Tonight I Give My Heart.
So here I sit...Oatmeal to my Right...No noise Except Tha Calming Hum of Tha AC.
Trying 2 Unwind a Bit right Here...Our Mind is Like a Mouse on Wheels...Picture Tiny Jerry in a Ferrari.
No idea Why I'm Even Writing 2 Be Honest...So busy, Plus a Who wants 2 Hear from Tha Mouth of Me?!
But I got A Few Moments of Time...What's Tha Theme For 2nite....We All just Have 2 Wait and See.
(Huge Blow!)
There is perhaps Nothing More Frustrating Than Having a Feeling That ur Never gonna Fit in.
No matter What u do, it doesn't Work...Fast Money. Crazy Cars, Miami Ink Swag Tats on Ur Skin.
Sitting At This Lunch Table of Life, Waiting For That 'Cool Kid' 2 Sit Next 2 You...Knowing Their Presence Instantly Brings U a Win.
Hoping 2 be Invited To 'Tha Hottest Bash of Tha Year'...Where Tha Party Never Stops, Where Snow may be In 80s Excess, Where Friends Become Lovers...Oh, How Tha Lines begin 2 Blend.
We all want 2 Be Liked...Loved...Sometimes Even Worshipped, but What Do u Do When u still Feel like An Outkast?
Ain't talking about No Andre 3K or Big Boi Either, We Talking About When Ur Body is a Masterpiece But Inside Tha Painting, Tha Oil is Running out Fast.
Being Tha Only Single Person in Your Friends Wedding Party, and Blankly Staring Into Space thinking, 'Why am I Tha Last One...ALL THA TIME?'...Awoken only by a 'Everyone Please Lift Ur Glass,'
Having This Confidence That Ur Future is So Bright That Ur Gonna need Some Ray-Ban's...Yet Without Living Proof, Being Haunted By an All 2 Familiar Past.
When I was a Younger Kid...I recall being Kinda Heavy set I guess...I wore Husky Size Pants...And Tha Worst Jeans With an Elastic Band!
OMG! It Was cool...But Horrible at Tha Same Time...Evidently Eating 3 Whoppers, A Large Fry and Some Nuggets Did Tha Trick...Along with a Stop by Tha A&W Root Beer Stand.
I wasn't Huge, but Not Small Either...My Luv for Basketball Helped a Lot...But I was a Tad OOC in my Habits, I mean in 7th Grade My Lunch was Literally One Big Chocolate Chip Cookie and a Coke Can.
I was Still Mad Cool...Many Would Say "Popular" I guess...But in some Ways I was on Tha Outside Looking in I felt...Just because U know Everybody, Doesn't Make You Tha Man.
During This Time I was a Game Show Junkie, Especially Tha Ones involving Tha Opposite Sex, 2 See Guys and Gurls Interact in Tha Name of Luv Just Made My Heart Bubble With Joy.
I was Also into a Talk Shows...And My All-Time Favorite Topic of Any Show Had Nuthin' 2 Do With 'Who Be My Baby Daddy?!' Or 'Stop Sleepin' Wit My Sister's Friend of Boy'.
I Loooove Those 'Ugly Duckling into Absolute Hottie' Episodes...Folks would Tell Their Stories of Being Picked on and Being Looked at as Nuthin' More as a Laugh-A-Thon Gimmick Toy.
Time Moves on, and When it Does you just Never know Who inspired To New Heights...Tha Looks on Tha Faces of Ex-Lovers Were Priceless...Degrading Somebody of Their Race, or Weight or Family's Riches...Only 2 Find Them Become A True Fantasy, And They were Just Part of Tha Ploy.
Never Judge Anybody...As a Kid or Even Grown up, because They might just Become Tha Sexiest Thang Around...U really Don't Know.
I saw Some Mouth Watering Gurls on These Shows...Tha Before and After Pics Look So Diffferent...Reminds me of Those 2am Slots on Telemundo...Where u See Those Brazilian Diet Pills for on those Informercial Shows.
I would just Listen to How These 'Ugly Ducklings' were Treated as Kiddos...Tha Want 2 Fit in, Be Like Everybody Else, Wanting Their Social Life 2 Easily Flow.
Even when I Hear Lady Models Speak, They Talk about Being Too Tall...Too Curvy...Guys Too Musclar as a Lad...Always Sticking out and Feeling Awkward for Something They Had No Control Over...Like a Sky With a Rainbow.
Everybody says That's just Typical Kid Talk, but What about When This Feeling of 'Never Gonna Fit In' spills Over through Tha Decades.
When Your Doing Everything To be Yourself, Yet When Somebody asks When Was Tha Last Time u Had a Good Night out With Somebody, Ur Memory Begins 2 Fade.
Or When U got ur Dream Home, Perhaps Ur Dream Gig Too...But u come Home Wishing for Once You Had a Dime Piece with a Sexy Mind, Sexy Body, and Isn't constantly Reminding u Of Last Year and How Much Money U Made.
You See Tha Hands Being Held, Tha Instagram #TBT of 'We First Met Here'...It Feels Like Everybody is Invited Except Me...They R Getting it Freely, While I'm Constantly Getting Heavenly Emails Asking For A Re-Up on Another Due that Has 2 Be Paid.
How Much Longer until You Finally Break? Until You Say, I'm Doing All This For Nothing and I'm Still Not on 'Tha List' of Ocean Drive Mag.
Or if You Are in a Relationship, When Do u Walk Away realizing That Tha Both of You HavevOutgrown Each Other...Ur 'I Wanna Make Luv 2 U'...They're 'I just Wanna @%#!'...Is This When u Wave Tha White Flag.
Each Bad Experience Reinforces That It's Never Gonna Happen, I'm always on Tha Outside Looking In...I'm Working Hard 9-5...While My Friend just Waits outside Tha Dolphins Locker Room...And She Has That New Gucci Purse and A Laced Out Jag.
This World Seem not 2 Be Made for Me...Tired of Getting Passed Over for Jobs...My Degree Means Nothing With a D-R or a P-H-D...Freaking Sallie Mae is Tha Most Golddiggerish American WAG.
Is this Just How it's Always Gonna Be? Liking Somebody Who's Too Young...In a Relationship...Or Meeting Cougars Who Want U For Ur Body Since They Are in Their Jungle Book Peak.
This Feeling That Life Was Cheating Rolling With Dummies in Tha Front Seat In Tha HOV Lane...While I was Trying 2 Be Honest Abe Wishing My Emancipation Proclamation on Dreams Come True Could Be Released Immediately Via A WikiLeak.
Although I got Money...Although People Say I'm So Beautiful Looking...Although My Area Code and Zip Codes are Zagat Top Five...I Still feel like Barbie, getting Hated on by Other Gurls Cuz She has a Curvacious Figure While Still eating Big Mac's with Tha Meat.
Wondering if it's So much of a Crime, Wanting 2 Crawl up in a Great Book...Or Passing on Sweets Cuz U Want 2 Be At Ur Very Best...Or Having Secret Crushes on SuicideGirls Cuz When a Hot Gurl Mixes With Beautiful Art, Nothing Else Can Compete.
Tha Only Way to Get over This 'Fitting In' thing, is To Be So Unique and Enticing that Others Are Trying To Fit Into...You.
Where You use all your Frustrations...All those 'I'm Sorry I didn't invite You' or 'I thought U Were Busy's' and make That a Thirst that Each Day becomes More New and New.
This Stuff sounds Clichè...'Bust Through Tha Doors Of Your Dreams'...Or Today this 'Fuel 2 Your Fire', but I'm Serious, So many times I've felt Disrespected by People I even knew.
Go Home Thinking, 'That Woulda Been Nice 2 Go to' or 'She Couldn't even Say Thanks, but No Thanks'...This Galaxy was founded on 'Fun and Luv', but is Being Remastered On...
Think it. Will it. And Doing Whatcha Gotta Do.
Guys and Gals, u just Reach a Point in Your Life Where You Actually believe and Know That You are Something Special and You are No Longer Gonna Settle For Second Place.
This Person Doesn't Want 2 Be Friends...Fine! I'm gonna use Every Denial...Failed Dinner Plans...Walk By's Without a 'Hi' to Take Me 2 A Level Where You can't help but Want a Taste.
Sometimes You just Have 2 Walk up to that Gurl called Life and Say...'Look, I'm Tha Best Thing For Ya. You're messing Around With These Buster Brown's, I need U...U need Me...No More Time a Waste.'
Cuz When u Filled Like No Matter What u Do...Like a Person who's ashamed of their beautiful body...Walk on Tha Beach Naked, Everybody Stares...Walk around Covered Head 2 Toe...Everybody Stares, So Do what Makes YOU Happy...Others will see that & Will want 2 Crack Tha Code 2 Ur Case.
This May Sound Egomaniacal 2 Some, but Tonight is For that Selected Few...Who Like We Said Earlier,
Are Tired of Sitting Alone at Tha Lunch Table, and Having Their Only Interaction Being...'Are You Using That Chair?'
Tha Ones Who are Fed Up about Hearing About Tha Same Drama, From Tha Same People at Tha Same Circus...Who now Have Decided if need Be they Will Ride Alone, if It means Unlimited Access To Tha 4-S Life County Fair.
With That Standing For...Smart. Strong. Successful. And I guess I can Say Sexy...Cuz in This Galaxy We Have No Problem Telling Tha Truth...Get An Extra Rush of Energy when U Doubt us By Saying...Dare.
Everybody may Think You Stuck up or Snobby, So what Let Them think That! Cuz inside You know Ur Just Focused...To be a Star Sometimes U have 2 Flip Over Tha Pillow 2 Selfish, And Stop Sleeping on That All too Familar Drool of Share.
There's No Shame to Eating Lunch Alone at Tha Table...With Your Textbooks and Pencils spread Out cuz Nobody Knows But You that During Lunchtime U need Study Time 2 Become a Superstar in Tha Making.
Others are Wasting a Time Gossiping on Cindy's Shoes...Josè's Breakup Text that Has Now Gone Viral...While Your Just In Tha Same Spot Understanding That Success Can Be Easily Fried...But You Enjoy Tha Patient Process of Tha Baking.
So Just Keep Being You, NO MATTER WHAT...Though You may Not know It, Others Are Watching You...Always Eating Food Brought From Home, in Your Brown Bag...Never eating Cafeteria Food cuz a 20/20 Docu Said Tha Chicken Patties in Tha Cafè, might be A Fakin'!!
But If u just Hold on...And Never Quit...No Matter How Lonely it May Seem...Suddenly One by One You Will Look Up and See Others Quietly Place Their Lunch on Tha Table to Join...
Others Want Fame...Some Want Money...But For a Former 'Ugly Duckling' like myself, There Nothing a Greater Than Hearing...
"Excuse Me...But Is This Seat...Taken?!!"
Luv and Become Tha Best.
Bye!
Galaxia!
No comments:
Post a Comment