For It Marks a New Journey in Time.
It Can Involve Money, To Be Well Known,
Or A Candy Bag On Valentine's Day With Hearts Saying, 'Be Mine'.
A Lot Has Been Revealed In This Diary our Ours,
On Our Plight to Become One of Tha All-Time Stars.
It Hasn't Been Easy, Quite Tha Contary,
Never Is When Dealing With A Venus, While Ur From Mars.
I've revealed Too Much...Probably...
But I've Always Wanted This 2 Be As Authentic as Can Be.
It's Tha Process of This Quest Which Develops a True Character,
Tha Behind Tha Scenes War Within, That Sometimes ain't Made for TV.
About 2 Something This Morning, I read Some Posts from Tha Past,
On austinogalaxia.com, Those were Tha Days.
There Was an 'Air' of Fun Sharing Stories About South Beach & Luv,
So Much was Learned a Going Through That Sandcastle Maze.
Lately, I've been in a Dogfight So to speak,
I have Just About Everything Materialistically, But Still I stand at This Door.
Whether it Involves Luv or Finding True Friends, Here I Am,
Wondering How Am I Out Here In a Tha Middle of This Stormy Pour?
U Felt Like You're True 2 Urself and 2 Others,
But Remain on Tha Outside Looking In...Without an Explain.
Yes, Ur Just a Kid Who Only Wants 2 Have Fun,
Ur a Star on Tha Bench, Still Waiting 2 Check into Tha Game.
Gonna Be Honest, I had a Situation A Day or So Ago,
Which Left me Thinking, 'U Know What, I Really Don't Care Anymore.'
Obviously, God...Tha Luv Gods...Father Time...Everybody is Against Me,
Why Do I Have 2 Patiently Wait in Line, While Others Get Ushered In Tha Door?
I Sat on Tha Edge of My Bed in Tha Darkness of Tha Night,
With All These Episodes of Girls Playing in My Head.
Some of Which I Totally Forgot About, For Real,
Contemplating What Differently Could I Have Done Instead.
Was I Too Nice? Too Confident?
The Timing Was Off Seeming 100% of Tha Time.
How Can Someone Attract Sooooo Many Sexy Females,
Only For It 2 Be a Mirage...Without All Tha Vegas Bling and Shine.
Every Episode played Out like a TV Show,
Where Everything Would Seem Cool, Only at Tha End For it 2 Fall Apart.
I'm One of Tha Most Mentally Tough People U'll Ever Know,
But Behind Tha GQ UK Wardrobe, still Beats a Human Heart.
How Many More Times Can I Pick Myself a Up?
Each Day it Seems Closer and Closer to a 'Here We Go Again'.
Am I actually Succeding In This Thang Called Life?
Or Has My Life just Turned into An Heavenly Novel, With Me just Being a Mediator Between Tha Pen.
I Talk about My Dating Life So Open,
Not To Brag, Not for Sympathy Cards, And Definitely Not 2 Get Laid.
But Because it's one of Tha Areas That Has Had a Bolted Lock on its Door Forever,
I've Tried 2 Build a Castle of Luv, But Tha Blueprint Has Never Been Made.
Honored 2 Hear Pleasantries About Our Character, Our Goofiness,
Or Perhaps Someone Reiterating That We're One of a Kind.
But Just Like an Athlete That Always Wins MVP,
There Comes a Point Where U Want a Championship Ring on Ur Finger 2 Shine.
One Never Knows Why Some People Go Through So Much,
While With Others Everything Seems To Fall in Place.
I just Came in From Getting My Egg White Sandwich From Subway,
And I Saw People Outside Sleeping Without a Bed...Yet I'm slow 2 Call it a Disgrace.
I'm a Romantic...I'm Ultra Competitive...
At Times I Wonder If I'll Find A Compliment or a Identical Match.
Whoever Knows Me, and Reads This Diary, Won't See This As Weird,
But Tha Story and Masterplay of Their Ultimate Catch.
Somebody Told me Not Too Long Ago,
'One Day There Will Be a Lucky Gurl To Have You.'
Not Tha First Female That Has Told Me This,
Great Words, but They Have No Idea What I've Had 2 Go Through.
I'm not Tha Only Sexy Single Out Here, True...
But My Life Has Been like a Puppeteer of Pinocchio.
Doing What I Thought Was Right At Tha Time,
Seems like It's Best Not Being Humble About Ur Luv Making Skills and Dough.
U Think, If I'm Doing What I feel 2 Be Right, and This is Tha Result?
Everything I was Taught Was just a Scheme 2 Pass Tha Time Away.
I Should Only be About Smashing Chicks, Not Caring For a Gurl's Personality,
And Whenever She Sends a Cute Text, be a Jerk and Not Respond for Four Days.
One thing About Me, is That U can Be Ultra Honest With Me,
I Cherish That! And Guys and Gurls Alike Will Truly Agree.
I Want Somebody Who Says...That's Too Much Galaxia or U Went Too Far...
Tha Best People Want Trueness and Honesty... Not a Worship, U Understand Me.
That's Why it's tough For Some of My Beautiful Female Counterparts To Find True Luv as Well,
Guys see Their Outer Beauty, and Great Minds and Put them on a Pedestal...Like that Fergie song.
Tha Gurls Admire it, but Secretly know it's a Level Of Perfection that is Not Realistic,
Thinking What if I Lose my Body cuz of Kids, or What if I no longer Want 2 Take Butt Shots so I can Look Good in That Thong?
I'm Tha First 2 Say that I like Super Attractive Gurls,
My Eye For Beauty Literally Runs Tha Gauntlet from Head to Toe.
Blond, Brunette...Asian, Brazilian, Australian, Country Gurl, Ratchet...
Size 0...Size 22...Tattoos...Church Girl...Party Gurl...My Eyes Have Seen Sexiness in Droves.
What I've learned Is That Measurements and Labels are just That,
And What's Really important Is Tha Gurl that Lurks Inside.
How Pretty She is without Makeup, Or How She Argues over a Character on a TV Show,
Those are Tha Things That Stand Out to Me, in Choosing In Whom I Should Confide.
Sometimes U just Wanna Ask Ur Friends Straight Up,
How Come U Met Ur Mate in High School or In College or Thereafter?
Did u make Some Kind of Under Tha Table Deal with Sir Cupid,
That Prevented You from Having to go Through What I'm Experiencing Minus Tha Laughter.
It's like 'You're Lucky'...Perhaps...
I'm trying not 2 Look at it That Way but at times it Seems So True.
Been Around A Lot of Gurls and Women...Too Many Really...
Without Having a Shorty, or Without Shorties...Not too Much a Guy Can Do.
So we just Go Back to Tha Lab and Try 2 Be as Prepared as Possible.
Study how 2 Improve on This Solution of 'Luv & Fun' and Go From There.
I'm on Tha Back Nine on this Luv Thang, about 2 Concede 2 This Life of Star Solitude,
I'll be Disappointed but there's a Peace knowing I've done my best With my War Gear.
Maybe it's just not in Tha Cards, and I'm just this Sideshow,
Whatever Tha Case May be I have 2 Be Prepared to Adjust.
I'm over Trying 2 Figure out My Past...Why This Gurl, Not That Gurl...
So Over Crying and Praying...I can No Longer Muster up A Cuss.
Just Know That All I Wanted Was 2 Become One of Tha Best...
2 Help Change Tha World, One Heartbeat at a Time.
Yes, I've Wanted Tha Best of Tha Best,
Let not that Confuse You, I'm just as Cool With Steak or Steak-Ums as My Choice of Dine.
All Tha People of Celebrity that I've Admired...Tha Kobe's, Tha Kayne's...
Barry Bonds, Jordan, Rodman, JFK Jr.'s...U Either Luv or Hate.
As I live My Days here in South Beach, and Soon Los Angeles and Beyond,
I'm in That Same Category...Which is Cool, Cuz I Want 2 Be in That Debate.
With My Ego it's difficult 2 Admire A Lot of People,
Cuz Few Have Gone Where I'm Trying 2 Go.
I've literally Sacrificed So Much, in Money, Tears, And Years 2 Learn Tha Course,
Some Lessons by Choice, Others Blindsided Me By a Windy Blow.
Confidence comes in Many Ways and Fashions...
It can Come From Compliments, Outer Apperance or a Past Success.
Tha Confidence That I Have Been forced to Hold on to, comes from None of That,
But From Tha Struggle of Tha Process, A Special Student needs Special Tests.
Like in School When a Top Student is Called upon A Tad Harder by Tha Teach,
Tha Student Wonders Why With He or She Tha Expectations Are So High.
Every Class I have 2 Go up To Tha Dry Erase to Do a Formula or Theorem,
While Others Get 2 Sit Back and Watch...Like They get a Pass to Get By.
But As With Life and Perhaps With Luv,
There Has been a Chosen Few Who Have Tha Will to Accept or Decline.
A Secret Society of Sorts, Where at a Crossroads U Have a Choice,
Some Are Afraid of Tha Journey, While a Select Few Say Tha Task is All Mine.
One Has To go a Through an Initiation Period,
Where u Are Tested Beyond Max, 2 See If U Are Truly Made For This.
Tha Duration is Unknown, Tha Quantity Seems Infinite,
Thoughts of It Ain't Worth it Creep in, As Everything Overwhelms U like a Moby Dick Fish.
It's lonely, Cuz U think of What U Could be Doing,
How All of Ur Friends are Having Tha Typical Teenage or 'Normal Life' Fun.
But U Followed Ur Heart, Considered Tha Prize Larger Than Tha Pain,
Wanting to be Not like Tha Millions, But to be 'That One'.
When people Say Nobody is Real anymore, There aren't any Real Celebrity Role Models,
U Wanted 2 Past on Tha Fun, u were Taught As a Kid.
When There's a Gurls night out at a Trendy Club, and Everybody is Bashing Guys and Their Ways,
U Want Ur Gurl 2 Think, "My Guy is a Dream...He is Definitely Somebody Worth Luv's Highest Bid."
So u Endure When it Looks Confusing, U Endure When It Seems Ur Losing,
U Endure Cuz Perhaps At Tha End is All That Have Ever Prayed.
If U Give Up Now, You Will Never Know 'What If I Hadda...',
Many A Hearts Have quit Under Difficult Conditions, Only 2 Wished They Had Stayed.
I Want 2 Be in That Club, That's Why I Write and Live,
That Club May be of a Few, or Even I might Be Tha Only One.
But I Signed up For This When I said, 'I Want Tha Most Beautiful Gurl in Tha World',
Or When I Used 2 Autograph "The Best" back in 7th Grade Where this All Begun.
I Promise To be Better Than Ever, For Life, For Love,
So That Somebody Can Have Their 'Dream Come True' Holding Their Hand.
Tha Key To Success and Finding True Luv just Hit Me Now as I Write...
In Order 2 Become Tha Best and Tha Sexiness...Never...Ever...Forget To First...
Become...
You Own...
Biggest Fan.
With Luv and Kisses.
Galaxia.
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