Fame. Luv. Fun. Sex. That's How I Ended Up in This Place.
Could add 'DOG' Backwards in there, but 2 add that...Tha Pope would Make Me a Disgrace.
Here I Am on This Saturday Morning, Wondering How I Can Save Face.
They Have Tha Movie 'Interview' on In Here...Boy That Sienna Miller...a London Gurl That that's Tha Equivalent of "My Taste".
I Have a Life Beyond Compare it seems...I Laugh Cuz The Events are So Wild.
At Publix...Of All Places Picking Up Groceries, and Once again I'm Getting Comments About My Style.
A Checkout Lady Walked By and With a Smile Spoke...All in Tha 3 Pack Del Monte Orange Aisle.
Saw Her Again, and Even Tha Bagger Spoke in Reverence...Tha Attention on Me Has Been Turn Up a Dial.
On Any Given Day, I Break Out In Spontaneous Laughter...Thinking About Episodes With Tha Ladies.
Making Out With a Homegurl of Mine for 3 Hours...Missing All But Tha Last 4 Minutes of This Year's Super Bowl...Tell Me That Ain't Crazy?!!
Or Giggling About One Day I Saw 3 Past Episodes on Every Floor of Nordstrom...Like Going To Disney Knowing U Slept With Cinderella, Minnie and Miss Daisy!
That's On My Mind as I'm In This Place Here 2day...Wondering Why Everyday I Have 2 Push On...When In Reality Tha Struggle Wants 2 Make Me So Lazy.
They Don't Have No Vogue, No Sports Illustrated, No People en Espanol? U Know I Need to Check Out Tha Chicas, They Give Me Thoughts.
On How I Should Dress...How Important Family Should Be in My Life...A Colorful Magazine With So Many Celebrity Parts.
This Guy Once Told Me That I Was Gonna Married a Beautiful Blonde, With a Busty Figure...And Ever Since My Soul Has Been Wrought.
From Australia To Paris To Tha Suburbs of Chicago...I Cringe At All My Luv Travels, and What It Has Truly Brought.
I Know it's Only Tha 9 O'Clock Hour, but I feel I'm Tha Only Patient of Tha Day...Go Figure...Everybody Else I Know Is Married or Waking Up With a Sexy Mate.
But Noooooooo! Not Me...Mr. Galaxia...I Have To Wake Up Early on This Saturday For This Procedure...Oh How I'm Reeeally Starting To Hate Fate.
I'm Too Good To Be in Here, I Know It...I Wouldn't Touch These Floors With My Air Jordan or Nike Collections...Even My Keds Might Have To Wait.
This is What My Life Has Come To...Forced To Be Patient....Always Having To Be Tha Last One...Eating Oatmeal for a Dessert Instead of Funfetti Cake.
It's Too Early To Get Emotional...But Dang-It! I Want To Be The Best...Why Do U Think I Luv Britney Say Those Words in Tha Song, "Perfect Lover".
Sometimes I Feel Like It's Become Criminal That I Haven't Found Other Fun Sistas and Brothas.
Making Me Feel Totally Ashamed, That I Have No Embarrassment...About Sleeping Almost Naked...With Only My Armani Briefs Separating Me From tha Covers.
Bewildered That So Many Strangers Approach Me On Tha Street...Which Has Me Thinking That TMZ is About To Find Their Lead Story, and Like Biggie & 'Pac There'll Never Be Another.
Sometimes I Cry...Sometimes I Make Up Cuss Words...All Is A Part of Me, Which is Why I Guess I'm In...Here.
I'm So Fed Up With Having To Prove Myself Time and Time Again, I Mean Even Bambi Would Get Tired of Having 2 Prove She's Tha Sexiest Deer.
And As Much As I'm Trying To Leave Tha Forest of My Past...Tha Rejection Letters, Tha Gals Who Messed Me Over...Just Thinking About It Makes Me Want To Grab a Duff Beer.
And Have a Cold One With Both Homers...Tha Philosopher and Mr. Simpson....I Can Taste What I Want So Bad...I Wonder if it's In Tha Suds of...Fear?
I Need A Drink...Nurse...Nurse...How Much Longer? This is My First Day Off in 12 Days, and I Don't Want To Spend It Smelling Like Medicaid!
"Just Be Patient, Tha Doctor Will See You In A Bit."....If I Here Somebody Else Tell Me About Being Patient...That Seems To Be My Float in My Never Ending Macy's Parade.
Nobody Else Is Containing Themselves...I See Them on MTV or on Tha Cover of GQ...I'm Never Gonna Hate on Them, but I Feel Like Bo-Bo Who's Continually Being Told...'Sit and Stay.'
I've So Over That Dude, It's Not Even Funny Anymore...Like Tha Only People Who Can Relate is Buster Bunny...A Fun & Goofy Guy Who's Always Around Tha Hottest Gals...Without Having 2 Use Apple Pay.
It's Incomprehensible....How Come I'm Not "A Star"? Have This Life Where Everyday is Just Like Prom.
Let Me Get Some Coffee While I Wait....Yeah...Huh...That's Ironic...I Didn't even Go To Mine...Choosing Rest Over Tuxedo's and Dresses Exposing Very Enticing Pom-Pom's.
Maybe I'm Trying To Make Up For That...Moving To South Beach, Where Nobody Works, Everybody Parties, and We Don't even No Tha Meaning of 'Be Home By Dawn.'
Huh. Dawn. And Fawn. Oh...I Have known Some Beautiful Gurls Over My Ti...PHOOOEY!! Yuk!!.. Hey Nurse, Is This Cuban Coffee?!!! It Taste Straight Up Like Tha Stuff U Throw on Your Lawn!!!
Yep-Yep-Yep. What A Life I've Had...But Still, and I know I'm Harping on This...Why am I In Here on Today? I Should Be Heading Up To Boca or Texting a Doll With Tha Words...'U Wre Great.'
That May Be Why I'm In Here. Trying To Please Everybody all Tha Time...Putting Way Too Much Steak and Lobster on My Plate.
Need To Go Back To Tha Days of Eating Tyson Chicken Patties and Spam Sandwiches...Living Tha Simple Life of 'King Me' Instead of 'Checkmate'.
Now It Seems That I Have Stories and Lessons By Tha Truckloads...I Can Hear U-Haul Bringing Them In Now By Tha Crates.
Tha Day of Operation...Not tha Board Game, but Real Life...Can Be Tha Scariest Days of Them All.
Here in Miami, People Get Plastic Surgery Like Condos Popping Up In Downtown Brickell...Heading to South America so Under Tha Knife They Can Fall.
I Remember this One Gurl Actually Bailing out on a Heat Basketball Game With Me...Cuz She Was Getting Her Boobs Done...I'm Like Totally Over it, but At Least I Could've Gotten a Facebook Call.
Some People Think Miami Is Fake...Perhaps, but When In Rome U Do as Tha Romans...Getting a Uplift is Sometimes Just Tha Norm, So Seamless...Like My Boy Kobe Shooting and Dunking That Ball.
Ugggggghhhh!! This Doctor Freakin' A!! Come On...Tha More I Sit or Lay in This Chair I Want To Up and Leave.
Wonder If Anybody Else Has Felt like That...When Things or Situations That U Have 2 Go Through Confront U...U Rather Simply Walk Away Than Bleed.
Looking at Tha End Results Instead of Trusting Tha Process...Not Realizing That U Can Become Tha Next Rocky...Always Talking About Tha Eventual Death of Apollo Creed.
It's Not Easy, Let Me Tell U...Like Tha Closer U Get To Ur Goals, Tha Actual Lonelier You Feel...I Can Afford This...My Face in On That...U Have What U Want, But Still are Missing What U...Need.
Guess That's Why People Talk About Haters...I Have This Diary That I Write In...And Not Just in That, but I feel Like Tha More Open and Stronger I Become, Tha More People Distant Themselves From You.
When I Say Tha Most Beautiful of Guys and Gurls, Physically, Mentally and Spiritually, Have It Tha Toughest...I Mean It. Ur Look at As An 'Image' and Nobody Wants To Truly Get Through.
Like Somebody Going To Tha Beach, Always Wearing a Huge Tee Shirt, and Finally Taking Off Tha Shirt To Expose a Body That Is in Tip-Top Shape, But Nobody Had No Clue.
It's Intimidating So Some...Not Knowing Tha Sacrifices of Proper Diet, Timely Workouts, and Going To Bed Instead Of Hitting Tha Club, all So U Can Be Tha 'Next Level' Of You.
I Guess This Doctor is Gonna Be Awhile...He Told Me He's Dating This Former Porn Star, So I'm Sure He's Recovering From a Long Night Of Ropes, Film and Cuffs!
Might as Well Talk 2 Myself...But Yeah...I've Felt Like I've Tried Everythang To Get This Life That I Want Right. Even Cutting Tha Snacks...Does ANYBODY KNOW HOW I USE 2 LUV CHEESE PUFFS?!!
And Donut Sticks...And King Size Pixy Stix...To Be Tha Best Version of You Isn't Easy...You Have To Be So Mentally Tough.
Lately I've Felt Like I've Been on My 'A' Game Yet Life Keeps Dealing Me This Whack Poker Hand...I Try To Play It Off like Nelly and Pharrell, but Life The Dealer Seems Unbeatable and Keeps Calling My Bluff.
My Stomach is Getting Hungry...This Life of Living off of Pollo Tropical Survey Coupons Has Got 2 Stop...I Wake Up Feeling Like I Literally Spent an Hour Eating 'Air' For Din-Din.
But...When Ur Trying Save Up Money So U Can Buy Those Dsquared2 Trunks U've Been Thinking About, U'll Eat Anythang, and Ladies I Do Mean ANYTHANG....So Ur Closet is a Win-Win.
Guess This is How U Think When Ur Living Tha Single Life Huh? Do Whatever or Whoever U Want...Not Thinking About Anythang Else Except How in 2 days To See All of LA and Tha City of...Sin-Sin.
Have 2 Stop That Thinking, That's How I'm In This Hospital or Office Today Anyway...Perhaps I'm Focusing Too Much on Myself, and Not Considering Tha Power in Tha...Lend-Lend.
"Aus-Tine-no Galaxia...Tu Necessitas a...." Hold It...Hold It...I'm Not Fluent in Spanish, So Can You Speak So That I Can Make Sure Ur Not Pulling Tha Wool Over My Eyes.
"Ok...My English is...Small"....You Spoke Fine Earlier So Go On..."Si...I Mean Yes...You Need To Sit Down Be-Cause...Ah...Office...Ah...Politica...Is That You Shoosh...No Talk. Email. Or Text Reply."
This Chick Got Tha Nerve To Tell Me...When I'm Tha Only One In This Joint 2 Be Quiet? It's Now...Let Me Check My Watch...10:29am in Tha Morning...I'm About 2 Let out a Huge Charlie Brown Sigh.
I Just Want 2 Get This Over With For Real Dude...I'm Over This Process...Tha Mountain Climb...And I'm Over NURSE ASSISTANTS WHO YELL AS PATIENTS AND FOR BREAKFAST EAT BK FRIES!
Everybody on Yelp Suggested That I Go To Columbia To Get this Process Done...No Waiting...No Trouble...But Nooooo....I Once Again Have To Be Tha Good Guy and Be Legal.
I Need To Be a 'Bad Guy' For a Night or Two...Turn Into Tha Dark Knight...A Barry Bonds...Or a Rodman...Turning into Them Dudes from Ducktales...Them Boys of Beagle.
I Just Need a Minute or Two To Close My Eyes and Have Peace and Quiet...Imagining This Journey That I've Been On, Not From Tha Eyes of a Robin, But From Tha Eyes of an Eagle.
Being Able To Have All of My Dreams Come True...Life Paying Me In Full, and Not in Wages That Seem So Meager.
Life Isn't Too Bad With My Eyes Close. It's Like Tha Only Time I Can Have To Myself...Except When I'm Inside a Stall on a Toilet Seat.
Don't Have 2 Think About People Pulling Up Next 2 Me at a Stoplight To Look at Me or Tha Ride...Even Though It Happens All Tha Time and is Somewhat Neat.
Or No More Wondering What Words Can I Say When I Meet Some Gal of Sexiness and Beauty...Learning Not 2 Judge if She Has a Crumb on Her Mouth, or Wears Reeboks on Her Feet.
I'm Alone With Myself...Dreaming That This Surgery or Procedure Will Come Out Smooth as a Baby's Bottom...And That It'll Be Worth Tha Pain...Tha Wait...And That After This I Won't Look Like More of a Freak.
Should I Leave? Should I Stay? Should I Leave? Should I Stay?... "Senor Galaxia"...Guess I'm Up Now....Time To Go Under Tha Knife.
I've Done This Before, but Never With This Doctor and Under These Circumstances...Doing This For Myself...Well, I Guess I'm Also Doing This So I Can Find a Future Wife.
U Reach Those Moments Where U've Had It...Straight Up Bro...And U Realize That Ur Gonna Pour In Ur Best Effort, Cuz This Might Be Tha Last Chance U Have in Changing Ur Life.
That Might Mean Saving a few Nickels, Or Being in 24/7 Zen Mode...I Want This Thang More Than Ever...Never Could I Have Imagined That Wanting 2 Show Luv and Having Fun Could Attract So Much Strife.
I'm Just Going With My Heart, That's Why I'm Here...Yeah, It's Gonna Be Painful, Cuz I'm Not Going Under Tha Knockout Gas...I Want To See This 'Ish.
My Eyes Want To Literally See Tha Doctor Put in a New One, and Take Out Tha Old...I Want To Look 2 My Right, and See All Tha Bonk Relationships and Emotions Lay Hopeless on That Metal Dish.
I Want To Feel Brand New, Living as If I'm Back in 8th Grade...Better Than Ever With Tha Needed Experience Of How It Feels To Be Living Not as Tha Glass Bowl But As Tha Beautiful Fish.
This May Be Tha Happiest Day of Our Life 2 Date...With Just Tha Knowledge That If U Don't Give Up and Are Willing To Push On...U'll Get Ur Name Called for This Ultimate Surgical Wish.
Tha Goal is To Be Better Than Ever...Think 'We' Instead of 'Me' and Whenever I Get This Gal, She Will Know That She Has Tha Best...And Those Words Will Never Recant.
My Dream Job...My Dream Lifestyle is Just a Few Seconds Away...I'm So Excited that I'm Literally Jumping Up and Down and About To Wet My Pants!
Always Believe When it Looks So Dark, Cuz U Never Know, and Simple Procedure Can Turn Ur Every Doubt and Defeat To A 'Can' From a 'Can't'.
No Need To Hold In Ur Feelings of Frustration or Disappointment...Let It Out in Words, Song, or Even Shouting To Tha Heavens in an Expletive Rant.
Cuz When U Really...And I Do Mean REALLY Want Something...U Don't Care About Messing Up Ur Burberry Polo...U Need To Get Down and Dirty With Ur Fists.
I've Fought To Get To This Office Thingy Today...I Had To Walk For Years, When Everybody Else Had It I Thought, So Easy...Fighting Myself on How Striving For Greatness Can Leave U Without A Kiss.
Yet On This Long and Extensive Walk To This Surgical Bed, I Learned About Myself...How Bad Do I Want This? You Can't Do Anythang About Tha Past, So Don't Keep Thinking That There's Something U Missed.
You Might Be Tha Trailblazer...You Might Be Tha Blueprint Moments from Now...When U Get Inducted To Life's Hall of Fame, They Can Tell Everybody That They Were Truly a Witness.
Now It's Time To Live...Time 2 Play...Living Each Day As If It Were a Masterpiece Made By Picasso...Worth Every Cent of $179 Million.
Yes, There are Excuses To Think That Nothing Will Ever Change...Same Job...Same Guys or Gurls U See...Same No's...No Time 2 Have Fun...I Can Think Of Many By Tha Billion.
But if U Can Just Keep On Pushing and Get To This Office On Tha Side of Tha Road...Tha One on Tha Outside That Looks Like a Cheap Tiki Hut, but on Tha Inside Has Technology Adding Up To $1 Trillion.
Don't Judge Everything or Everybody by Tha Outside...I've Learned My Lessons, and Now I'm Gonna Leave a 'Fun' Legacy, Living in Tha Stars, Whose Numbers are in Tha Gazillions!
(Knock! Knock! Knock!) 'Come In.'
Ok. Here We Are... I see Tha Assistants With Tha Masks on, With One of Them Handing Me A White Robe With My Booty Hanging Out.
Hey Doc...Never Mind, No Need Complaining, Just To Be Here is a Blessed Success...I'm Just Gonna Get Dress and Erase All Doubt.
Take Off My Necklace, Marc Jacobs Bracelets, Now My Shirt...Boy I Need To Hit Tha Gym and Get My Abs Right, U Know Miami Gurls Want a Guy's Body To Be Hard When She Lays Her Head About.
I Had a Gurl Yesterday Grab on My Wrist...Then My Biceps...Then My Neck....If She Had of Grabbed on My Ear, I Promised U Dude I Would've Done Anythang She Wanted Done To Her Like a Slave Robot.
Concentrate on This Moment...Concentrate...Alright, Tha Robe is On...And We're Back in Tha Lab.
'Lay Down'. This Doctor isn't Too Friendly It Seems...Like Instead of Coming To Tha Office in New Benz, He's Forced To Take Tha Metrobus or Even Catch a Cab!
'Close Ur Eyes and...There.' ....And There??? Hold On...I Cut My Cable Bill So I Can Afford This Procedure, I Know 2 Minutes Isn't Worth a $750,000 Medical Tab.
'Have a Good Day Young Man.'...Tha Other Day We Talked For Hours About Life, His Freaky Gurlfriend, and Now "Have a Good Day" What Tha...This is Like Really....Like Totally...Not Rad.
Now Everybody is Leaving, and I'm Left Alone...As Usual...Wondering Was It Worth it Coming Here When I Could've Been Eating Brunch.
Tha Word On Tha Block Was This Guy Was Tha Best...And I'm Sitting Here Thinking, I Sacrificed So Much For Dos Minutos...U Know How Many Times I Could've Went to Prime 112 For Lunch??!!
Like Everytime I Want 2 Get A Toy From Life's Cereal Box, I Get Nuthing But Fake Smiles From Cap'n Crunch.
But Somethang Is Different...It Took A Moment To Click In ...But I Feel It Bubbling Inside Just a Simple Tad, Not By an Overflowing Bunch.
See What This Dude...or Doctor Just Did Was Amazing...It must've Been Ultra-Sound or Something...Cuz From Tha Outside You Cannot See.
Yet...I Can't Even Control What Has Happened, Maybe He is Tha Best Around...Cuz Now I Have So Much Glee.
Live Life To Tha Fullest...Face Your Fears...Those Words as Well as a Sense of Strength Growing On Inside of Me.
Use Fame Wisely...True Beauty Comes From Within...I Can't Stop These Words From Coming Out...I Think I'm About 2 Go Silly.
I'm Trying To Put My Hand in Front of My Mouth...Age is Just a Number...Love is an Action Word...It's Tha Person, Not Tha Body...This is Getting So Scary.
Please Stop...Please Mouth Stop Moving...Remain True 2 One's Self...Good Things Do Come To Those Who Wait...Please Tell me That I'm Not Moments Away from Being Buried.
Cough! Cough! Cough! What Tha Heezy?! What Did This Doctor Do To Me? OMG...This Is Horrible...I Felt like I'm Tha Lab Rat for a Huge Scandal...Somebody Please Call Up Tha Chick Name...Kerry.
Maybe I Did Need This...I Don't Know...I'm Just Gonna Lay Down on This Floor Cuz I Can't Even Get Up...I Feel Like Out on Tha Strecher My Body Somebody Will Have To Carry.
What Just Happened? What Did Those Words Mean For Real? Almost Like I Was Re-Done from a Diagram From a Scrap Paper Piece.
Wait...Here's a Clip Board Laying on Tha Ground...Can I Kick It Over To Me...Ehh! Ehh! Score...Alright What Does This Say...It's a Picture of Me, with Words That Look Like a Cell Phone Contract Lease.
A Little of This...Added With A Tad of That...Whahh? I Felt Like I'm a Science Experiment of Sorts...And That I Was The Ultimate Feast.
Now I Get It...I'm Gonna Sue That Jack-Legged Doctor For all He Has...He Has Now Turned Me Into Some Kind of Beast.
These Words...Be Courageous. Inspire....They are Right Next To My Diagram..I See 'Austino Galaxia' at Tha Top, So I know That This Report is True With Every Detail So Fine.
Funny Cuz Even Though it's Tha Morning, Tha Sun Wasn't Out...Even For Those Two Minutes I Hear Thunder and Lightning...Leaving Me To Wonder Where Was Tha Shine.
Guess We'll All Have To See If this Worked or Not...I Do Feel Different Now...With Tha Only Sound I Hear is Nas Spitting "Tha World Is Yours."...Yes...I Feel As If It's Mine.
This Was Tha Craziest Morning Ever, Never Could I Have expected This...I Walked In a Superhero, but Now Feel More like Tha Lost Son of Frankenstein!
See This Happened 2 me Just a Few Moments Ago...Now I Move On Knowing That It's About To Be On, and That Things Happened 2 Make U Stronger So U Can See Tha Beauty in Tha Sun.
Tha Past U Cannot Change, Tha Future is Gonna Be Better than Ever...And I Now Live Knowing That U Are One of Tha Best and Have Yet 2 Even Begun.
No More Talking and Thinking Defeat, Cuz If U Keep Pushing and Believing, I can Truly Say That No Matter What U Have Already Won.
Some People Choose Other Thangs To Spend Their Money On...But I Saved Up For a While For This Transplant Procedure 2 Occur...
Tha One Where I Get a Brand New Implant of...
Luv...
And Fun.
2 Finger Peace Sign!
Galaxia!
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