Tonight is One of Those Nights Where I'm Trying 2 Decide Which Way To Turn Tha Wheel.
Seemingly Sexy Dames Are on Our Mind...As Is Money...It's Like a Episode of Deal or No Deal.
It's Becoming just So....
HoldUpHoldUpHoldUpHoldUp!!
Just Got Off Tha Phone With My Guy Coca Bean Riley...Talking About How We Used To and Still Get Down. Folks just Don't Know...So As I Was About To Write About This Dream I Had This Morning Where I was Playing in This Basketball Game, and I was Putting on a Show To Remember, and truly was Tha Best Player in Tha World...YET...I and My Performance was Being Ignored and Nobody was realizing What Was Happening Right in Front of Them. (Yeah, I Have Krazy Dreams Don't Eye!) Let's See if we can break Down How we're really feeling at this Moment...It's just Us and Tha Diary anyway, So Let's Roll!
I really, really, really feel like our life is about to Blast Off from This Present Inner Space.
And Into Orbit...(Whew! Finally!)...Where Everythang I've Dreamed Of, Will Fall Into Place.
People Laugh at My Silly Ways...Avoiding Certain Things Like Sweet Candies...Hey, A Brotha Gotta Watch Tha Pimples on His Face!
More Than Ever I Feel Like I'm Coming Into Mine Own...Enjoying My Intricacies, all Tha While Realizing That Tha Tortoise Does Sometimes Win Tha Race.
"'...Don't Settle!'"...Oh, How I Luv My Pops! Once again, breaking it Down 2 Me in Regards To Females.
Warning Me Not To Rush Thangs, and just Jump in Tha Sack With Anybody Who Has a Curvy Body and Adidas Toe Shells.
Things are interesting with me and This Thang Call Luv, Almost like God Created This Dream Season of Tha Bachelor For Me...And Into My Lap, Since like '94, it Just Fell.
Filled With Kisses, Near Misses, and 'What Ever Happen To's?!!'...With Tha Entire Country Wondering When am I Gonna Hear Tha Luv TKO Bell.
Uh-Oh! I Feel like This Might Be a Good One Tonight!
For Like Tha....Ahhh...Last Few Weeks I've Dwelt on Why Our Life Is So Much Ying and Yang?!
We Feel like We Got a Rock Star Type of Lifestyle....Yet Also Feel like we Haven't Even Gotten Started Doing Our Thang.
Have known Some of Tha Most Beautiful Creatures on Earth...Yet Our Friendships Haven't Developed Beyond a Flirty VH-1 Reality Show Type Fling.
Like People Want To Be Around Us...But Not Get Too Close...Almost like a Guy Wanting To Go See J.Lo in Concert, and just Gawking At Her, not paying Attention 2 How She Sings.
I'm Gonna Write This Tonight...In Life, When Things Don't Go Ur Way, All U Sometimes Can Do is Wonder.
Like Stevie...Hoping Tha a Ribbon in Tha Sky Can Give U A Sign To Why Ur Life is Ultra Good, Yet Sometimes Feel like a Big Blunder.
Inside Ur Like, 'I Know I'm One of Tha Best, But Why Must I Wait'...Knowing There's an 'S' on Ur Chest, but This Clark Kent Character is Tha One People Hold On 2 Every...Single...Summer.
Learning that U Can't Change What People Think About U...But I Cringe When I Go Through another Stage Socially or Career Wise...Cuz U Just Know There Won't Be Another.
We're Not Tooting Our Horns, or What Not, just Saying How I Feel, and Lately I've Been Pretty Wound Up at What We Have HAD 2 Go Through.
Being Patient is a Strong Point, While Again It's Not of Ours...Seemingly I've Had To Be Taught How To Wait Your Turn...Like seeing a Newly Born Panda at Tha Zoo.
Ur Up Late at Night Thinking....Ur Up Early Taking Notes...Reading Everythang Positive To Make Sure That Ur Cloudy Days Will Turn into Sunny Ones So Blue.
It's Amazing How Motivation can 'Turn U Up!'...And U Can Look Back and Think...'My Oh My...Now I'm So Well, after Dealing With That Seemingly Never Ending Soul Flu.'
This Process That I've Been On...Can't Even Describe It...And I knew...Just Knew That it would be Tough.
I'm asking for a Lot....Sexy Job, Fun Lifestyle, Possibly a Gurl Who Looks Flawless in a Evening Gown...While at Tha Experience of 50 Still Look Good in Tha Buff!
"Don't Settle"...That's In Intriguing Thang at This Moment, Cuz I Feel like I Can Do Whatever, and Whoever I Want, Until My Ikea Bed Screams Out, "Now, Now...U Two Rabbits, that's Enough!"
As Much as I Want To Go That Route, Somethang Inside is telling Me To Remain True To My Morals and My Dreams...Even Though Those 2 Thangs are Still Difficult 2 Hold On To and Cuff.
Ok, So I'm on Tha Airplane Back From Indiana and Chicago This Weekend on Sunday, and I See This Gurl...And Of Course, She's With Her Man.
No Problem, That's Cool....Yet, it's Very Rare That I see a Gurl With a Enticing Style, and Lithe yet Sumptuous Body, and Definitely it Didn't Hurt That She had This Mediterranean looking Tan.
She was Rocking These Short Blue Shorts and White Blouse, and Some Boots...She Looked TMZ Hot...A Few Years Ago I Might Have Needed a Fan!
And I Thought...How Did "Those Two" Meet? Was It at Tha Club? During Passing Periods in High School? Or on Tha Side of Tha Road with His or Her Broken Down Fan?
I'm in my Aisle Seat, Rocking out To Some Paula Abdul...While Reading 'HangTime' With Bob Greene and Air Jordan...Truly Enjoying My Flight.
From my Rare, I See That She's Gotten Up To Go To Tha Bathroom, She Walks Past Me, I Didn't Even Look, But I Already Knew That Her Booty was Tha Closest Thang To seeing a WWE Diva On Sight!
I Kept On Doing My Thang...With My Emporio Armani Sunglasses on Too Mind You...Either Looking Like a Real Young Hollywood Celeb...Or Like I Just Got Beat Up in Some After Club Alley Fight!
Neither One, but U Still Know When a Top Shelf Gurl is Around...Like George Costanza Says, it can feel like a 'Forbidden City'...Guys Know...Gurls Know...Physical Beauty Sometimes Can Feel like Dynamite.
I See Her Coming Back My Way After Her Bathroom Break, and For Some Reason She's Like Frozen Right In Front of Me to My Left...And Her is Another Lesson of What I Attract.
Now...I Was Cool, but Her Booty was Literally 'RIGHT IN MY FACE'...And a Doll Rocking Some Tiny Marc Jacobs Shorts and Make U Go Against Everythang in Ur Luv Contract.
She Just Stood There...And Stood There...Gets Me To Thinking When EVERY GURL AND WOMAN I Knew...Would Brush There Boobs On Me, I Wish I Had Those Videos on a Disc Compact.
These Compromising Situations That I Find Myself In...Right When I Say That I'm Gonna Appreciate a Gurl For Who She Is...Somethang Happens To Say, "Yeah Right...U Know U just want a Gurl Who's Got Back."
Then as I Walk Up To My South Beach Showroom around 12:35am in Tha Morning...Another Beauty, that I've Never Seen Opens Tha Gate Door as I'm About 2 Go In.
I Tell Her That, "I'm Going In"...Not Realizing That Line Could Be Used in Movies Concerning War, Boxing Matches...Or Even Porno Flicks That Can Make U Freaky Every Now and Then.
She asked, "Do U Live Here?", While Talking on Tha Phone...I Almost Went Off in a Lindsay Lohan "How Dare U Ask?" Type of Way...I simply shook my head, and Went on In.
But She was Beautiful...."Physically"...Blue Eyes, Black Hair, Middle Eastern Accent, So Exotic...Reminded Me of a Mermaid...She Coulda Easily been Tha Muse That Walt Disney Drew Up With His Pen.
I used To Really Be Open About Tha Type of Gurl...This is Turning Into Luv Hour Ain't It?!...Tha Type of Gal I Would Date, If I Wanted To.
It's So Broad....Yet So Narrow as Well...And I Think if I'm Ever Gonna Be That Guy Who Settles Down...Sometimes I Don't Even Think Gurls Think I Will...Somethang I Won't Do.
Like Tall Gurls....Geeky Gurls...Gurls Who Rock Nike's...While Those Who Do Yoga...Pray....And Those Who Don't Show Up To Tha Discoteca Til After Two!
I've Never Seen a Love Life Like Ours Before...It's Mind Bending...Almost Wondering if There is Somebody Who Enjoys Laughs, Fun and Showing Luv as Much as Me...Right Now I Haven't Gotten Tha Slightest Clue.
Now A Gurl May Be Reading This, Thinking This Dude is Wild...But Certain Gurls...Let's Be Honest...Really Cool and Attractive Gurls, Who are Single, Feel Tha Same Way as I've Just Wrote.
Wondering How People Treat U So Differently on So Many Levels...When If They Were To Get 2 Know You, They Will See That Ur Just a Person Who Wants To Have Fun...and Definitely Share Many Jokes!
Some People Hold U at This Level...Just Because U Got a Pretty Face....Drive a Certain Car...Live in a Certain Neighborhood...U Get So Much attention, that U Don't even Rock Ur Gucci Limited Edition Tote.
Shoot...My Table Almost Fell Over! Whew...But Yeah...All This Physicality and Material Gain That Surrounds You, can Cloud Minds...And Make U Feel Like it Is Better to Not Be Attractive or To Be Broke.
Like I Said, I'm Reading This HangTime Book on Michael Jordan from like '91, Which is a Good Read...But Just Came on This Part About Envy.
Tha Author asked MJ if he ever Thought About What it Was To Not Be Famous or Be...Sorta Normal, and To Walk Around Not in Tha Spotlight and To Be Ever So Happy.
I'll Let u Read Tha Book To Get His Answer....But, I used To Be in This Comparison Mode So Much...And Let Me Say, it Ain't Worth It Bro! Like a Sneaker With Never Ending Beads of Beach Sandy.
U just keep going and going...How Come This? Why She Got That? And instead of Living Life With Tha Mindset of a Child...U Become Resentful and Jaded like Some Ungrateful Granny.
Probably Tha Biggest Change in My Life recently is Tha Realization of Everybody is Different...One...And Also How Everythang isn't Always What it Seems, and U Might Just Be Tha Only One Who...Who...
Trying To Think of How To Put It...Other People May Not Share In Ur Dreams To Be Tha Best...Look Tha Hottest...Or To Actually Change This Globe, and Live Each Day Like It's New.
Just Because a Person Looks Red Carpet Hot...Or Likes Tha Same Music...or Enjoys Walks on Tha Beach...Or Hip Hop...Or Believes in God...Doesn't Mean, They are Cut from tha Same Cloth as You.
Almost Like When U Go To New York City, and U Get That Bootleg Prada Bag...It Looks Like Prada, Really, Really Close...But Only Real Fashionistas Can Tell That it's a Fake...and Give U a 'Boo-Hoo!!'
That's Soooo True! This Situation Has Happened To Me Time...And Time...Again...To Many a Nights I've Just Come Home and Wondered...Why?
This Job Looked So Perfect....This Condo's Zip Code is Perfect For My Image...This Gurl Looked Good and was Cool on Social Media, But Then When I Get Real...She's Afraid To Get Up and Fly.
One Thang Experience Can Give U, is a More Detailed Eye To Thangs...Discerning What's Real or What's Fake...After a Rejection, or Let Down...That ABC Number of 20/20 becomes within Reach In Ur Soul's Eye.
U Then Learn Within What Things U Can Live With and Without...And Also Which People Are Worth Living For, and Those Who U Aren't Worth U Taking a Bullet Out Tha Sky.
Besides...I'm Gonna Get in Trouble...Tha Love of Life...Music...Taking Care of Herself...Style of Dress...A Curvy Body with Sexy Hips and Nice Boobs, That One Thang I look for in a Gurl is her Use of tha Word...
'Hi.'
For Some Reason...Did I Mention She Has To Have a Smidget of Latina in Her?...But I Really Look at That Word Cuz it tells me a lot in How U Interact with Strangers and With So Called Friends on Tha Sly.
I've Talked or Texted Gurls at Tha Midnight Hour, Then literally hours later saw them and They Act So Brand New...I'm Like Dude...I was Tha Last Person U Spoke To Before u Went Nighty Night!
But It Shows Me if U Have a Courteous Side To You...Yeah, U Might Be Shy, but a "Good Morning!" or "Have a Nice Day!" is Refreshing...and shows U want to put Positive Energy into Tha Air and Somebody's Life.
It Can Go a Long Way...Down here in Miami, Especially, but in a Lot of Places, We Place So Much on Physical Beauty, I Mean just look at This Post U See That I'm a Snob in terms of How I Like My Gurls To Look.
If I Could Give One Lesson To Any Youngster or My Nephew Avery of 1 1/2 Years Old...It Will Be....No Matter What...Don't Judge a Cover...But Please Read Tha Book.
Has Anybody seen This E! Network Show 'Botched'? Tha Other Day I Saw This Plastic Surgery Go Wrong on a Woman Who Had Butt Surgery...It was really Bad...Tha Doctor Had To Be Some Kind of Crook.
To See a Butt Saggy, Wrinkly...I Luv Tha Human Body...And It Even Hurt Me To See That State of Bootylicious...Say That Tha Lengths We Go To "Per-Fect" Our Outward, When our Inward Needs To Be Shook.
Being Too Open Right Now 2night....But Even Though I've Got It Going On (Rubbed My Knuckles As I Wrote That!) Just Joking...But When U Get...Delayed in Ur Purpose...U Wonder What Else Can You Improve On?
Suddenly...Working Out and Having 6-Pack Abs isn't Good Enough...I Must Need an 8 Pack...Cuz How Can She Turn 'This' Down, Son.
U Start To Buy Tha Latest Threads Cuz u Now Want Ur Look To Be Perfect, if I Got Tha Newest Kicks, or These Clothes Made from Dudes in Pair-ree...I'll Be Able To Get Her Out Her Clothes and In Tha Thong.
Feeling Like Ur Coming Up Short...Time and Time...And Time Again...Ain't No Fun...Others May Envy 2 Be in Ur Position, but Ur just Thinking That Ur a Prince Royce Waiting for His Rolls Crown.
This Evening I Looked into My Closet...And I Was Shocked At What I Found...Don't say This Too Much, but I Will.
I Got So Many Clothes With Tags Unpopped...Designers from All Over Tha Globe, Straight Up...Joe's...Seven's...One of a Kind Tees, all I Could Do is Just Stand There with My Mouth Open Still.
Then Behind Me I Got Like 8 to 9 Pair of Kicks That I Haven't Even Worn! Tha Hottest Kicks That I got Hookups On...U Think That I just Signed a New Nike or Jordan Shoe Deal!
Could Go On About Marc Jacobs Unworn Bracelets or Books Unread...Or Hot Wheels Cars in Their Packages...So Much Thangs Materistically...Somehow I Feel like God is Gonna Give Me an "IOU" Bill.
Not as If I Buy or Shop Carelessly, because I'm ULTRA Specific in What I Spend on, Determined To Only Buy Pieces That are Timeless and Can Be Considered True Investments To My Personality.
Just Say All This To Say, That U Can Have Everythang in Tha Globe, but That Sometimes Doesn't Make a Person Luv You (Truly Luv You.), Nor Can Abundance Make Everythang Go Right...Still Need "Me".
That's Why When I See Couples or People Reach There Goals of Making It Big on TV, I wonder is This Life just a Game? Cuz it really Doesn't Matter What U Look Like or Where Ur From...Seemingly.
So Instead of Me Shopping Til I Drop on Vacations, I Should Make Better Investments To Where I Go, Who I Date, and How I Can Become Stronger and Sexier 'Inside Out'...I know it Sounds like a Boring Story.
But, all This..."I've Gone Through Tha Steps" and "I'm just Tired" kind of Talk has To Stop...And I Just Have to Live.
When U have Those Periods When Ur Forced To Look Within...(Hospital Stay, Death of Close Family Member, A Break-Up), U Find Out What Ur Made Of, and What's Important 2 U, and What Do U Burp up On Ur Everyday Bib.
Is It Negativity forgetting That Ur Road isn't Like Others...Or That True Success Takes Time...Or That Ur Supposed To Go Through Bad Luv Episodes if U Want Tha Best...Sometimes in Order To Get...U Got 2 Give.
I Fell into that Trap, of Feeling Sorry For Myself..."Why Do I Got To Work This Shift?" or "It Was Betta If I Neva Met That Gurl, and She's Married, and I'm Still Mad About Our Episode in Which She Ignored How I Feel."
Yes. It Makes U Upset When Others Get "Supposedly" Blessed When They Did u Wrong...Or After Years Ur Still Going Through Tha Steps 2 Ur Dream.
Yet, U Can Lean Back like Joey Crack and Realize What U are after...Others Might Not Be...They Might Be after Blue Bell, but Ur Trying To Eat Somethang More Healthy Yet Have Tha Taste of Tha Sweetest Vanilla With Sprinkles Ice Cream.
I've Stopped Trying To Compare Myself 2 Others, Cuz There Isn't One (Smile!)...And Trying To Try To Make Tha Past a Lead In To My Future...Lessons Taken, Ok...But Now Leave Those Levi's With Worn Out Seams.
Everythang Has Made U Better...Ur at Tha Top Of Ur Game...and Now U Realize That U are gonna get What U Want Anyway...but U Had To be Groomed For It...Like Luke Skywalker When He Got His First Beam.
It's 10:50pm, and I got 2 Wash Dishes Now...but Don't Give Up...a 'No' Doesn't Mean a 'Never'...I think it just means a Simple...Delay.
Sometimes U just Have To Push Through Those Days and Nights When Everythang feels like it's Going Against You...and U Feel like That Knight Who Wished He Could Get Just One Day.
Told U Earlier, bout My Dream Early This Morning...Putting on a Show, but Walking Away like it was all Being Taken For Granted and Nobody Acknowledging Our Spectacular Play.
As In Real Life, That Shouldn't Mean That U Stop Being You or Doing What Ur Doing...Sometimes Silence Means That Ur Are on Tha Right Track and Road...
That's Why When I See Couples or People Reach There Goals of Making It Big on TV, I wonder is This Life just a Game? Cuz it really Doesn't Matter What U Look Like or Where Ur From...Seemingly.
So Instead of Me Shopping Til I Drop on Vacations, I Should Make Better Investments To Where I Go, Who I Date, and How I Can Become Stronger and Sexier 'Inside Out'...I know it Sounds like a Boring Story.
But, all This..."I've Gone Through Tha Steps" and "I'm just Tired" kind of Talk has To Stop...And I Just Have to Live.
When U have Those Periods When Ur Forced To Look Within...(Hospital Stay, Death of Close Family Member, A Break-Up), U Find Out What Ur Made Of, and What's Important 2 U, and What Do U Burp up On Ur Everyday Bib.
Is It Negativity forgetting That Ur Road isn't Like Others...Or That True Success Takes Time...Or That Ur Supposed To Go Through Bad Luv Episodes if U Want Tha Best...Sometimes in Order To Get...U Got 2 Give.
I Fell into that Trap, of Feeling Sorry For Myself..."Why Do I Got To Work This Shift?" or "It Was Betta If I Neva Met That Gurl, and She's Married, and I'm Still Mad About Our Episode in Which She Ignored How I Feel."
Yes. It Makes U Upset When Others Get "Supposedly" Blessed When They Did u Wrong...Or After Years Ur Still Going Through Tha Steps 2 Ur Dream.
Yet, U Can Lean Back like Joey Crack and Realize What U are after...Others Might Not Be...They Might Be after Blue Bell, but Ur Trying To Eat Somethang More Healthy Yet Have Tha Taste of Tha Sweetest Vanilla With Sprinkles Ice Cream.
I've Stopped Trying To Compare Myself 2 Others, Cuz There Isn't One (Smile!)...And Trying To Try To Make Tha Past a Lead In To My Future...Lessons Taken, Ok...But Now Leave Those Levi's With Worn Out Seams.
Everythang Has Made U Better...Ur at Tha Top Of Ur Game...and Now U Realize That U are gonna get What U Want Anyway...but U Had To be Groomed For It...Like Luke Skywalker When He Got His First Beam.
It's 10:50pm, and I got 2 Wash Dishes Now...but Don't Give Up...a 'No' Doesn't Mean a 'Never'...I think it just means a Simple...Delay.
Sometimes U just Have To Push Through Those Days and Nights When Everythang feels like it's Going Against You...and U Feel like That Knight Who Wished He Could Get Just One Day.
Told U Earlier, bout My Dream Early This Morning...Putting on a Show, but Walking Away like it was all Being Taken For Granted and Nobody Acknowledging Our Spectacular Play.
As In Real Life, That Shouldn't Mean That U Stop Being You or Doing What Ur Doing...Sometimes Silence Means That Ur Are on Tha Right Track and Road...
And It Feels Good 2 Know That This World Is About 2 See How I Get When I Know...
I'm Only Moments Away.
#DreamBig
#SayItBelieveItItShallBe
Galaxia!
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