Tha Stage Is Now Set!

I literally have so many stories to share, that I don't know where to begin.  We haven't written in over a week and it's been krazy.  From Me picking up Strangers outside of my Apartment Building...Well, I'm just not gonna share them or give a sneak peek.  It's been wild...It's Been Fun...It's Been Frustrated...And Borderline tiredsome...So I'm not sure where this is gonna lead on 2night.  No poetry...Just 100% Pure Us...One More Gin.

Man, I'm taking some Leaps of Faith Up in Not only our Life, but this Diary of Ours...What If We're Wrong?  What If I Don't Go Down as One of Tha Most Fun and Goofiest Guys To Have Lived?  What If I Don't Get That Cool Gurl That Has Eluded Me My Entire Life, and All Tha Multiple Hundreds of Episodes With Gurls Has Been Nothing But Entertainment for Tha Heavens Above and Tha Earth Beneath.  What If This is As Good as it Gets and I Never Have My Own TV Show...Or Clothing Line...Or Beach Pad in LA, Opposite Tha One I Have Here in South Beach.  I Don't Know If It's Doubt or Tha Fact That I Haven't Had My Eggo Nutri-Grain Blueberry Waffles in a Few Days, but As Good as My Life Has Been and Is, There's still this Wonder if I Can Really Get What I Want, and If Life is Truly Worth...Well...Living.

I Love To Be a Team Player...Don't Like Being a Soloist, but Enjoy Great Convos about Luv or Fashion or Sports and Music, and What Have You...Sometimes I just feel "Different...Different".  And Like, No Matter What I Do, How Hard I Try or For How Long I Pray, It's like there's a Certain Number of People That's Gonna Come In and Out My Life...There is Gonna Be a Specific Amount of Time that Has to Go By, before I Get Some of Tha Simplest Joys of Life That I Feel like I've Been Missing Out on....Or That You Have to Feel The Depths of Frustration, Rejection and Desperation Before You Even Get tha Slightest of Chance To Show What U Got.  Almost Like You Have To Go Through Years and Decades of Stupid Stuff Just To Get a Good Date, When Everybody Else U Know That U Luv is Married or Is Working on Their Multiple Kid?  Think About That...U've Gone Through More, In Ur Opinion, but are still Hoping To Get To Tha Starting Line Where Others Are....

But Maybe That's Tha Problem Right There...Looking at Others.  But What Else Can U Do When Sooooo Many Wild Things Have Happened To You.  Tha Natural Thang is To look around To see if Somebody Living or Passed On, Has Gone Through Something Similar and Can Give U a Tip, or U Can Read How They Made It Through, Just So That U Can Have a Slither of Hope that Things Can Change.  I'm Not Saying My Life Stinks, Cuz I Got it Pretty Good...But all Tha Armani, Alexander Wang, and Multiple Bank Accounts full of Dough, Isn't Gonna Satisfy My Thirst for Life, Luv and Fun.  It Just Ain't.   Keep on Saying That We Feel Like a Vintage Ferrari that's Been Bottled Up For Years, and Is Ready To Test Tha Road.  I'm Ready, and In my Opinion...I've Been Ready For What's To Come....But Why Do U Still Have To Endure?  No Matter What Positives Are Put Into My Soul...When U've Done This Thang For So Long...So Hard...And In Our Opinion...So Faithfully, U Get 2 Wondering If God Even Cares...Everybody Says It Will Be 'Ok', But They Have/Had What U Want.  Anybody Can Talk About Easy It is In Getting a Job, When They Got One.  Or How Getting a Quality Mate is Simple, When They've Screwed Half Tha Cheerleader Team, and Now Live With A Wife, 2 Kids and One on Tha Way...But What About When U Feel like Ur One of Tha Best...Ur Giving Maximum Effort...Believing In Tha Impossible When Nobody Else Does...Puts His Money Literally Where His Mouth Is...And Yet there Doesn't Seem To Be a Madonna Ray of Light, that, "Hard Work and Dedication" as Big Money Mayweather Would Say...Actually Pays off.

What Do U Do Then?

Huh!  What Do U Do...Then?

Words Can't Describe How I Feel Right Now.  I Feel Right On Tha Cusp of Everythang Falling into Place Since I Used to Lay Down and Draw Years Ago...I Used To Draw When I Was A Kiddo...Like A Lot.  This is Getting Ultra Personal, but Whatever...I Used To Doodle, but Not In Tha Usual Way.  I still have these drawings, but for some reason I used to Jot down pictures that represented me being in a Commercial either on TV or For Some Print Ad for a Magazine.  Usually it was for Nike or Something.  I Would Draw City Sky Lines of Chicago, or Some Created City Out of Tha Sims Video Game or Something, and through it all U Would See our Face on Tha Billboard, on Top of a Skyscraper.  Like we were a Big Star or Something.  Then To take it a step further...I Remember even Drawing a Advertisement or Mini-Story for My Own Reality TV Show.  And This Was Back like in '98 or '99 When Reality TV Wasn't even Mainstream or Big. It's Almost Like, whether Egotistical or Not, Like We Felt like Our Lifestyle, Even as a Teen, Was Worthy of Having Millions Around Tha Globe Tune In To Watch Us.  We Had a Part One and a Part Two of That Masterpiece.  Something Within Was Leading Us To Believe that Something Big Is Gonna Break Loose From Our Life...Don't  Know What...But Somethang.

Then To Have So Much Support from others was special, but It Was Our Encounters With Strangers, Whom We Didn't Even Know That May Me Wonder, That It's Possible.  From A Run in With a Guy and His Gurl in a Luxury SUV Downtown Here in Miami, and Him Shouting To Us while I was Riding My Vespa, "Ur Gonna Be a Millionaire One Day."...To People Remembering Me In Whom I haven't Seen in Months, and Definitely Years To Sexy Women Who Don't Know a French Lick of English, but Somehow Always Say, 'Hi, Austin!'...It's Been Crazy and Wild.  All I Want is For People To Enjoy Life To Tha Fullest, and If That Means I have To Take a Seat Back So Others Can Shine...Or Write Stating That A Gurl is Beautiful, even though She Has a Boyfriend that Might Take it Personally....Or Me Paying of  Meals or Gifts Just Because I know How It Feels To Be Jobless...Move to a New City...Or Feel like Nobody Does or Ever Will Understand Me...I'll Do It.  I'm That Kid Who's Willing To Do Whatever, and Go Through Whoever it takes To Reach His Dreams....

But I Didn't Think it Would Be This Hard or Take This Long.

A Lotta People Call Me Weird For a Lot of Things...From Me Watching a Movie 1/3rd In, Instead of Turning Tha Channel Since I Didn't Start at Tha Beginning...Or Refusing To Read Some Inside Covers of Books Cuz I Don't Want To Ruin What's in store of My Read...Or Perhaps For Setting Time Aside To Eat Oatmeal, as I'm Doing as I Write This...Or For Me Being RELIGIOUS About Eating Flintstones Vitamins Even Though I'm Big Enough Not To Eat Glue...At Least Everyday!  When People say I'm Weird, Inside I Shake My Head Cuz It's Normality to Me.  It's Normal For Me To Watch Tha Game With Tha Sound Down So I Can Jam Out To Some Britney Spears, Musiq Soulchild or Some Old Skool Paula Abdul...Or Even When I Go To Games, like Miami Heat Games Preferring To Sit Above in "UpTown" Than Below on Tha 100 Level Cuz U Get a Better View of Tha Plays Develop Compared To Down Below.  Yeah, They Say Tha Closer Courtside U Sit, Tha Hotter Tha Gurls Are (At Least With Lakers Games in LA, That's What I Heard)...But Are U There To Be Seen or Watch Tha Game From Tha Best Possible Angle with tha Most Faithful of Fans?!

That's Tha Dilemma That I've Been Facing...How To Get 2 That Next Level...And If What I've Been Doing All This Time Has Been One Sledgehammer Closer To That Rock Breaking or...Simply Just a Waste of Time.  My Nickname is "Austino Galaxia"...I've Been Signing My Name With Stars over The 'I's' of my name for decades...I Dream Big...But I Believe...Even Stronger.  It'll Just Be Super Cool To Find Somebody Who Wants This Big as Much as I Do.  In Terms of Having Fun, Acting Goofy...Not looking at Money as Tha All To End All, Even Though They Got It...And With Tha Realization That Life is Short....And....

When It Comes To Me and My Luv Life...It's Crazy...U Know U've Reached Platinum Status, When U Can See a Name on a Pair of Women's Shoes and Begin To Smile, Knowing U Know a Gurl By tha Same Name...Or You Hear a Country's Name, and Chuckle Like, "I Knew...Such and Such From There."  And I'm Not Talking About This...Born in Miami, but "I'm Colombian" Stuff...I'm Talking I Literally Know Somebody Who was Born or Presently Lives in That Country.  That's A Whole New Level...

My Standard For Women is Pretty High, I must Admit.  As A Kid, I Used to Read A Lot of Fashion Magazines...I Grew Up in That Cindy Crawford, Niki Taylor (OMG...I Have To Meet This Gurl, Please if Anybody Has Her Contact Please Email me at poohdaddy21@hotmail.com!)...But Like That Vanessa Williams, MTV Spring Break Era...Idalis, Tha Former MTV VJ....Pam Anderson...Jasmine Guy...Carmen Electra...Daisy Fuentes...Tiffani Thiessen...Sofia Vergara When she was on Fuera De Serie...Odalys Garcia From Tha Old Show Lente Loco...Salli Richardson...Frederique van Der Wal and Her Modeling Campaigns...Look Up Those Names, and these Ladies Were just a few of Tha Many Gurls I admired and Saw...And Believe U Me, It Was a Golden Era Of Sexy Gurls, and I Was Exposed To Not only That From a Media Standpoint,  but for some reason (Wink, Wink!) We've Always Been Cool with Different Gurls, Especially Those of True Sexiness and Coolness...Physically Attractive...Personality Wise...From Modeling Agency Experiences To Working Summer Jobs on Tha Sands of Lake Michigan, I've Always been Surrounded by Beautiful Women.  And Tha Females Have Always Been Mad Cool With Me.

So As I've Gone Through Episode and Experiment...And Quite Frankly Disappointments, I've Wondered...How Can This Be?   How Can I Be Mad Cool With 99% of Tha Women I Meet...Can Even Relate More To Those Really Beautiful and Sexy Gurls That Guys are Intimidated By, but are Mad Comfortable Around Me to talk about Life, Dating and Whatever Else...Yet, I Keep Running in That 1% Who's In a Relationship yet Flirt Psychotically With Us, To Where I Don't Know Whether To Take That Gurl and Disrespect Homeboy....Or Lay Cool Realizing That Her Man Ain't Giving Her Tha Attention She Needs, So She Uses Me To Fulfill Her Wishes or Fantasies In Terms of Somebody Who Truly Cares and Whom She Can Practice Seductive Moves on...This is Getting 2 Real 2night...

Or...Tha Gurl Happens To Be So-Called Lesbian, Which Under Tha Right Circumstances and depending On Who's on Tha Juke Box at tha Restaurant, that Assumption can be Highly Debatable...Or Tha Gal Who Wants To Be With You, but Doesn't Feel like She's Good Enough To Be With You, Even Though U Tell Her That She Is...Or Tha Woman Who is Married, and is Happy That A Guy like Myself Cares About Women, and How They Feel, and Is Willing To Push Tha Line On Me, Cuz She Knows I Won't Cross Tha Adultery Sidewalk....Or Tha Gal Who is Fresh Outta High School Who Thinks I'm Kinda Cool, Perhaps in a 'Dream Guy' Way, And is Willing To Party And Do This and That With Us, but Decides That Being Just a Friend is Too Big of a Risk, Cuz She Doesn't Know 'Who She Is' Yet...

Yeah, This sound Egotistical As That Geek Named Gyro from Tha show Ducktales (Whooo-Whooo!), but All This and Plenty A More Has Happened To Me...Can't Date Me Cuz of Her Parents....Cuz of Jewish Religion...Cuz I'm Black...Cuz U Were Scared U Actually Would Meet Ur Match Online (Isn't That Why it's Called Match.com?)....Won't Go Into Any And Everythang, But I've Wondered How Come These Thangs Keep on Happening To Me?  I'm Not Thirsty or Sweating If I Get Married or Not...Heck, Sometimes I Feel like Lil Wayne at tha Beginning of That "We Be Steady Mobbin'" joint!  But I Take Tha High Road, and Just about More Times Than Not, Those Same Gurls Come Back To Me in One Way or Another...Or Hold Their Head Down As They Pass By Me Somewhere cuz They know I'm Pure and Want Nothing But The Best for Them, Whether They See The Beauty they Possess or Not.

It's Like Tha Luv and Fun Gods Have Used What Matters To Me Most to Push Me To My Highest Limits of Faith, Perseverance and Determination.  They Know I Luv Cool People and Cool Gurls, So It's Like, Let's Let him Go Through This Extra Long Process To Humble Him.  When I Feel Like I Could've Been Just Has Humbled By Not Having A Closet Full of Kicks That I Can Lick Tha Bottoms of like Fat Joe Cuz I've Haven't Worn Them Yet!  I'm a Romantic...A Loverboy...But as My Guy Wrestler Shawn Michaels Sung...

"I'm Just a Sexy Boy...But Not Ur Boy Toy!"

But It's Amazing How Many People or Even Gurls Think That Way About Us.  I Might've Been Born At Night, but Not Last Night!  Actually I Was Born in Tha Morning, but Still...They think U Don't Know Tha Game, and Fudge...I've Probably Been Through More These Last Two Weeks Concerning Sex, Dating and Who I Want To Be With, than Many Have Been Through Tha Last 3 years Combined!  That's Real Talk...No Bragging or Boasting, but It's Been Wild dude.

As I Was Jamming Out To T.I. 'No Mediocre' With Iggy Today During Tha Noon Hour...It Awoke me Back To My Old Self.  Don't Settle!  It's Not Like I Can't Get Beautiful Women It's just that They've just all been Taken!  Or As Time Went All, I Found Out It Wasn't Meant To Be...I Have Yet To Meet a Really Sexy Gurl That I Really Liked, Who Was Single, and Hasn't Fell For Me.

Hasn't Happened Yet.

No More Limiting Myself  or Looking For Company Just Because it'll Be Nice To Be With Somebody For a Night.  Or Texting and Calling Folks To Hang, When and I Think They'll Even Admit, they Should Be Calling and Texting You...In Tha Streets They Say...All Pussy ain't Good Pussy.  (Excuse The French)  Not just in Regards To Tha Bedroom, but Just Because a Gal Looks Like a Dime, Doesn't Mean She Ain't a Penny Inside.

And That Goes For Guys Too.

I'm a Lot To Handle...So We shall See How This All Turns Out.  But Now...I'm just about Having Fun and Enjoying Life...No Time For Negativity...I'm Not Gonna Be a Listening Pillow like I Was in 2007 or '08, I Only Got a Few Hours of Free Time, And As U Can See I Got Thangs on My Mind Myself....So...We All Got To Fight Through Whatever...But Now It's time To Live Tha Life I Want...With Tha Type of People I Want...I Heard This Quote The Other Day...

"You Are Tha Average of Tha Five People U Spend Tha Most Time With."

Interesting...I never wanted to be a Soloist...Always Wanted to be Part of Some Team...But Just like Beyonce or J. Timberlake, it Hits you that Perhaps U Might Be Better off Going Solo.  It's Evident That Nobody Has Tha Vision That You Have...That Determination U Possess...That Willingness To Do, Eat or Take a Break So U Can Stay Fresh...So U Can Be This "Lifetime Kiddo".  Just Like When I Play Basketball or Workout in Tha Gym, I Actually Get Better as Tha Game Goes On.  And Perhaps, I've Been Saved (That's Funny!), So That When Others get Tired of Life, Or Get Tired of Being on Tha Bottom of The Luv Session, I Have Tha Energy and Understanding To Keep Going...While Having This Youthful Attitude on Life...Dreams...And Luv.

And No Matter What Goes On With Others, Or How Often Tha Process of Reaching Ur Dreams Seems Boring or Hypocritical....

There's a Small Voice Within That Keeps Saying, "Keep Going.  Don't Quit".  Thus I Will....As I Began Tonight, I Asked..."What If I'm Wrong?"  About My Dreams...Our Fun Legacy...And Luv Life With Dames...

But As I Think About It...All Tha Trials...Tha Episodes...Tha Midnights Waking Up In Prayer and Self-Talks Could Be Tha Evidence Of Tha Answer To Tha Question I Haven't Asked Myself In Awhile...

What If......I'm Right???!

Galaxia.