? To A !

(Ok...Fingers Just Move and Speak....Just Move and Speak....Just Move and....Whew!....Here We Go.)


My Life Just Ain't Worth Living.

Has Anybody Had That Thought Cross Their Mind, Like There's Got 2 Be More.
You've Tried To Mastermind Every Option and Thought...Only 2 Knock on a Seemingly Bolted Door.
Do You Best To Stay in Tha Moment, But Can't Help Every Now and Then 2 Look Up at Tha Score.
Wondering...What More Can I Do?  What More Can I Say?  I'm a Modern Day Christopher Columbus...But No Longer Want 2 Explore.

Then U Think...Maybe I Shouldn't Tell Anybody How I Feel...I am Supposed To Be Like a Superhero.
Tha One Everybody Looks To, To Be That Example...Be Humble, Even Though Ur Tha One With Big Dineros.
Tha One Who Sits at Tha Dinner Table, Who Everybody Wants To Hear How U Order...Man, He Eats So Clean, Always Passing Up on Tha Coke Zero.
I Can't Say How I Really Feel About Some Things....Nobody Would Understand Anyway...I Mean, Who Understands Having Chanel Paintbrushes With No Wall or Mural.

Never In My Life, Have I Been Closer To Just Hanging Them Up...Like Tha Babe, Or MJ or Like Tha Legendary Ali.
I Wasn't Even Gonna Write Anymore...But as I'm Watching This King of Pop Concert From '88....A Thought Flew From Tha Sky...

Why Not Me?

Then U Wonder About How Tough Tha Road Has Been...Blessed So Much in Every Way...Then In Other Ways, All U Can Do is Lay on Ur Bed and Sigh.
This Cannot Be Tha Way That I'm Gonna Go Out is it?  As Tha Best 'Might Have Been'...'Should Have Been'....Guess I'm Wrong. Sooner or Later Everybody Does Die.

After Tha Tussling and Tha Russling of Our Bed Covers, Which is Like a Daily Thang...With Me Wrestling With My Bed as If It Was an Old WWF Pay Per View.
Summerslamming....Wondering If I Can Last In This Survivor Series of Life....Thinking Tha My Life as a Wrestlemania Feature Match, Has Now Turned Into a Flat Out Zoo.
Thoughts Hit U Like...Nobody Will Understand, They Think It's So Easy...Like I Just Wake Up Everyday, and Automatically Like Tha Jetsons, I Get Advice From Tha Great Gazoo!
U Fight Ur Hardest Not To Get Jaded Or Angry Cuz It Doesn't Seem Fair...How Come This or That Person Wants Mediocre...Huh...Instead of You.

I Was Pacing Tha Floors and Doing My Dishes, Just Cussing Away In Frustration...Using F-Bombs like My Life Had Turned Into World War Three.
How Can Things Seem So Good on One End of Tha Candlestick...But on Tha Other End, U Feel like Tha Novela is Gonna End Up Sadly.
Finally, I Said, "I'm Done"....And Meant It In Every Since...No More Gentleman...No More Working Hard on Tha Gig...No More Playing Pharrell's "Happy."
I've Had it Up To Hear...Seeing Others Get What I So Badly Desire...A Dream Career....That Dream Gurl...And Tha Hope of One Day Starting a Family.

Then I Go Down My List, and Think Nobody Has To Go Through What I Go Through On Tha Daily...Knowing Ur One of tha Best, Yet Everyday Having To Wait.
Waiting For this Perfect Moment Where Practice Meets Opportunity...For So Long I've Been Buzzing but Nobody's Come To Mr. and Mrs. Success'...Golden Gate.
U Then Open Up Ur Closet and Think...This is Tha Wardrobe of a Young Hollywood Stud...Tha Gosling's...Tha Magic Mike's...Or Any Other Stud in a Movie About Love and Dates.
I Knew It Was Gonna Be a Trip, To Do What I'm Trying To Do...But Golly My...Not This Tough...How Many Other People U Know Have a Hunger For Sex, Money And Fame...Not knowing it's a Super Expensive Plate.

Next U Try To Pray, Somewhat, Wondering How Come I Can Get a Pair of Nike Hyperflights for $32, but Yet To Find a Gal Who's Super Cool and is Super Hot.
Or How Come People Can Roll Down Tha Names of People Who've Gotten Promoted...And Inside Ur Thinking...Huh.  That Kinda Sucks That I'm Still Licking on My Career Lollipop.
U Expect Excellence...U've Sacrificed More Than Many...Only To Feel Like All Your Effort Has Been To Waste...Wanting To Move On To Tha Burgers or Fries, but Are Still Stick Holding This Teenage Mop.
Shaking Ur Head, Cuz Inside It Feels like Time Isn't On Ur Side Anymore...I Mean, I've Been Waiting Over Ten Years For Jodeci's or *NSYNC's Reunion Albums To Drop.

Is This Tha Price U Have To Pay For Ur Dreams Coming True?  If So, Please Whatever U Do Don't Take This Route.
Don't Try To Be Different...Don't Try To Be Confident That Hard Work Will Pay Off...And By All Means Don't Ask God For Tha Best Gurl Around, Cuz If So...You May Have 2 Go A Vicennial Wearing a Pout.
Cuz Ur Witnessing Things Happening All Around You, and U Just Wonder When Ur Gonna Get That Chance...To Show What U've Been Working On...Tha Closer U Get To Tha Coach...Tha More Self-Doubt.
Now U Feel Like Ur Better Than Ever...But Are Stuck On Tha Bench Like a Young Kobe in '98...Tha Game is Being Played, but U know Once U Get In Tha Whole Galaxy Has To Stop.

And U Feel It In Tha Air, That Somethang Special is A Brewing, And U Aren't Tha Only One...Cuz Right When U Think It's Never Gonna Happen, Life Sends U A...Curve.
Then Ur Knees Begin To Get Antsy Once Again, Cuz U Thought It Was Ur Time To Go In...Only To Realize That That Opportunity, or That Dame Was Just Playing You like a Drum Majorette's Twirl.
So For Another Night...Another Game...Ur Warm-Ups Stay On, and Ur Thinking..."I Might Has Well Do Whatever, I Ain't Gonna Play Anyway...Tonight, I'm Telling Shorty, Make it a Double on That Syrzzurp!'
Why Care About My Body?  Why Try So Hard To Become Tha Best?  Maybe I Should Limit My Options To 6'2" Blondes, who are Plus Size Models, Rock Heels, and Always Wear Their Hair Up in Curls.

U Get Tired of Tha Game...U Get Tired of Tha Process...And Even This Weekend, U Find That U Get Tired of Wondering What, When and Who is Gonna Join U in Ur Life if Supposed Fun and Luv.
Even After All U've Been Through U Thought U Never Say U'll Have Enough Up To Tha Point That U'll Given Up on...Luvey Dove.
U See How Chicks Do Ur Boys...Think About How Gurls Have Done You...And U Wonder, How Can U Be Around So Many So Called Angels, Never To Touch Wings That Fit In Ur Hands Like a Glove.
Maybe I'm Meant To Be A Bachelor For Life...Or Never Have a Kid...Mean, There's No Seed of Tupac, Or Biggie...Tha Da Vinci Code is Kinda Suspect So Tha Only Hey-Zeus I Know Is Up Above.

These Are Tha Thoughts That Go Through Ur Mind...And Honestly, I Was a Half a Step From Placing a Call To Mom and Pops and Truly Being Like..."I'm Taking My Talents From South Beach...Oh Well."
Don't Know If I Was Going To Go To LA To Drake, Canada Or What...But I Was Done...Like Jordan Going To Tha Knicks, It Was A Secret That Soon Everybody Will Whisper and Tell.
I Quietly Asked if It Was Time For Me To Leave...And Tha Answer Was "Stay"...Which Had Me Wondering How is My Star Gonna Shine Bright When I Keep on Getting Voodoos from Magica De Spell?!
I'm Just a Kid Who Wants To Have Fun....That's It Dude.  Everythang Else is Just Whatever....I Guess I Am Happy To Have My Own Galaxy, From Outer Space This Kid Truly Fell.

Still Though This Feeling of..."It Ain't Worth It Anymore" Stayed in My Tummy...Like Some Chinese Food That Was Undercooked At Those Food Courts at Tha Mall.
Got Up Wondering, if I Should Even Get Out of Bed...Talking To My New Mexican 'Aztec' Was Great Last Nite...Matter of Night she Helped Make Might Night a Ball.
But Sometimes U Still Wonder What Can I Do and How Can I Get Outta This Funk...I Need To Do It Soon, Because I Guess Unofficially After This Weekend...Summer Will Be Over...And Then Comes Fall.
Changes Have To Be Made...Or Do They?  I Don't Know...I've Tried Everythang I know....Trying To Turn Lemons To Lemonade...Not Sweating Slights or Disses By Playing Usher's..."U Don't Have 2 Call."

Then Outta Nowhere, This Morning...It All Changed...And I Felt Jigga's Spirit Walking Around Uttering..."I Got My Swagger Back."
For Real...It Just Hit Me Like...Ur Tha Best...Ur Tha Sexiest Around...One Day, People are Gonna See That Everythang U've Been Saying, After All...Wasn't All or Entirely...Whack!
Tha Time 10:15am This Morning, Approximately 12 Hours and 5 Minutes Ago...That's When It Hit Me All Tha Great Thangs I Have in My Heart...And Why I Collect, Not Carry, But Collect Herschel Backpacks.
Cuz U Never Know When Ur Gonna Need To Dig Deep...And Find Somethang That U Stored For That Lonely Camping Trip...Felt So Good, that On Pandora I Put on Tha Station of "Return Of Tha Mack."

Everythang That Was Bothering Me, That Last Few Weeks, and All Weekend, Didn't Matter Anymore...Not Only Am I Gonna Get Ultra Good, I'm Even Gonna Lick My Spoon.
Those Thoughts of 'This Gurl is Cute But....' or 'How Come Tha Good Gurls End Up With These Dudes' Left...In 60 Seconds it Went From...Perhaps Never...To Very, Very Soon.
Those Thinkings of It's Not Worth It...Disappeared As Well...It Went From I Did My Best To Reach Tha Stars But.....To Yeah, I'll Do Anythang It Takes To Get What I Want...And I Truly Do Want Tha Moon.
I've Never Been So Low on Life...And I Guess Even Tha Great Ones Lose Motivation To Live...I Mean Even Tha Sexiest Chicas Around Have Weekends Where All They Do is Cry...Make-Up Looking Like a Raccoon.

Seems Like Ur Just on Such a Journey that's Hard To Explain...And Me Personally, I've Yet To Really Find ANYBODY Who Can See Life Just Like I Do.
I'm Weird...I'm Into Fun...Like To Dance, Read And Act A Fool....Yet Can See Me Joke around About Bible Verses, and How I Want To Throw Tha Wildest Parties Where People Are Riding Pony Heads on a Stick While Entering Galaxia's Zoo!
I'm Very Goal-Orientated, in That I Really Want To Be One of Tha Best That's Ever Lived...That's No Lie...Whether Talking Bout Impact, Romance or Coolness, I Want That Title By Tha Year 2022.
Everybody is Different, I Know...But We are Really Tha Rarest of Tha Rare...I Can Go Deeper into What Tha Entails, but I'll Save Tha Convo For a Bedroom Talk With My Dime on Tha Night of "Something Borrowed...Something Blue."

It's Ok, To Go Through a Slump...Or Feel like Nobody Reaallllllly Loves You....Thinking And Wondering How Things Can Be So Good, and Then Turn Into Everyday U Wish U Could Just Sleep Away.
Baseball Players Can Go Through Hitless Slumps For Weeks, and Then 'Boom' They Get a Hit, and For the Rest of Tha Season They are Hitting like Kung Pow! Chicken From Pei Wei.
Horrible Days, Relationships Or Friendships That Fail...Those Midnight Skies Don't Last Always...Still Believe Our Darkest Hours are Right Before, We Really and Truly Are About To Get Our Way.
I've Never Felt Like, 'It's Over.'...Or I've Never Felt Like I Did Saturday...'I Can't Stand Gurls Anymore and I'll Do This Life Thang Alone'...But I Did...It Ain't Fun, When U've Done All U Know and Still Can't Find Ur Way.

U Open Urself Up...And Do All That U Were Taught as A Kid, But Still It Isn't Good Enough...And U See Tha Spoils of Others Thinking...There's No Way They Had To Deal With an Episode Like I'm Going Through.
22 Years Young and Happily Married...Cat Just Signed a Seven-Figure Contract For Doing What They Luv...And I'm Still Hoping That My Career Will Ultimately Take Off, and That I Can Have a Doll That Looks Like That French Maid, Yvette  In Tha Movie, Clue.
You Never Know Though, What Ingredients Ur Gonna Need To Make Up Your Grand Dish...Sometimes Tha Worst Tasting Things Individually...When Added To Others Can Make Tha Perfect Stew.
Guess U Have To Take Tha Good With Tha Bad...The Days Every Gurl Wants To Bang You, and Tha Nights Where Ur Only Friend is a Old Teddy Bear...Without My Little Hong Kong Phooey, I Don't Know What I'd Do!

Keep Saying That I'm Tha Best That I've Ever Been...As I Say That I Should've Known That I'll Be Tested To Tha Max....On Tha Humbug...Just To See.
Just To See, If I'm Who I Pride Myself In Being...Can U Handle This Though?  Or Yeah, U Close But What About This Job Rejecting Ur Effort?  Do U Really Want To Join This Club of Donald, Bugs and Mickey?
Crazy How Quickly Things Can Change...Just a Few Hours Ago I Was Wondering Why All This Crazy Stuff Happens To Urs Truly....And How Come It's So Hard For People To Open Their Eyes and See.
I Keep On Saying That One Day, We're Gonna Show That We Are Tha Best, and Nobody Will See Anythang Like It Again...

Our Journey Has Shown That I'm Right On This Cusp...And I'm More Than Ready...

U May Laugh When I Say That We're Gonna Change This World and One of tha Best Ever...

But I Just Ask You, Like Eye Kept On Asking Myself Until 10:14 am This Morning....


Why Not Me.


Galaxia!