Baby Gonzo's Niño.

Do u Still Believe?

This is a question I'm faced with 2 Tha max it seems.  While others tell me what they are going through, I'm left thinking, 'At least u had a chance'. U don't have go through the trials of Faith, Perseverance and Rejection as I do. Then with me, I feel like nobody can relate. Mean, I live in one of Tha most beautiful neighborhoods of Tha world here in Tha South Beach area of Miami Beach, Florida.  Have a wardrobe Tha rivals any movie star or celebrity athlete. Workout in arguably the Sexiest gym in Tha World where everybody is Beautiful, but more importantly...Real Cool. Almost like from Tha outside, my life is so perfect or storybook. But when u walk in my shoes, there's so much That doesn't meet Tha eye. Nights wondering about When is ur time in Tha Global Spotlight gonna shine? Trying to respect Tha game of life and do things how u thought u were taught to do, only to be disappointed time and time again thinking I guess Mom...Dad...Grandpa...and even God were WRONG with their views on Tha road to success. Consistently wondering if I didn't look so good or dress like I do, I could've been shacked up with a chick, had a house, and a few shortys but instead trying not 2 go just for Sex and really try to respect women and girls only 2 find out that in some ways u should be a Prick a cuss them out or not call slash text them back for a few days cuz no Gurl really wants a "good guy" on her team. I've seen sooooo much, just recently that I wonder literally if It even matters anymore.

For real.

We've learned not to compare ourself 2 others but I feel like I should be somewhere else. My name of Austino Galaxia really does reflect who I am. When it's all said or done I honestly believe that we're gonna be one of Tha best...ever. Just because Tha road has been so hard, and I feel like there's been a preparation that no one else has had 2 go through. In terms of money...fame...women...I borderline cry cuz I wonder can I just have ONE day where a lesson isn't learned and I can be like everybody else and enjoy life. And not have people watching ur every move or dissecting every detail of ur wardrobe. I don't think even Tha most popular celebrities go through what I go through. It's crazy. And I wonder if I'm experiencing all this school of stardom...when will it ever end per se? Is this a course for success or Is all this just a figment of my Imgination and I'm not good as I think and this is just a course for being yourself look?

It 

Feel like I'm such a contradiction...I spend time in bed looking for high-end fashion labels while also professing Clothes and Money isn't everything. Always trying to be a part of a Team...But will be Tha first one 2 say "I'm Tha best." Or more than willing to do things by myself. We're Tha ultimate in just having fun and enjoying life. But I almost feel like people get intimidated by U.S. Or once they see that we are Tha real deal and not some fake dude who's not smart or who has been around Tha block...People then view u like..."Weird" (Which so many people describe me as) or like "Outta their League". Like a doll thinking, 'How come Austin likes Me??? I got so many issues and he's...' Look I'm not trying to change anybody or become Captain Save-A-Lot when it comes to life and especially girls. I'm almost so borderline tired of attracting only girls who have boyfriends that I almost feel like turning gay. It's unreal. Then when u get to know an already taken Gurl it's deceiving cuz u cannot get too cool cuz they have a man but u can't toss them away like yesterday's news cuz u see that u provide a listening ear, or a bit of affection...and simply cuz it's in ur blood not to see anybody, especially a Gurl walking around sad & heartbroken. Not everybody who's in a relationship is happy. Heck, many are quite sad. I just think many times Gurl look at me as an image of that guy they really want...but are not with. Our lifestyle...our goofiness is authentic 2 Tha bone, but I'm a person too. If I see a Gurl with curves I like my solider stands at attention just like every other guy...but it's so hard to decipher if people really want me...or Tha perception of me.

They say Tha most beautiful of girls can live the most boring or in some ways loneliness of lives. It's true. People think they have it cuz they have what society considers to be Beautiful so...Gurls hate on them cuz they are jealous of their looks...Guys either don't approach them cuz they think they got No Chance...Or Tha guys Who do approach them only consider them a Trophy Girlfriend 2 flaunt around their homeboys...Then if u got brains, that is almost like a Sin. U look good...Ur Smart...and Ur Generous...So unfair is what many believe. U don't want 2 admit that u have problems too cuz people will think, "How Can You?" That's why therapists are so popular now. It is not cuz patients are suicidal or insane in Tha membrane...but it's cuz they can get a true unbiased "Listening Ear" where they can vent and be themselves without any judgment.

"Nobody cheers for Goliath." 

A statement used when we were talking about LeBron James. We love underdogs as a people really. You can be good, but not too good. That's when Excellence becomes an Expectation. And when Expectations become Consistnency we fail to Realize that it's still Excellence. Always talking bout Dating but somebody has too...Like u get in a relationship and ur Gurl cooks u dinner for Tha first time. If it's good ur probably gonna be using ur tongue for a whole lot more that evening including Apple Pie and some Tossed Salad! Lol! Ok...so she does it again, it's still good but now it may not be Tha same excitement...She does all that while ur dating then if ur blessed to get married her cooking now becomes sort of an Expectation. U feel like u work long hours, it's a woman's duty as a Wife...not thinking that it's tough to be sitting at her desk throughout Tha whole day at work contemplating all Tha work she has piled up...How she hasn't had any 'Me Time' in ages...It's that time of Tha month...Wondering if she married Tha right guy cuz he didn't even notice when she changed her hairdo 3 weeks ago...and on top of that She has to figure out what to cook cuz her Mom keeps on saying, "A way to a man's heart is through his stomach". Then once Tha meal is cooked and eaten Tha guy doesn't even show appreciation with a hug or kiss or a simple, "Honey, u put ur foot in this meal, u've been working hard, Tha least I can do is Tha dishes." 

Excellence Into Expectation...Into Consistency...Still Equals...Excellence.

This isn't mumbo jumbo, this is how I feel anybody especially a worthy gal should always be treated. I don't write or talk to get laid or so I can sleep with hot Wilhelmina Models...No, this is how I feel. It's like inviting someone out to kick it cuz u know they've had a rough week or need some air. Every good deed needs no strings attached or means somebody is "Up" to something. I mean...maybe nobody else can relate but with us it's either ur dating me or ur not. Like I can't get a simple lunch without it being an "It's Only Lunch" testimony. It's bloody crazy with gurls when I'm Tha last guy u should worry about scheming or "If I go out this time, then I owe him dot dot dot" Nooooo! I won't get into all that but....That's a price u gotta pay. At least I had 2.

I can feel everything change. EVERYTHING. Washed up on these Miami Beach shores in 2005. I'm really contemplating leaving. For L.A. of course...or Toronto or London. Something is saying not yet when I'm thinking "Why Not?" Been good times here...been some rough times but Can I still go on knowing We are a jewel inside of this Oyster which no one seemingly wants to open up...I have a good...No Great Life, but there's more...Has 2 be more. Tired of feeling like I'm ALWAYS Tha Last one...Or why Do I have to take Tha High Road in situations and be Tha motivator...Or I don't feel like going through the steps of being with a Gurl and asking her out or telling her she's so beautiful when I don't even know this chick.  Can't I just like somebody...They Like You...They are Single...Simple Convo turns into Numbers exchanged and go from there. Why are there so many walls with people nowadays. Look we all got pasts, we've all been hurt, I've probably been hurt or disappointed more than u will ever know...Accept it. Move on. And get to know Somebody else. Cuz in Tha end its those relationships..,Not Tha Money or Cars or Fame that people are gonna remember anyway. 

2 much from me today. I got no idea where this is heading. Time is of Tha essence so...I'm gonna write more. No excuses. Cuz I feel that at least One other person in This Galaxy feels me. If not, I'd just keep a regular personal diary and keep my thoughts 2 myself. Long several days...Too Much Zen...Too much 'Be Patient'...Too Many Gurls who want u, But u can't Touch Them. Welcome to my life. Maybe I'm Tha only one who Believes life is all About "Fun & Luv". And if so...Guess I'm giving u Tha Ultimate Insight to How it Truly Feels 2 Live a Life and Be a person who is so...

Weird.

Galaxia!