Ok...Right Now Our Life is in Full 'South Beach Mode'...Pure Fun In Tha Sun.
Living Each day not in 'If's'...But That We've Already Won.
Today though Tha Aim is not on Us...It's Pointed Somewhere Else with This Literature Gun.
Just Gonna Write From Our Soul...Whatever Happens, Happens...So Grab Ur Burgers and Buns.
So Here we go again With This Luv & Dating Thang...A Voice is Telling Me 2 Simply Write.
It's So Different Talking About How Ur Gonna Treat 1st Class, When U've yet 2 Take Flight.
Somebody needs 2 Keep It 100 though...And stop believing That Life are just Defeats and Fright.
And that Tha Luv gods always skip over 'Us'...Not just Once but Every...Single...Night.
Me and Cupid have Had our Run-in's over Tha years...Many I shouldn't Even Share.
Like I have 2 Lock us 2 in a room with Tha Lights off, to See if he Really Even Cares.
I'll Approach Homeboy in Tha Back Alley Outside Tha Club asking, 'Didn't U See Me In There?!!'
Telling Him of a Beauty that was So Hot on Tha Dance Floor, but He Was at Tha Bar Getting Beer.
Me and him are Cool Sorta, But Lately....
(Ding-Ding...Da...Ding-Ding-Ding...Ding-Ding...Da...)
Hold Up, This is Him Calling Me Right Now...Yo! What Up Big C!
What?!! Man, I Shouldn't Even Be Talking 2 You Cuz of How U Dissed Me.
U know I like Gurls in Blue Dresses, and This Week U Gave Me Two That Were Just A Tease.
Huh?!!...U were Stuck in Traffic?!! Dude u Were With Angel Last night Tha One that Works For Vicki.
What am I Doing Right Now...Just a little Jotting Talking Bout Our Life...U know, Life in Tha Stars.
U said U Wanna Hit up Tha Beach...Bro, I know it's gonna be wild...Last Nite I saw Tha Police Cars.
With This Being Tha Last Weekend Before School, Chicks are Gonna Be Twerking on top of All Tha Stool Bars!
I gotta get this Done, I Haven't Wrote All Week, Besides I need a Break...I need a Vacation...I Heard They Got Good Roundtrip Deals From a Earth 2 Mars!!
WHAT??!!!!! I could Never...Nope...Not a Chance...I luv...Or Used 2 Luv u But...I don't know.
You of All People Want 2 write in My Diary...Is this In Tha Name of Luv or For Ur Upcoming Reality Show?!
How I know about that? Them Twins From Russia Told me about it...Dude just Because they are Leggy and Beautiful Doesn't Mean u Should tell them all U Know!!
Huh?....HA HA HA!!! I know Bro!...When u Put on that 'Truffle Butter' Song and they go into that Dallas Cowboys Cheerleader Routine where They Bend Over and...Yeah Buddy, I Luv Chicks from Mos...Co.
But Tha Answer is still, 'No!' Listen People Read this Diary all over Tha Globe and Galaxy.
I tell u Things that I don't Even write About...Gurl Episodes that are Worth Millions on TMZ.
U Said What, I didn't Hear You...I know...I know..Nobody Knows More about Luv Than Big C.
Remember those times in Our 1st Online Diary...People still read about our Escapades...That Diary should've Already been made into a Hollywood Movie.
Let Me Think...Ok...if I let U Write, then What are U Gonna Do For Me?
Dude, Ur so Funny 2day...U say U can give me Both Brittany from Tha Chippettes and Babs Bunny?!!
I See that U have Been Looking at My Instagram...U know my Weak Spot are Gurls who are Cool, Kuv 2 Dance and Who are Funny!
This is Something else I probably won't ever Do again...Think I need 2 charge u some Acme Money.
Fine! I'll let U do it...Tell Both Brit and Babs To Look Hot 2nite...Heels, a Little Showing of Tha Thigh, and Where Nerdy Glasses just like that Ugly Betty Chick.
Huh? Yes, Tha 'No Tan Lines' rule is in Full Effect tonight...We're just Goona have Fun...Ride Top Down...Perhaps Later Tops will come Down...U know Every Experience With Me is Sick!
Say that Again, Where are You at? U fade in and out...Say that again?...U said I won't be Disappointed cuz Brittany has been Hitting Tha Gym Hard and Now she looks even Hotter Thick.
Somebody did tell me that...Same for Babs...That like After her Breakup with Buster She's been a Workout Fiend...Bragging on #NoBoobJob or #NoBootyShots...2nite I got every guys Top Picks.
Just Email Me when u Get Done Writing...(Zip!)...Whoa! Dude that was Fast! This was Ur Plan All Along.
Ok. I'll Copy and Put it in My Diary...Huh???...I know, Word for Word, I will...Hey just Remind Ur Homegurls...2nite No Briefs...Only Thongs.
Text me Later...Peace Out Homes!...Big C is Crazy Man...I need 2 Take a Nap and Get Ready For Tha Ladies, I'm not gonna Read it, I hope He Didn't Spell anything Wrong.
And Copy...And There...We Paste..."How Do U Want it...How Do U Feel...Growing Up as a...", Boy How I Luv that Tupac Song!
Whoever Reads this Reads this...Whatever I'm taking a Nap.
Galaxia!
Big C's Diary Post
Finally, I get a Chance to get some things off my Chest.
My Guy Galaxia always Writes in Poem Form, in Honor of Him I'll Do my Best.
I'm writing a This After a Long Night a Partying on a Yacht...These Billionaires Use me 2 Get under a Woman's Dress.
Luv Nor Do I work that Way...I'm usually a Free but I'm gonna Charge Them Double...Getting through a Night of Drunk Spoiled Brats was a Challenge...No Arrows Shot...That I must Confess.
Before I get into Tha Legend Himself, Let's talk about Me and How I got in This Business of Luv.
Ever Since I was a Kid I knew I Had a Gift sent From Tha Luv Gods up Above.
As a Young Lad, my Heart Will Tingle with a Holding of Hands or Tha Sharing of a Lily Bulb.
Real Romance...Not Like it is Now...I mean me and This "Unnamed" Hip Hop Rapper got into an Heated argument When He Dissed This Beauty cuz She Told Him 2 simply, 'Wear a Glove'.
So as a Kid I was amazed at That Feeling of Want...Somebody Wanting U...Not Just Sexually but so In Tune with A Person's Soul that Ur Walking on Air.
In 1st a Grade I got my First Kiss. It all Started with This Gurl and U.S. doing this Hand Painting Thing...She Stole some Of my Red, My Favorite Color, So I say, 'Hey, that's not Fair!'
I began to cry, and before a Tear hit my OshKosh B'Kosh Overalls, She Kissed Me...Her Lips to My Cheek Felt like a Perfect Pair.
That's how I Learned How Gurls Flirt With Guys...That moment Changed my Life...It was All About Luv and Seeing People Find Their 'One'...everything Else I Didn't Care.
Tha Rumors are True I was born on Valentine's Day, so all Throughout School, they would throw a Dance, But Tha Spot was My Birthday Party.
One Memorable Night was My Birthday As as Junior in High School, Guys and Gurls Having a Wild Time...Body Shots...Whip Cream Sprayed Everywhere...That was Tha Night I Met Harley.
I Feel For Her Tha Moment I saw Her...Smart, Crafty, Seductive...But she Left me For a World of Crime...Maybe I Should've Appreciated Her More, our Split was My Fault...Partly.
She Ended up Meeting this Guy they Called, 'The Joker', Who I Guessed Made Her Laugh, after She Left I Felt Something Was Missing...It was Felt Like SNL without Chris Farley.
Tha Seed was Planted and I made a Vow To Help others Not make Tha Same Mistake as Me and Wanted to Hook Couples Who I thought Were Capable 2 Feel Tha Rose.
Now This a Whole Arrow Thang is A Tad Overrated, Everybody Asks Me about it, So this is Tha Last Time I'll Talk about it I Suppose.
It Started At a This Frat Party at my Alma Mater Luv. U., When I noticed The Geeky Guys Had All These a Beautiful Gurls in Tha Room, But Nobody Would Break Tha Ice...Tha Interaction was Stuck on Froze.
So This is When Tha Story Gets a Little Hazy...Tha Point Where Reality Gets Twisted With Folklore and a Great Social Media Prose.
I Had Already Spiked Tha Punch Bowl cuz I want Tha Party to be as Live as Possible...I added Some Rosay, A Hint of Ginger, Some Chocolate Kit-Kats, Trust Me it was Tha Bomb Diggity!
One of Gurls and Losers...I mean Nerd Guys...Happen to Meet Over By My Afrodisaic Concoction Which a Of Course I Thought Was Really Neat and Kinda Narly.
Meanwhile, I was over with Tha Cool Kids and We were Playing this Game Called 'Adam and Eve' Where a Gurl Would Stand Naked with an Apple on Her Head and Not Move all Wiggly.
Tha Goal Was to Shoot these Play Arrows and Try to Split Tha Apple...If Tha Arrow hit a Body Part, We would Have 2 Kiss That Spot...It Was My Turn and My Dream Crush Brianna Santiago was my 'Eve'...
I was more Than Fidgety.
I Aimed up...Shot..and Instead of Hitting Tha Apple or even Brianna's Pears...The arrow Flew past Her and Struck this Gurl by Tha Punch Bowl in Her Side.
Me and my Crew Were Half a Blitzed so we just Busted out in Laughter...Like at Tha Circus When Tha Clown Busts u in Tha Face with Some Cream Pie.
While Brianna began To Bounce over to me, Upset Cuz I Missed...I noticed Tha Gal that I accidentally Hit and How Her Eyes Began To Get Really Wide.
She was looking at That Guy she was Talking to, then Began Give a Warm Smile To Homeboy and all I Could Do was Shake My Head and Sigh.
I go to School that Monday and Ran into that Gurl, and she Says she's been looking For Me And a That a Rumor Had it That My Arrow's Miss, Became a Her Heart's Hit.
She said, She Had Fallen in Luv With a Tha Guy and Owes it all to me...Ain't Gonna Lie, I almost Had A Fit.
So much so That I Dropped My Loveology 101 Workbooks and Look For the Nearest Bench cuz I immediately Had To Sit.
They Got Married like Crazy Fast, I was Tha Man U Wanted to See if U want 2 Fall in Love...Romance was Now My Calling...That Work a Study Gig in Admissions I Simply Quit.
So Now I'm Throwing Bigger Parties, Playing Tha Role to a Tee...Walking Around with Arrows in a Bag...a Crazy Look when Ur Wearing a Suit From Prada or Armani.
Tha Papers Tried to make me Into a Cult Hero of Sorts...I hate all That Attention, I'll never Forget waking up in New York and seeing My picture with Tha Front Page Post Header, 'Stop Following Me!!'
It didn't stop... so Hear we are today...I got so many Stories to share But with Tha Names I must Flee.
Years ago I won a Case against this Guy named Hitch cuz He made a Movie really and truly based on my Life...I was in a Drought but things Change once u Win a Suit of $20.3.
And it was During this Period where I met Austin or to Many Austino Galaxia, who also Shares a special Tingle For Love Found.
Me and Him share 'First Met' Stories from Tha People we both Meet...He asked me what people may not know about me...I tell Him I Gave Kayne Tha Words to Tha song that later was named, "Bound".
He's my Friend and I know stuff about him...There are moments Where I look and say, 'Heavy Truly is Tha Head a That Wears Tha Crown.'
He asks Me Why I haven't Hooked Him Up just Yet? I don't have an Answer so all I can do is Look Away or Look Down.
See I was Given Strict Instructions By Tha a Owner of Tha Company I work for...Fate and Destiny, Inc., that I can't do anything until I'm given Tha ago Ahead.
Several times I've entered Tha a Boss' Office, like "I got a Gurl", but I was told to Turn around, Now is not Tha Time...I mean Romeo isn't Romeo Without a Lover and a Bed.
So One Day I just Broke into Tha Office Looking for Galaxia's File Wondering if it was Worth Him Continuing to Write and Learn or if He should Turn RuPaul Instead.
What I found Shocked Me Beyond Words...So Many Past Stories, So Many pictures of Future Suspects...It was A Dream File that is Tha Envy of Every Guy...Even That Little Bear named Ted.
I write this to My Friend and Others when it comes to my Line of Work.
My Greatest Piece of Advice is just Be Patient and Take a Tha Lessons of Luv...Those who Have Sacrificed Tha Most will Get Tha Finest Perks.
There's Somebody For Everybody...no need to Settle...And Guys be Yourself...Truly if a Gal Doesn't Feel Ya, Don't be a Jerk.
If ur True to Tha Game of Luv, it Will be True to You...I Get Assignments on Tha Daily so You may never Know Where I may Lurk.
When it Comes to my Friend...Every Blue Moon U Hear of Luv Stories so Wonderful, So Sexy and Amazing That U almost Don't Know What To Do.
Galaxia Has Shared His Triumphs and Heartbreak Lessons Like No One I Have Ever Known or Will Know...His Heart Has Always Been Pure and True.
Big C has Been so Excited Recently Which is Why I wanted to Guest Star in Your Diary on today cuz I Finally Got Tha News We all Have a Been Waiting For... Through Tha Roof I Almost Flew!!
Cuz My Bosses Have Slipped on My Desk My Next Assignment...And I have Waited A Long Time to say These Words...
So Get Ready for Tha Time of Your Life...
Cuz My Next Assignment is...
You.
Big C.
Luv ur Bro!
We'll Be in Touch.
No comments:
Post a Comment