Side...She's Smiling At You, But Once Again it's a Case of Bad Timing...Even Though She Could Be a Number One Pick on Ur Team.

U Push Just a Tad More Farther As You Go Back Even Further Into Ur Den of Motivation...Thinking about Ford Models not Wanting You or How That One Gurl Thought You Only wanted Her 'Blowpops' and Ice Cream.

Tears Streak Down Ur Face, Making Luv With Tha Sweat Dripping as Well...Because You've Felt Like Tha Only Way People Will Notice You is For u 2 Be a "10"...Like Nadia Comaneci...On Tha Balance Beam.

Now Though U Hear Tha Cheers Get Louder and Louder, Signifying Tha Tha Moment is Getting Closer and Soon Everyone Will See Tha Work That U Put in...When Nobody was Around.

Tha Willingness To Experience 'No' after 'No'...When Tha Ultimate Circus Was Passing Through Town, and They Missed Out on Perhaps History's Most Fun and Unique Clown.

That Sincere Soul Search Test of Going 2 Tha Deep End of Luv's Pool...Everybody Else Chose Tha Shallow Side...But U Believe There's Now Greater Confidence Boost than Time and Time Again Coming Face 2 Face With Tha Likely Possibility of a Sadful Drown.

But Here You are in This Marathon Race...Going One Step at a Time...Now U Begin To Smile Because in Your Mind, You Felt Like U Ran Tha Opposite of a Frown.

And...Time!!! U Did it! You Crossed Tha Finish Line...But No One is There But U and Tha Timekeeper...Everybody Else is Done...I Guess it was Only in Your Mind That U Finished Fast.

So U Grab Tha Final Body Armor in Tha Bucket, Lay Down on Tha Curb...This Miami Heat Can Get 2 Anybody...Ur Sorta Breathing Hard, But It Doesn't Seem To Matter If You Are or Aren't Truly Out of Gas.

U Felt Like U Put on a Show, But Nobody Saw u Finish...But Tha Timekeeper Slowly Walked Over and Said, 'I Saw All That You Put Into This Race. One Day, You're Gonna Be a Big Star! And You're Gonna Do Things Nobody Else Ever Has!'

You Give a Sly Smile and Then He Speaks Something You'll Never Forget...He Says...'Tha First Ones 2 Accomplish Something Aren't Necessarily Tha Finest...But For Many...Tha Best is Saved For Last!'

So With That Excitement, You Get Up...Understanding That History Will Remember You, and Tha Fun U Shall Receive Will Overtake All Those Nights of Looks Reflecting Those Who are Somber.

And Now I'm Ready 2 Begin anew, Knowing That This Marathon Has Taught Me Never 2 Give Up, Never 2 Give In...Not 2 Worry if Tha Luv People Have For U Begins 2 Tetter Totter.

That Man Changed My Life...For He Was Tha Original Clock Man...They Even Invented Tha 'Keeper' Position After Him...I wanted 2 Ask Him For A Photo just Something 2 Mark Tha Moment...But He Keeps Tha Same Face So Why Bother?!

Yep! This Night Changed My Life, Because There Is Nobody That Can Give You More Motivation Than This Man To Keep Going Because I am With You...

Yep. Time is In My Side. And I'm Lucky 2 Now Be His Friend...

With Only a Select Lucky Few Calling Him By His First Name...

In Which I'm Proud 2 Call Him...

Father.