Tha Name is Jack Tripper. Right up Tha Elevator to Tha top Floor. Bless ur Heart Sweet Cakes. Yeah, I never use My Real name, even In Fancy Joints such as These. One Time I had a "Fling" with This Long-Legged Co-Ed from UCLA. She expected Me to Take Her To Some Fancy Spancy Spot Where Tha Tom Cruise's and Tha Vin Diesel's all Stay to Getaway. Not!!! Not Tha Cosmo, My Friend. I took Miss Little Psych Class 101 straight To this Per Hour Motel right behind This Mexican Taco joint off of Normandie Ave.. At First, she was All scared, u know How Pritzy These Young Girls Get. "OMG! There's No AC?!!"..."OMG! It's Tile Floor!"..."OMG! Is That a Roach?!" I truly felt like I was Back At Rehearsal With Those Usher and Will.I.Am Chaps with How Many times she said, "OMG!" There's Tha Elevator. How You Doing Beautiful? Even Tha Cleaning Ladies around Here are Hot. Hopefully She gives Me Tha "Housekeeping" with Tha Three Knocks Tonight!
(Bing!)
And Where Going to Tha Top Floor. Viva Las Vegas...Viva Las Vegas...
(Door Closes)
So Yeah, Me and Josie Bruin Were Up in This Motel. She had a Small Backpack, like One of Those JanSport Things. She was Dirty Hot but She needs To upgrade Her Swag. At least Marc Jacobs or Depending on Tha Doability of Tha Gurl, I can take a Betsey Johnson Bag, but JanSport??Makes Me Feel like I'm Sleeping With a Middle School Lad. I Cut on Tha TV to Check out Tha Score of Tha Dodgers Game. While She keeps on Unpacking all this Stuff on Tha Bed. Hello Kitty Notebooks...Folders with Pictures of Channing Tatum on Them. Pencil Bags with pictures of Some Princess and it looked Like a Talking Snowman and Moose Chillin' on Tha Outside. I don't Know. It was Some Disney Thingy. So After watching Kershaw Give up A Grand Slam to A-Rod...Of All People. I Turned Tha Knob off on Tha TV. And Took of My Shirt and Said, 'Let's Do What We Came Here To Do.'
(Bing!)
Gal Downstairs said, Turn Right...Ok. Oops! Almost Dropped My IPad. So she Takes Tip-Toes onto Tha Bed. And I'm like, "I know Tha Sheets Aren't Egyptian...Heck, I don't Even Think They Are Kardashian...But in a Few Moments I'm Gonna Make U Feel"...Another Hallway??? Which way Do I Go Now...Lets just go Left...."But in a Few Moments, After I get through With You, You're Gonna Feel like Cleopatra." She Took of Her Shirt, Exposing A Semi-Botched Boob Job. These Chicks Need to Go to Unlisted Professionals and Leave Groupon Alone! Yet, I'm not one To Judge. I began to Kiss on Her Neck, Grabbing Her Side, Making My Way Down...Further and Further and Further...Until She was Like 'Stop! Stop! I Can't Do This.' She Gets Up off Tha Bed Bare Breasted and Goes into How She Can't Fall in Luv with Me, How She Promised Not to get Into Another Relationship Until a Year after Her Breakup...Then She Goes Into Dating Older Guys and How I'm Gonna Break Her Heart. Through this Entire Spill, I couldn't Help but Laugh. She asked, 'Why Are U Laughing?' I told her Cuz, "Your Plastic Surgeon Sucks Lemons! I Guess Every Doctor Doesn't Graduate at Tha Top of Their Class!" Miss Degrassi got Mad at That. So she Buttoned up Her Abercrombie Blouse, Put Her Gap jeans back on, and Said 'Let's Go!' Usually I would Kick This Freshman To Tha Curb, but Then Her Mom Wouldn't Like That at All. By Tha Way, Her Mom is an Also an Ex...Yep. That's How Tha Cos Gets Down!!
Ok. There's Tha Door to Tha Hotel Room. Let me just get My Key...
(Too-too-Too...Too-Too...Too...Too...Too...Too...Too-Too-Too...How Do U Want It...How Does it Feel...Growing Up as A (Zzzzz!)...In Tha Cash Game...Living in Tha Fast Lane...I'm For Real! How Do U Want It...How Do U...)
Who is Calling Me Right Now! Hello...I'm Right About Open Tha Door To Tha Penthouse. He Did. Ok. Give Me Five Minutes and I'll Check it Ou...Whatcha Mean, Now?! I'm right At Tha Door. I know This Vegas Thing is Sponsored By You....I Know You've Hired Me...U Got a Tracker on Me?! Ok! Ok! I'll read it Now. Whatever Bye. Guess I'll Sit My Bags Down. Can't Find my Key anyway. My "Sponsor" just said This Galaxia Guy just Dropped another Post. I usually Get an Alert Email on my Phone, that's Weird. I gotta Sit outside In This Hotel Hallway and Read This Propaganda. Ok. Let's (Yawn!)...Long Day. Let's See What Tha Hoopla is All About. And Click.
Love. Huh. Is it Even True Anymore?
Is Tha Only Way 2 Find it is To Own a World Tour?
Thought as a Kid Luv was Something Special, Something More.
More Than Seedy Hotels, With Heart Shaped Beds, and Zebra Rugged Floors.
Hey, I resent That. Those Happen to be Tha Finest Places to Take a Broad. This guy has No Clue. Why am I Even Reading This. (Beep! Beep!) A Text that Says: "U Bet a Read It." What Tha...Is This like Candid Camera? Guess I "Bet A" read on...
Luv is More Than just a Sexy Bod and Heavenly Face.
It's That Feeling U Get, like When u First Eat Glue or Paste.
It Feels So Weird...Whether it's Elmer's or Made at some Off-Brand Place.
It's Different, Which Makes u want More of it...Like Sherlock solving His First Case.
Actually Watson was Tha one Who Made Sherlock...Sherlock. One of Tha Most Underrated Characters of All-Time.
Luv is Cuddling In Bed. With Just Tha Cover over Ur Toes.
Popcorn in Tha Middle, Or Even Some Chinese Take-Out...I Suppose.
Tha Nerves U Get Right Before Tha One Knee in Tha Movie Call...I Propose.
Tha Smirk that Crosses Ur Face As She Sleeps...Amazement at How Her Face Glows.
L-O-V-E Can Found Anywhere, Even A Strip Clup...Just like T-Pain.
Or At That Local Bookstore, Where U Approach With, "What's Ur Name?"
Cafès are Nice As Well...A Great Line is...'Here's My Number 2 Match Ur Latte.'
As Well as Heat Games...Why U Can Bend Tha Truth..."Did U Know I Also Work With D. Wade?!"
Love For Guys Is Tha Best...Even Though They'll Never Speak it Out Loud.
They want Their Playboy Years Never to end...Never want Their 'Playa' Jersey in Tha Clouds.
Thinking it's All Gonna End...Tha Sexts From Instagram Gals, Who Send Alluring Pics Wearing only Towels.
Tha Nights Hitting Tha Club Til 4am in Tha Morning...Pulling up in Ur Lambo, Attracting Tha Hot Groupie Crowds.
Love Can Be Scary...I'm Too Young...Not Now...I Haven't Sowed My Oats.
Gals Can Be Timid As Well...Not Wanting 2 Lose Her Body in Pregnancy, Tha One on Facebook She Always Boast.
Not Wanting To Be Like Her Mother, Sitting Home Alone, While Pops is Out Making Another Champagne Toast.
Wondering If She Could Have a Relationship So Real...Living in Snoop's Hood...While He's on Pitbull's Coast.
Love, Though Makes U Takes Risks, Just Like at a Vegas Slotball Machine.
Finally, this Guy is Talking My Language. Tha Vegas Life! I felt Like I was Reading a Old State of Tha Union Address from Lincoln.
Do Whatever It Takes To Make Them Happy, Sharing Dead Presidents Who's Color is Green.
Ditching a Taxi for a Luxury Uber...Cuz U Want Ur Honey to Look Sexy as She Steps on Tha Scene.
Leaving Tha Super Bowl Party Early To Go Back Home, Cuz Tha Playoffs Seem Empty Without Her Favorite Team.
Tha "L" Thing is More Than Texts, Calls, or Striptease Sessions That'll Even make Demi Moore Blush.
It's When Time Literally Stands Still...Every Kiss is Unscripted, As is Every Touch.
Tha Emotion That Goes Through Walls, Leaving Ur Neighbors Wondering, 'What's All That Fuss?'
Tha Difference Between Making Love...And Just Having a Good Fuc..Man, I Almost Cussed!!
Love Has What I've been Chasing...Like Bonds and Ruth...Kobe and Jordan...Or on Tha Show Martin...Cole and Pam.
Who's Gonna Be Tha Gal To Have it All? A Life So Fun, That She Makes All Her Girlfriends Examine Their Man.
Tha Laughs, Tha Giggles, Tha Small Gifts That Say, "I'm Your Number One Fan."
Looking Beyond Stretch Marks, or A Mole on Ur Back...Admiring Her Beauty Right After Her Workout...Sweaty Minus Tha Spray Tan.
Luv Is Different With Me, This Experience is a Dream Come True.
Because I Have Gone Through All Tha Pain...To Keep It All From...You.
Tha Heartbreaks, Tha Heartaches...The Rejections From People Who Had No Clue.
Enduring Nights Hugging My Pillow Alone...So In Tha Future We Are One With Tha Power of...Two.
So I've been Prepared and I'm an Open Book, Hoping That One Beauty Will One Day Read.
Luv and Fun Has Been My Publishing House...Even Though I Had Other Offers From Tha Folks at Greed.
Love. Yeah. Soon We All Will See Whom Tha Heavens Have Chosen To Join My Fun House...Ask Cupid, My Realtor...He'll Tell You...There's no Better Deed.
Love is Worth it All...Today My Flower Blooms...But Only After Tha Rain, and Planting of...
(Aaa...Whew! Aaa...Whew! Aaa-Whew!)
"Excuse Me Sir...Sir...Wake Up Sir!!"
Yes, Yes! I Dosed Off Doing Some Work.
"Ah, Yes I see. But I Came Up to Give You your Room Key. Our Aplolgies our Staff Downstairs is New. But Here You are. But First, I just Need to Ask you one Thing."
Ooo...Kay.
"Yes. What is Your Name, Sir?"
Tha Name is Cosmopolitan. But You Can Call Me...Jack Tripper.
No comments:
Post a Comment